If you’re anything like me, one of your minor internet hobbies is scrolling through local housing listings just to see what’s out there. No intent to buy, just curiosity.
Sometimes, that curiosity leads you to an absolutely wild gem of a house, something so out there you can’t believe it’s being sold. Instagram account @zillowgonewild collects bizarre housing listings from Zillow, a real-estate marketplace site, and puts them all in one place for everyone to marvel at. Here’s a list of some of their great finds!
Low profile.
This house is so unassuming from the outside, but as soon as you walk indoors you’re met with, well, a lot. The listing has one moment of calm by showing you a normal-ish living room, them bam! Red bathtub.
A brutalist nightmare.
The pure concrete exterior is enough to make this home unique, but then they extend that aesthetic throughout the entire thing. They try to invite some color with green accents and, um, what looks to be a giant red iron lung, but nothing they do can stop the place from feeling prison-like.
A forest fairy tale.
This one is actually kind of cool. Weird, yeah, no doubt about it, but it’s weird in a whimsical way and not a ‘viscerally upsetting to my very soul’ way. Points removed for the toilet in the middle of the bathroom, though.
I was already impressed by the luxurious architecture present in every room in the house, but then it was somehow made even better by the BLOOD POOL. Next to the blood pool is some of the least patio-furniture looking chairs I’ve ever seen. I kind of love it.
Everything all of time.
You know how minimalist design is really in right now? This is the opposite. This is maximalist living. These people said hey, we have a big house, we should fill every square inch of it with whatever we can get our hands on.
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A watchful guardian.
Another post that starts kind of normal. Regular living room, okay they have a home theater, bougie but not too crazy, then Bumblebee appears. He marks the quick descent into absolute madness this property takes. We were fools not to heed his warning.
A real hole in the wall.
What if your new home was a cave? That’s only partially a joke, as the four bedrooms and four bathrooms mentioned in this listing aren’t actually in the cave, but presumably in the gift shop building that comes with the purchase of the cave.
Something’s not right.
Picture two of this album and I’m already confused. I can’t parse what the layout is supposed to be at all. Where did that pool come from? Are there any walls in this house? Is nothing sacred anymore?
Inside out.
Comparatively, this house is pretty normal. On the inside, anyway, the outside looks like a modern art sculpture that a city installed near a business center that no one can quite grasp the meaning of.
Paint it black.
If the people who made this were hoping to create a house where every single room looks like a punk music venue or a dive bar with all the lights on, they succeeded!
Paint it black, but with class.
If the last house was for DIY punks, this house is for sophisticated goths. It’s not to everyone’s tastes, but you can tell that every design element was deliberate and made with care, so it’s respectable.
Their #1 fan.
Are you a Chiefs fan? You better be if you want to even step foot into this house.
I shudder at the thought of the cost of the custom Chiefs flooring tiles, or custom Chiefs football field paneling, or the custom shower mural of KC Wolf, mascot for the Chiefs. I shudder at the thought of this house in general.
We bought a zoo.
I fear that the inclusion of every piece of taxidermy means that they’ll be staying in the house, and the lucky buyer will get to inherit all of them. I’m sure that’s someone’s dream come true, but personally, it’s my nightmare.
Illusionary design.
When I first saw the photos of the exterior, I really did think it was supposed to be shaped like a turtle with an unfortunately boxy offshoot. But no, it’s just some domes, which is somehow disappointing.
Clashing? What’s that mean?
The thing about this one is that yes, it’s ugly, and yes, it has far too many patterns, but of all the homes features on this list, it somehow feels among the most normal, and that’s really saying something.
Remember that maximalist house from earlier? We’re seeing it again here but in a wildly different flavor. This is pastel farmhouse chic, the other was rich avant-garde extravagance.
An assault on the eyes.
This house wants to make sure that wherever you look, you’re looking at something. Some piece of art, some weird piece of furniture, it has to be something distinct and unique at every turn.
I will admit though, I do love those four-poster beds.
Your new roommate.
The listing never says whether or not this skeleton man is included with the home, but I wouldn’t mind if he was. Sure he’s a little creepy with his standing-in-doorways thing, but he seems more than willing to help with chores!
The world is your canvas.
This was clearly a labor of love from whoever lived here. You can tell that this was all hand painted by someone who wanted to invite beauty and color into their life, which is kind of sweet!
Wait, I just got to the giant man shower, rethinking my stance now.
Bigger on the inside.
Hey, government, I would keep an eye on whoever buys this. That underground section looks like the perfect setting for a real life Saw moment and that worries me.
