Humans, we’re a weird bunch aren’t we? We drink too much alcohol when we know it is bad for us, we let people FaceTime on speakerphone in public without hurling them into the sun, and we vent about these things with remarkable self-awareness online to strangers!
Well, I thought I’d gather some of these irrational and unusual things that we humans do together into one bite-sized list, all for your viewing pleasure and ease. So here are 15+ thing that we do, that make absolutely no sense!
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Watching Nature Documentaries
I had to stop watching any nature documentaries that have penguins in, as I’m sick of getting attached to penguins only for a killer whale or some such nonsense to come along and tear through them like tissue paper then swim off like it hasn’t just broken my heart.
“I’ve Heard That Gives You Cancer…”
I always feel sorry for the doctors who have to deal with these people and just go to their happy place. I don’t think I could hold my tongue.
The Carnal Sin
Seeing someone do this on public transport makes me more annoyed than anything else. That person could defecate on one of the seats and I’d be horrifically disgusted sure, but I would not be as low-key seething as I would be if they whipped out their phone and started FaceTiming on speakerphone.
The World’s Most Calorific Starter
If you just presented someone with a wedge of cheese to eat they’d think, “Good God that’s going to destroy my arteries!” However, deep-fry it in strips at a fancy restaurant and you could inject it into most people’s veins with no pushback.
The Inexplicable Conundrum Of Room Service
All while sipping at a tiny can of coke which costs more than your house, bliss!
*Winky Face*
When you see someone wink in real life, it is wildly unsettling. However, over text, it is perfectly acceptable.
“But This One Says It’s Made Specially With Genealogy…”
It never ceases to amaze me the amount of nonsense that companies like Clinique can shoehorn into their glorified water paste, only for us all to fall for it!
Free Will Is Wild
It is quite baffling to think of the amount of daft stuff that people do, and there is nothing in the universe that just sends you an anonymous letter to make sure you’re alright.
“Thank you for noticing”
As long as humans grace the Earth with their presence, there will always be humorous signs. No matter how asinine, there will always be one person who finds these hilarious.
The Last Line Of Defense
No matter how old you get, the fear that comes from sleeping with your leg hanging off the edge of the bed never goes away.
*Slaps Hand Away From Chips*
Quite frankly, people shouldn’t be sharing bags of snacks. If you want snacks, buy your own bag of snacks like an adult with no sense of portion control.
The Math Problem
This would happen all of the time in our school and I still don’t get it. Like, come on, names are reused, is this news to you?
“There was a moth in our kitchen.”
There is nothing like finding a flying insect in your house, to make people freeze and devote the rest of their evening to catching/swatting the intruder.
Music Nowadays Makes No Sense!
The sooner people realize that all music is just drugged up nonsense the better! And yes, that absolutely includes Christian rock!
“Why I use chopsticks.”
Look, the quicker all people who can’t use chopsticks can just swallow their pride and ask for forks when they’re eating, the less embarrassing it will be for everyone!
“Took me an hour but worth it.”
I mean, was it? Was it really worth it? Sure, it’s cool and all, but… why?
Texting The Ex
No matter how bad of an idea it is, alcohol will make it seem like a perfectly good plan.
“My 22 year old daughter wanted a label maker for Christmas… Didn’t know why, but woke up to this, this morning.”
People love putting labels on things despite the fact that they can just see what the thing is by looking at it!
Snapchatting At The Worst Possible Moment
Sure, you may be permanently injured or die, but you want to make sure you’re trending when you go out!
“Why did I draw this?”
Why does anyone create any art? This has been a question plaguing minds for centuries.
What Is It About Traffic Cones?
I wish I could figure out what it is that is so inherently appealing about moving traffic cones around when you are drunk. Is it the bright colour?
Get Daft Tattoos
I never understood the “funny tattoo” craze. I mean, yeah it’s kind of funny, but that’s on your body forever! Just look up some jokes.
“Dad took a bad photo last year. so we blew it up and wrapped his presents in it.”
Why is it that we are so obsessed with bad photos of our loved ones? I guess it is a form of affection, or do we just secretly hate them?
The Ultimate Embarrassment
The only option then is to just pull them up a chair and invite them to join you.
Never Getting A Good Nights Sleep
It seems so easy on paper, go to bed early and get a good nights sleep. However, when has that ever actually worked out for anyone?
Irrational Paranoia
It is quite common to be paranoid about what your partner is thinking about, but in reality they’re likely thinking about asinine crap that has no bearing on reality for no good reason.
“My husband, everyone.”
Sure, it would be easier just to buy chocolate or vanilla ice cream, but where is the challenge in that?
“I put a wig on my dog because why not and I do not regret my impulsive decision.”
Dressing animals in clothes is one thing, but putting wigs on them is next level… in a good way of course!
“I hope this pie chart is relatable.”
You’d think that if people just enjoy the hot water bit so much, more people would have baths!
The Fun Option!
Sure, one of them is a household necessity, but the other makes you cry/laugh/ill in equal measure! It’s a no brainer!
