If you’re anything like me, then you will almost constantly be worried about making a complete fool out of yourself in public. From saying the wrong thing to service employees, to remembering all of those cripplingly embarrassing things you said or did in school while you’re trying to sleep, the world is full of possible moments for feelings of embarrassment to materialize.
Across Twitter, there are hordes of anxious people who share in my feelings of red-facedness, and they love nothing more than to tweet about these experiences, with often hilarious results! So, here are 18+ tweets for those of us who are permanently embarrassed!
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I Was Saving Them For Later!
The only thing that I am confused about is what they used as dip? ‘Cause lord knows no one wants to be eating dry McNuggets!
Testing, Testing, 1, 2…
Is there any way to fix this situation once you’ve done something like this? I can’t think of a single way out of this situation.
New Hobbies Are Fun
I think that you could add, “then have a panic attack” to any activity that I ever try and do at the gym.
Pronunciation Hotline
I wished this had existed for when I suddenly needed to say “Otorhinolaryngologist,” I never thought I’d need to say this out loud until it was too late.
The Ultimate Embarrassment
I think at this point you just take off your apron, walk straight out the door to the nearest bar, and then just start slamming tequila until this memory has been sponged from your brain.
The Struggle Is Real
I never even thought about this. I’ll just get my partner to handle all of the math homework, and then bounce in when it’s time to crack on with an English essay! All about that Shakespeare!
*Velcro Tearing*
I can’t see someone with a velcro wallet without thinking of the Steve Carell makeover scene from Crazy Stupid Love.
No Thank You!
Wow, and I thought that things couldn’t get more uncomfortable than saying “You too,” when waiters say, “Enjoy your meal!” However, it is possible.
Wishing For Youth
Everyone tends to forget how much of a pain in the ass being a teenager was. At least as an adult, you can just lounge around and not really care about what people think of you!
Never talking To Uber Drivers
I don’t want to imagine how long that car journey must have been. I think after that you just have to bite the bullet and be like, “Welp, guess I’ll just shut my mouth then, drive on!”
Degree Now Void
I can feel the facepalm through the words. Embarrassing yourself is one thing, but to embarrass yourself in front of children is another thing altogether.
Trouble Sleeping
As far as reasons to not be able to sleep go, this is a pretty good one. I can guarantee now that I’ll be lying awake just shaking my head on my pillow tonight because of this.
Stay Safe Introverts!
Crippling social anxiety can have its benefits during periods of medical pandemics.
Pajama Party!
To be fair, I’m writing this on my couch in sweatpants and an old t-shirt, so any quarantine would be like any other Monday.
Stupid Brain
My brain has never made this connection, but now that I’ve realized they can be sung with the same tune, it’ll be happening a lot.
NYFW
I can safely say that I immediately thought the same thing. Look, Reddit has done more for me in my life than the bloody New York Fashion Week, so it’s not that bad!
Heart-Shaped Box
This is why YouTube scares me. I’m very glad that my sixth-grade drama was regulated to angry diary entries and sad mix tapes.
The Leap Of Faith
And there is never enough in those tiny body wash bottles! How small do they think that the people staying in their hotel are?!
I Feel You, Man
I wonder if the therapist has realized that two of their patients are talking about the same romantic partner.
Conscious Choices
Look, if you want to be a hermit and not drink and not have fun then you do you! Don’t let peer pressure change who you are!
Common Sense
We all lament when someone around us seems to lack basic life knowledge, but would it be so bad to be that person? For like, a day?
The Relationship Ender
Who says it isn’t? If you’re not lucky enough to have a local store, then it’s a road trip with family that will include love, hate, financial distress, meatballs, and the existential crisis that is realizing your car is too small. Jimmy’s going to have to sit on the new sofa all the way home…
I Feel Seen
Why is it that I can bounce a file between my tablet, my PC, to a friend for comment, and then back to my tablet, but every time I need a hard copy of something, every printer in a three mile radius has busted Wi-Fi or is out of ink?
Being Dissed By Your Computer
For things without emotions or general sentiency, computers sure can be awful sassy sometimes!
Tantrum Solidarity
I feel like a lot of the world’s issues could be solved if adults were allowed to vent their frustrations the way kids do, instead of bottling it up.
Scorcese Wannabes
Well, at least you actually are inspiring them to write something other than a mafia movie if you really think about it?
Relax!
Well, by the same right, the boyfriend also probably put effort into what he was wearing, but does he get a compliment? No!
Ding Dong Anxiety Calling!
No matter how far you get in life, your brain will always be there to remind you of every menial embarrassing thing that you have done throughout your entire life.
