Have you ever heard the admonition “walk a mile in their shoes”?
It serves as a gentle reminder that one can never really know what someone else is going through. One heartbreaking story has brought this into sharp focus.
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Family can be difficult.
Just about everyone has a story of familial woe. From grown kids who don’t make enough time for their aging parents to siblings who can never agree, family dynamics can be a real source of drama.
It gets more complicated with kids.
If they’re your kids, you have a lot of say in their lives. But if they’re not your kids, but rather nieces, nephews or cousins, things get more tricky. You’re family, but you may not be close.
A Redditor shared a poignant story.
On the subreddit r/AmItheAsshole , posters share personal stories to ask if they’re being unreasonable. Commenters can vote “YTA” (you’re the a-hole), “NTA” (not the a-hole), or even “NAH” (no a-holes here), along with adding their two cents.
Redditor u/gecking shared a story.
They start by asking if they’re being an a-hole for being honest with their nephew about where they’ve been. For background, u/gecking is a 27-year-old gay man who first left the family home at the tender age of 16.
He was kicked out.
He says he was kicked out because his sister, who’s ten years older, outed him to his parents. “They completely cut off all contact with me and I didn’t see any of my family up until last year.”
It was a long estrangement.
A decade of no contact was broken last year when u/gecking’s dad passed away and his mom had a change of heart. It sounds like the healing has begun, but it’s still a thorny issue.
He has a nephew.
His nephew was just five when the estrangement began. Now, he’s 16 years old — old enough to ask questions about potentially sensitive topics. That’s just what happened at a recent family party.
They started building a relationship.
u/gecking’s nephew chatted with him for a long time and eventually asked where he’d been all these years. Apparently, no one had ever given him much of an answer. After pressing, u/gecking relented and gave him an answer.
The truth came out.
“I told him I was outed by my sister, but that he must understand that this was a long time ago and that I don’t think she’d do something like that now and that it was just a silly mistake on her part,” he wrote.
Sis didn’t take it well.
She called the next day, accusing her brother of making her out to be homophobic. The conversation ended with an effective ban on u/gecking seeing his nephew again. He was troubled by this, and asked Redditors for their take.
The verdict is in.
This family drama, fresh on the heels of a lengthy estrangement, must sting. But if it’s any consolation, Redditors were basically unanimous: u/gecking is not only not an a-hole, but did nothing wrong here.
It’s an interesting look at family dynamics.
Sometimes, it helps to talk to someone with some distance from the situation, whether they’re a therapist or a random person on the internet. In this case, u/gecking is certifiably not an a-hole.
Let us know what you think in the comments!
