I don’t know much about sports, but I know enough about baseball to know that curveballs are kind of unpredictable. I’ve got that right, right? Did I use the right phrase?
Like I said, I’m totally useless at sports analogies. However, I can confidently tell you that the pictures I’ve compiled here are all just weird and sort of unexpected.
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1. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When life give you floods in your public transit, grab a pool floatie and find a way to get to where you’re going anyway.
I like to imagine that these people all just had pool accessories on hand, like this was part of their regular work day.
2. Well, maybe that’s your problem.
Maybe the problem was that you were parked when you should have been moving. Like, you’re not allowed to park in the middle of the highway, for instance. Or in the middle of the grocery store. Basically in the middle of anything.
3. I’m waking up, I’m surrounded by bones / Got to make my treasure grow / Welcome to my dragon cave, to my dragon cave / Welcome to my dragon cave, to my dragon cave.*
Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh, whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh / I’m a big dragon, a real big dragon.
* To the tune of “Radioactive” by Imagine Dragons
4. Finally, the perfect Halloween costume for the truly submissive person in your life.
I think we all know somebody who only feels good when they’re being walked on by other people. Now, they can take that feeling everywhere and also end up smelling like farts in the meantime.
5. I can joke about a lot of things, but don’t you dare ever joke around about pizza with me.
I realize this isn’t the most important detail, but why in the world would a delivery person show up to your door with the box open?
6. On the plus side, I think we finally solved the crime about the mysterious bandit who’s been stealing all the Whataburger numbers.
I’m Canadian, so I’ve never actually had Whataburger. We just have a weird chicken place called Swiss Chalet. Because apparently, we think that Switzerland has really nailed what chicken should taste like.
7. Grandma is very nervous ever since her last late-night message turned into an awkward 2 A.M. booty call.
The guy showed up, she had knitted him some little woolen booties…it was a whole thing.
8. I have no idea what the rest of the answers to this were, and I don’t think I need them because this is the best possible response.
It’s actually taken us quite a while for Fred to get over his whole biting problem. But he’s doing his best.
9. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.
This is not the kind of thing that you want to see when you’re trying to celebrate somebody’s love on Instagram. Unless you’re into watching other people be miserable publicly…which I kind of am.
10. No, no, these blast points are far too accurate for goblins.
No, only the Uruk-hai are so precise.
Alternately, I could have said something like, “They’re taking the hobbits to Dagobah!” Really, the mash-up quotes basically write themselves.
11. Despite what you see, this is not just a picture of a rug on a tile floor.
Wouldn’t it be kind of funny if it was, though? I kind of just want to start trolling people in these lists from now on by putting in pictures that don’t make any sense and making people feel like idiots for not getting it.
12. I think my brain actually literally stopped working when I read this.
It’s the “no tourist spots” that gets me — as if there are places that aren’t touristy where you can just get free booze and food for you and your kids.
13. Yeah, this strangely passionate man is right. Let’s just treat this chicken like it’s any other student.
Uh…except, maybe invite it to eat lunch outside instead of bringing it to the cafeteria. Things could get awkward if the newbie catches them serving chicken burgers.
14. I’m not sure any of us even know who Frank is, but he must be laughing evilly at the empire he’s built right now.
Although unless the stockers in this store have some next-level dedication, I feel a little sorry for whoever makes the other sauces.
15. Uh…is the person who’s selling this expecting us to look at this package and think, “Wow, what a deal!”?
Come to think of it, are they right? Is this a good price for this many glass eyes? How often must someone break them to need this?
16. It’s comforting to remember that even the biggest celebrities started out as kids who just wanted their lives spiced up.
By the way, this is true of absolutely every celebrity. You aren’t allowed to become famous unless you’re a massive Spice Girls fan. It’s the law.
17. What? You’ve never seen a unicorn perched on a windowsill before?
Come on, everybody knows that unicorns survive only thanks to the kindness of strangers. That explains how this one got a snazzy costume and why there are pretty much no unicorns.
18. We may not know why somebody wanted these wheels in particular, but we can rest easy knowing that somebody’s on the case.
I don’t know if they have any leads on the case, but they definitely surrounded this vehicle with safety poles.
Their work here is done.
19. Demand for the show may have been a lot higher than we thought, but never fear. Jimmy and his pickup truck are on the case.
He’s got a perfect record of not spilling chairs all over the highway. He’s never done it before, but still…
20. If that fish could talk, I bet it would say something like, “Look, buddy, I’m just as surprised to be here as you are.”
Oh, right. It actually might say something about not being able to survive out of water first. Priorities, amirite?
21. Some ducks migrate by flying. Others, while still answering the call of nature, prefer a more civilized way to get to their destination.
It probably says a lot about how bad things are in flocks if this duck thinks public transit is the better way to go.
22. Spending too much money powering your microwave? Just buy stalks of corn in bulk and wait for all the corn to pop organically.
Sure, you may start to have a bit of a locust problem, but the savings are worth it.
23. Things, it turned out, were decidedly un-Gucci.
Honestly, for all I know, this is actually what Gucci clothing is supposed to look like. I would wear this unironically but with a serious case of imposter syndrome.
24. This is like that time that I joined a club for people who don’t write hilarious captions next to pictures they find on the internet.
Because boy, do I love irony. And boy, am I all sorts of hilarious.
