Some mornings are exceptionally tough to push through. We wake up on the wrong wide of the bed, and from there a whole list of things start to go wrong. When those days come, all we can do is power through them and hope it’s better on the other side.
The people in this list are currently in that ‘powering through them’ phase, as they’re some truly unfortunate people whose day could have started better.
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“Just so you know, a 10-foot pipe does not fit in a Toyota RAV4.”
Noted. I’ll file this under ‘hyper-specific advice I may think I’ll never use one day, but will remember when the time is right and be the hero for knowing this beforehand’. I’m sorry your window had to be sacrificed for me to learn this, but I thank you.
“Was just cleaning my lenses and this happened. It’s going to be a blurry day.”
You’ve got a few temporary fixes for this! Some superglue if you want to be subtle yet strong about it, fixing a wire to the back and welding it if you want to be extra, or just taping it together if you want to tap into your ’90s movie dork character side.
“I dropped my whisky advent calendar while opening door #1. Here is the whisky for Dec. 1st.”
I am truly sorry for your loss and any other losses contained within this box. However, this post did help me learn that there is a whisky advent calendar, and now I’m thinking about treating myself to one. So long as I don’t drop it.
“Decided to make French onion soup today but the onions had other plans.”
The onions have been having other plans. You abandoned them for too long, so they started making their own way. Now you’ve come crawling back after ignoring them and putting them off, they have no obligation to be part of your soup, they want to grow!
“Airline ruined my bag and everything inside it…”
Did they ruin it by throwing it to a pack of wild, rabid dogs to use as a chew toy before tossing it on the plane? Because that’s what it looks like. Maybe ran it through the plane’s get engines a few times?
“Someone forgot this at a bus stop, school starts in an hour.”
That’s a pretty beefy binder, too, you can tell they have every note for every class tucked away in there, which makes the loss even more disastrous. Hopefully, they studied up recently and have a good memory, or they run at the speed of light back to this stop to retrieve it.
“I just ordered a pizza for $20 and the toppings [are] in a separate box. Not on the pizza.”
While bizarre at first glance, someone in the comments did actually have a reasonable explanation for this. “If that’s prosciutto you’re not supposed to bake it. If there is Parmesan cheese and Arugula in there they would have been put on top last anyway. If anything I think they were being considerate in the packing by having the products they put on last in a separate container so they don’t get soggy.”
“Came in this morning to find that someone had left a pot of coffee on the burner over Thanksgiving Weekend.”
“Could have been a lot worse, but it still sucks,” the uploader added afterward. I can only imagine the smell everyone must have walked into the following Monday. Just a wall of hyper-burnt coffee and death, with a little bit of molten glass mixed in.
“So, a mouse got in my engine…”
What is it with rodents and chewing on wires? Why is this something they feel the instinctual urge to do? No element of it can taste good, and the chance of electrocuting themselves is always there. Do they just crave utter chaos and this is the one thing they can contribute towards that goal?
“[Just] got home from work, [I] made sweet potato pies last night for friendsgiving tonight. [My] dog ate both pies.”
While not the intended recipients of these pies, at least you know they were delicious! Not that dogs have the pickiest of pallets, but you’re still getting a five-star review. “Absolutely amazing food, 10/10 would hop the counter and steal again!”
“I’ve had this rubber band ball for six years, carefully preserving its shape by removing one band at a time. I let a colleague borrow it for one day, and she destroyed it.”
If I knowingly did this to someone, ruined something I know they’d been working on for years, I simply wouldn’t return it. I’d leave early. Quit, maybe. Move cities. Move countries. Whatever it would take to never have to face them again.
“I fell off my horse and a jumping cactus caught me. Thanks bud.”
I know that jumping cactus is probably a species of cactus, but the title does make it sound like one brave and valiant cactus lept out of the ground to save you and cushion your fall, only for this to happen.
“NYC sidewalk ingested an AirPod Pro.”
Every day, tens of hundreds of AirPods and other various earbuds are lost to sidewalk cracks, sewer grates, and other road hazards. This can be devastating to the owners, who are now left with no way to distract themselves from their own thoughts as they walk the streets. For just 30¢ a day, you can help—.
“Well [expletive].”
You know when you were a kid and you used to try really hard to prove you had telekinetic powers and move things with your mind? This would be an excellent time for them to kick in, even if it’s a little late.
“I got the crust on my Uncrustables sandwich.”
I get that manufacturer errors happen, but don’t be so bold as to call your product Uncrustables when there is a chance that they could be crustable! You’re just setting yourself and everyone else up for disappointment!
“So I always hide the remote because of the pup, my mom doesn’t…”
Whenever a home gains a new puppy, they should be given a copy of a puppy handling guide that every guest who visits that house must read when they enter for the first time post-puppy introduction. It includes things like what to hide to avoid chewing and how to resist puppy dog eyes.
“Oh, okay.”
This is one of those little things where, if my morning was already off, I would just call it quits after this. I’m not going into work, I’m not going to do anything productive at home. I’m going right back into bed and staying there.
“You are NOT going to believe what happened while you were gone.”
The disjointed section of fencing, him sitting dead center on the coffee table, the surprising array of foam colors surrounding him, he’s had quite the eventful day! He stripped that couch to its bones, which is pretty impressive when you’re not the owner of that couch.
“Dammit.”
Sometimes, that’s all you can really say in response to situations like this. I wouldn’t have blamed you if you said more, given that paint is an absolute nightmare to get out of anything, but if you feel you expressed yourself adequately, then it’s all good.
“And now my bedroom smells like a night club.”
You might as well finish the transformation, right? Turn those lights down low, get a thumping base in there, set up a bar on the side and get people to pay cover before they come in. You’ll be the next hottest club in the city!
