Signs, signs, everywhere, signs. Somethin’ up the scenery, something-something signs.
Yes, it’s true: signs are everywhere. Usually they’re telling you to stop, or wear a shirt and shoes, or something bland. But sometimes, they’re here to make you laugh.
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She’s probably right.
I say this not to make fun of her romantic prospects, but because our planet is literally getting hotter than the hottest imaginary boyfriend or girlfriend ever imagined.
Sounds fun.
They win points for honesty, but perhaps they need a better carrot to lure in visitors. Like, an experience that’s almost, but not quite, blindness doesn’t exactly sound like fun.
The nuclear option.
If you coworkers won’t listen to your reasonable demands and continue to make the office kitchen smell, this is a fair next step. It’s time to draw a line in the sand.
*Rim shot*.
This is one of those political jokes that everyone can get on board with. Whatever your personal beliefs, whatever age you are, you probably know this to be true on some level.
Welcome to Erf.
Independence Day commemorates something that happened a long, long time ago. It was important, sure, but at this point isn’t a beloved 1996 Will Smith blockbuster closer to the public’s consciousness.
*Cries in small business owner*.
This is a moderately funny sign on its own level, but it’s actually totally true. Jeff Bezos could certainly afford to sponsor a few (million) youth teams, but I don’t see him doing it.
Waste not, want not.
Apart from those “Do not remove or you’ll go to jail” tags on pillows, I’ve never seen a tag that cares what you do with it. This one might not be a great napkin, but at least it’s honest.
Oh, I get it.
The first person who realized they could create a label that fit perfectly around the “Kenworth” logo on trucks is a genius. I’m torn on whether this is SFW or not.
One step at a time.
This sign would be even better if the gym partnered up with a plastic surgery place. That way, the fat and ugly people of the world would have a way to fully rectify the situation.
What a deal!
Takeaway orders are nothing new in the food industry, but this place puts a new spin on it. It almost makes the act of driving to get a meal seem futuristic.
Har har har.
This is a joke that keeps on giving for at least one beat past its normal punchline. It’s also the kind of joke that’s destined to be used by dads everywhere.
Tough but fair.
You could just ask parents to get their kids to shut up. But that wouldn’t put much fear into them, and without fear, can you ever truly get the sweet silence you want?
Who hurt you?
I can’t even imagine the kind of tortilla-related hijinks went on to necessitate these signs. Like, even if someone did smuggle some rogue tortillas inside, what’s the worst they could really do with them?
Hmmm.
I’m not a hundred percent sure of what this sign is trying to communicate. Either a property owner got a little too creative with the puns, or they intend to sell you into human slavery.
Thanks, Karen.
There are a few signs like this floating around the internet, so it’s hard to say if this is the original or just an imitator. Either way, it’s a great way to deflect unfair reviews.
Mind=blown.
Maybe dog owners that don’t clean up after their mutts aren’t lazy. They might just think the poop fairy is real. This sign should help them snap back into reality.
Keanu can handle it.
Everyone knows that invoking the name of Keanu Reeves makes everyone take notice. I would amend this sign to read, “Also, leave Speed 2: Cruise Control on the shelf, because Keanu’s not even in it.
Seems reasonable.
If you’ve ever lived through a hurricane, you know that basic supplies are in high demand. This gas station invokes a classic Seinfeld character to take a stand that seems pretty fair, really.
Graphic detail.
Most of these signs are intentionally funny on a certain level. But in this case, I think the sign maker was deadly serious with their message: watch out for the arm or it’ll bonk you in the head.
That escalated quickly.
This list starts as an exhaustive run-down of things that you shouldn’t flush down the toilet, then quickly takes an unexpected turn that’ll have you questioning your very existence.
Passive-aggressive.
This “no checks” sign just couldn’t resist going in for the snark. I can hardly blame them. In what world does someone still think checks are a valid form of payment in 2019?
Take flight, then tweet.
This sign understands that a burning building, with its dramatic smoke and flames, makes for a good photo op. It just asks that you, y’know, make sure to survive the blaze before tweeting it.
Soup of every day.
I’m unsure if this place just ran out of soup and needed to improvise on its signboard, or if they’re just trying to tell you what to expect when you go inside.
Orange you glad they warned you?
This sign in Singapore warns people about the ravages of the hot sun. But hey, some people want to be orange. I’m not sure this would be a deterrent to anyone who idolizes The Situation.
Let me think about that.
The process of making food, drinks and alcohol can be full of twists and turns. But I’m still not sure how a potato’s path to vodka is comparable to a vegan’s path to being a carnivore.
Aggressive.
I understand the point this exasperated sign is making. Thing is, it uses a lot of words. A more succinct message would probably cut down on the number of people with “lame comments or questions.”
The only reason it’s so quiet is that we don’t have the energy yet.
It’s a good thing we usually feel a little better by the time our grumpy mumbles have time to germinate into actual words.
I don’t know if this will convince people to do the right thing, but it’ll definitely make them wish they had this dog.
It’s OK. Just remember that a dog doesn’t have to be literally the best boy to still be a very good boy.
I guess I have to admit that this is a pretty convincing argument not to trespass.
After all all, it really appeals to our sense of empathy. All that hard work must be really exhausting.
Yup, that’s totally the reason.
Even a sign that makes us roll our eyes and groan has its own place in the world.
Because if dad jokes have taught us anything, it only takes a few passes by this thing before we do all that with a smile on our faces.
If there’s any way to guarantee that a solicitor will never knock on your door, this is it.
Finally, somebody found a way to make the sketchy way they word those annoying end user license agreements work for them. And they didn’t take 5,000 words to do it, either.
It’s not often we see a road sign written like someone in the area would actually talk and that’s what makes this one from Norwich, England so special.
All it needs is a “pal” or a “mate” at the end for it to truly feel like a local is riding up front with us.
Well, that’s a bit uncalled for. I’m just trying to handle my business.
Although I guess I can appreciate how grouchy whoever put this up would be if they had to keep cleaning up pee stains because people can’t keep their eyes on their work.
This isn’t the only time I’ve seen this sign, so it must be working fairly well.
A lot of us can just relate to this so hard that we pick up a banana out of solidarity, I guess. Man, life’s really getting weird when we start relating to bananas.
These are just the kind of signs you have to make when you live in an area with a hurricane season.
And considering how hearty people in those areas can be, some businesses do essentially need the sign to fly away before they close.
I feel like I should be more insulted when a sign leads with “hey stupid,” but I kind of love it for some reason.
It really can’t be put any more bluntly than that, and they even threw in a another sign to make it clear why it’s so important to slow down.
Different drinks, different jobs.
This charming ode to low-key substance abuse is something any coffee drinker / wino can appreciate. Drink one to get jittery, drink the other to forget all about the cruel world.
This sign speaks dog.
This sign issues a direct but clear request to dog owners. Since it isn’t the dog’s fault that they’ve been brought there, the sign also offers some encouragement to the doggos. Too bad they can’t read.
Whoa.
I came to this list to have a chuckle over a series of mildly funny signs, not have a full-blown existential crisis about everything I read for the rest of my life.
So is that VR?
This used to be the way to meet people. But in our age of social isolation, the prospect of going to an actual bar to talk to actual people might seem overwhelming.
