Everyone has a story to tell, but sometimes it’s not theirs to tell.
Drawing inspiration from your real life when you create art is perfectly normal, and some would argue that it’s necessary to “write what you know”. But where do we draw the line?
When are personal stories too personal?
A lot of people think that when your stories involve other people, their explicit permission is required.
There aren’t any hard or fast rules about this in the world of fiction—it’s an etiquette rule.
However, when people aren’t warned that they’re going to be the subject of someone else’s creation, it can feel like a major betrayal of privacy.
This woman has an odd relationship with her sister’s husband.
They dated in high school , long before he married her sister. The relationship apparently ended in circumstances that were “not ideal”, and not only is her relationship with her EX, now brother-in -law, not great, but the whole ordeal has ruined the woman’s relationship with her sister.
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“My sister essentially believes I’m jealous of her for marrying my ‘one who got away’ (he is not that), so our relationship has also suffered as a result.”
Recently, her brother-in-law has been reaching out more, which has made her sister annoyed.
The woman has been trying to make attempts to get along with her ex despite her sister’s disapproval, in the hopes that repairing the relationship with him will help with the family dynamic.
Out of kindness, She agreed to read a book that he had written.
Writers always need people to read their work, right? She thought it would be a chance for them to talk about something positive, while also helping out with his career as an author.
She was feeling good about it—until she read the actual novel.
“The book… is about us.”
The plot of the novel is literally about a man who realizes that he married the wrong sister and becomes obsessed with his ex turned sister-in-law.
“Aspects of the story were deeply unsettling to me personally.”
The book apparently touched on specific things that happened to the woman in high school and after.
“I don’t understand why he would give this to me to read unless he wanted to either creep me out” she writes, “or if he intends to leave my sister and wanted to see if this would open a door.”
She’s torn about how to react.
“People have always used art as a form of cathartic healing. If a stranger handed me this book, I would just say ‘not my taste’ and move on.”
However, she also found certain elements of the book “so skin-crawlingly uncomfortable” that she couldn’t finish it.
“That also said, this is my sister’s husband.”
“I am afraid, based on the past, that if I tell her about this, she will flip out on me and not him” she writes, “and/or if she confronts him, he will also just lie about the whole thing?”
Some people thought that the woman was reading too far into everything.
“Just because he pulled inspiration from a real life event doesn’t mean he has plans to pull a sister switch,” one user wrote, “Asking your sister if she’s aware of the book isn’t an asshole move.”
Others offered advice on more than just this particular situation.
A few people said that involving her sister would just make things worse, but if she’s uncomfortable, she shouldn’t have to force herself to interact with her brother-in-law more than necessary. She can be civil without the two of them being intimately involved in one another’s lives.
Either way, you’ve got to admit that the book is creepy AF.
There’s a difference between drawing upon real events in your life to create a story, and using present events and dynamics as plots, especially when you don’t have a good relationship with the person already.
But part of me’s still like, how does it end?