Everyone knows that one of the hardest things to do as a new parent is choose your baby name. While many parents have meaningful and thoughtful names picked out for their kids, others want to have their baby names be unique and different. But, sometimes, unique and different isn’t always the best.
Recently, someone asked nurses and midwives to share some information on Reddit.
Reddit user u/Kubanochoerus asked nurses and midwives in the community to share some of the stories where they’ve had to talk new parents out of the name they wanted for their baby. And, wow, some of the stories are just too crazy not to share.
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Imagine being named “Egg.”
“My boyfriend was nearly called ‘Eggbert’… But predominantly ‘Egg’ for short. Glad they decided against it,” someone else said.
One person shared that their boss wanted to name their son “Monster.”
“Boss’s friend named their kid Monster Galileo . Nurse tried to talk them out of it.
Called in child services to talk them out of it. They insisted. Kid goes by Galileo.
Honestly, I kind of like the sound of it for an adult or a performer’s name but guh, being a kid named ‘monster’ has to be rough in school,” one person commented.
Some people just have some strange choices.
“As a med student, I had a patient who wanted to name her child ‘Mudpiles.’ The nurses silently protested and waited a few days. Mom eventually changed her mind,” a commenter wrote.
One person was almost named after a sport by accident.
“Before I was born, my dad wanted to name me ‘Sky’… But he thought that replacing the ‘Y’ with an ‘I’ would be cute. Thank god my mom isn’t stupid or I [could] have been named ‘Ski’,” one Reddit user said.
This one is just…laughable.
“My classmate’s mother was a maternity nurse, and she once had a couple who wanted to name their son ‘Collin,’ but wanted to give him a unique spelling. So they chose to spell it C-O-L-O-N. They tried to name their son Colon — as in, the organ attached to your anus,” someone commented.
If the colors fit, right?
“I lived with a student midwife when I was a student, and the first set of twins she delivered were named ‘Red’ and ‘Blue,'” one person said.
Some parents love NASCAR.
“I tried to tell someone not to name their kid ‘Tarmac.’ They’d recently learned the word from NASCAR,” one Reddit user said.
Phallic names are no good.
“My surname is something that basically means ‘Penis’ in my language, and my dad wanted to name me Elwood if I was a boy. My mom was like, ‘Woody Penis? No way!’ My dad’s second choice was ‘Harry.’ Good thing I’m a girl,” one person added.
Someone should have helped this couple.
“I once had a student named ‘Linoleum.’ Some midwife definitely dropped the ball on that one,” another user said.
Have you ever come across an unusual baby name that could have used a second opinion?
This is awkward.
“My coworker went to school with a girl named ‘Fallopia.’ I feel sorry for her when she’s in biology class and they talk about Fallopian tubes,” one person said.
This is cruel.
“I have a false leg. My parents had to be talked out of calling me ‘Peggy’ by the midwife,” one person said.
Imagine the jokes!
“I was young and stupid in he 80’s when my daughter was born. I really wanted to name her Frisbee. Because I was just certain that Frisbee Lastname was going to be the coolest girl in school. Nothing ever came of my bad idea. My daughters name is Jennifer,” one Reddit user shared.
Welp, maybe he’s destined for fame.
“My kids have a friend in their class called Famous (male),” one person shared.
Oh, no no no.
“my dad is the third, and i would have been the fourth if i was born a dude… he still wanted to name me Reberta Edwina (his female version)… yikes lol,” one shared.
2021 could not get weirder.
“A baby here is named Covid Bryant… not even kidding. Look it up,” one said.
That’s definitely unique.
“I currently work with someone who’s first name is “Imunique”. I don’t think any midwives or nurses were involved with the naming.”
These parents went all out.
“I used to work with youth who needed mental health support. I worked with 2 girls who had the following first names: Nawja (pronounced like nausea), & Cinnamon. I felt terrible for them.”
I guess that’s a no.
“I know a couple whose baby name was rejected by the government of Canada. They wanted to name their son The Reverend. They were told they can’t name the baby with a title.”
