Ah, Michaels. The promised land for crafters, DIYers, and school projects.
While customers may love shopping in Michaels (I know I sure do), it isn’t always a walk in the park for employees. TikTok user and Michaels employee @sarasartmistakes decided to share some of her worst customer stories, and boy are they a wild ride.
Welcome to “The Average Michaels Customer” series.
Created by @sarasartmistakes , it’s an incredibly funny TikTok series where Sara, an employee in Michaels’ framing area, documents her weirdest customer interactions. And yes, they are far more horrifying than you’re expecting.
If you’re squeamish about blood, maybe skip this story.
Told you the customers were weird.
“You would not believe the things I have been asked to frame,” she began, in the fourth and most disgusting of her series so far.
Let’s get things rolling.
“HELLO and welcome back to ‘the average Michaels customer has one brain cell’ and it’s about as functional as a fire alarm in a high school bathroom.”
As a frequent Michaels customer, I can confirm this is true.
So far, so good.
“This was my first customer of the day. This lovely woman comes up to my framing counter with a cardboard box, SLAMS it down on the counter, and says, ‘I want this framed,’” Sara said.
Alright, I’m uncomfortable now.
“I really should have known when I heard a SQUELCHING noise that there was not going to be anything good in that box. But for some reason, I had hope,” Sara said in her video.
Absolutely not.
“I open this box to find a painting that she did in her own blood…and a PLACENTA. At this point, I’m shaking, so I just say, ‘Ma’am, that is a BIOHAZARD.’”
This woman had the audacity, huh?
“And she says, ‘Can you frame it or not?’”
Can you imagine thinking that someone could FRAME your placenta? AND BLOOD? I know this isn’t illegal, but boy does it feel like it should be.
Oh, and by the way…
She wanted to do all of that nonsense for her husband. You know, as an anniversary present.
I gotta tell you, if someone offered that to me as a present, I would simply throw it away.
You know what, while we’re here…
Let’s do one more story, shall we?
Welcome back to:
“The average Michaels customer has one brain cell and it’s bouncing around in their head like a GAME OF PINBALL.”
Oh, no.
“Last week, I had a woman come up to me and ask me, ‘Where is your edible oil paint?'” Sara said in this video.
I have some questions, comments, and concerns about this query.
Sara set her straight.
It must have been a shock to the customer to learn that paint is not, in fact, edible! I’m sure there’s edible paint out there, but you are not going to find it at Michaels.
Then, the customer dropped her bombshell.
“And she looks at me and says, ‘Oh crap, I should probably make my kids stop eating it then,'” Sara recounted in her video.
I’m sorry, what? Your children? Were eating oil paint? AND WERE SOMEHOW STILL ALIVE?
Sara’s face speaks for me here.
How would you not immediately starting researching the paint your kids were just inexplicably eating? I’m not a parent, but I feel like that would be something I’d do if my kids were EATING PAINT.
Anyway, if you want more stories…
You should follow Sara on TikTok. She has seven parts to her Michaels customer series as of publishing, and I have no doubt she’ll be sharing more.
The lesson learned here? The customer is almost never right, and they’re almost always weird.