Christmastime can be difficult for lower-income families. The commercialization of the holiday leads many people to feel that they need to spend money on expensive gifts for loved ones. We sometimes end up forgetting that gift-giving is not and should not be transactional.
A woman recently took to Reddit to ask if she was in the wrong for buying a cheaper gift for one nephew in comparison to the other children in her extended family. The reason why she did this was because the nephew’s family is poor, and his parents wouldn’t be able to afford nice gifts in return. This caused tension between herself and her husband, so she went to the Am I The Asshole community for advice.
Using A Throwaway Account, The User Shared Her Story.
The User Also Provided An Update In Response To Comments And To Add Context.
In The Story, The User Discusses How Her Husband Grew Up Poorer Than Her.
OP makes the money in her family and describes her husband’s family as working class. They are immigrants who have spent much of their life working hard to make ends meet. She then discusses how she sets a certain budget for each child in the family for Christmas and will spend more or less on them depending on different circumstances.
OP’s nephew and his parents recently immigrated and are undocumented. The mother doesn’t work, and the father has to work extra hours to barely make it by. Because she knew they couldn’t afford to buy gifts in return, OP decided to only buy the nephew a small gift. Her husband was upset, saying that he deserved more and that she didn’t understand what it was like to grow up in that kind of situation.
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OP spent a little bit more on gifts for the nephew, but the husband is still mad. She seems to not understand why he is upset.
For The Reddit Commenters, The Case Is Pretty Cut And Dry.
Users felt that OP might look down on her husband’s family, and that is one of the reasons why she doesn’t understand how cruel she’s being.
Others Don’t Understand Why She Wouldn’t Want To Spend More To Give The Nephew Nicer Things.
If you have the means and know a relative is struggling, wouldn’t you want to help them out?
Many More Point Out How OP Seems To View Christmas Gift Giving As Transactional.
Many users said the phrase, “you don’t give to receive.” Gift-giving should be about making someone else feel good, not expecting to get something of the same value in return.
