I don’t think I can go a single day on the internet without seeing something that makes my eyes go crossed in confusion. Sometimes, though, it really takes a second to appreciate what the hell I’m looking at before I get it. Honestly, with how weird the world is these days, I’m pretty much willing to believe anything could be real. So who knows — is this the weirdest stuff out there, or is it just Friday?
1. You know what’s weirder than running across this on your Instagram?
Imagine being in the amusement park while it’s going down. I don’t know if my first thought would be “Oh hey, a wild unicorn.” It’d probably be more like “Oh hey, let’s call security.”
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2. Speaking of security, I feel like nothing will ever feel safe again after seeing this.
I mean, how can I sleep at night knowing that somewhere out there, 44 souls are trying to scream their way out of a snowy windshield?
3. What a lucky coincidence that this is the dude in the Mario costume. Or is it…
Plot twist: Beneath this second Mario mask is his real face. It’s another, smaller Mario head. Beneath the costume? A tiny body in a smaller Mario costume. He’s three children in a trench coat.
4. Unless these nails are perfectly posed like this, I don’t know how I’d ever figure out it’s Mario.
Can you imagine watching her type? It’d be like the Super Mario 64 loading screen (aka nightmares for life).
5. A very simple way to keep track of your kid, I guess.
Except…that woman in the top left has the same vertical striped shirt…oh, snap. Soap opera drama incoming!
6. I guess sometimes the only way to scare off a bird is to throw a baby at it?
Either that, or the bird is hauling in to snag itself a baby-shaped snack.
7. Doggo sleeps in the most convenient spot for super easy labeling.
Honestly, I’d do the exact same thing, but I don’t have “narcissist” stenciled on my windows. Not yet, anyway.
Although when it comes to shadows, it doesn’t take much to blow a dog’s mind.
If I could just chill with my shadow all day, I’d finally have a friend.
8. Great. I finally move into a nice neighborhood and a week later, the giant insects invade.
Or, I start sleeping in my car in a nice neighborhood and there’s a grasshopper on my windshield.
9. Somehow I doubt that these dudes are in flavor country right now.
The moral of the story here, of course, is “Wash your food before you eat it, not while you eat it.”
10. Well, here we have a tie for “weirdest thing in this picture.”
Is it the fact that this cord works even with 99% of it shredded to pieces, or is it that she can play rock-paper-scissors with three players at once?
11. And here I was worried about a robot apocalypse.
Turns out the machines were trying to warn us about the true enemy plotting against us all along — why do you think autocorrect always has you saying “ducking” in texts?
12. Weird choices, dude. Weird choices.
The nipple “X,” the cross-out of the old tattoo with the new one underneath, I just don’t get it. That’s probably a good thing — if I did get it, I’d be worried.
13. So, your natural habitat is a shag rug, but you’re a potato with fake lashes.
I feel like your actual natural habitat is either underground or a Sephora, right?
14. I guess sometimes you just want the feel of overalls without all that denim.
Or, hear me out: You’re super weird and just want your thong over your shoulders for a minute.
I can’t see a way that wasn’t painful, considering how extreme that wedgie was.
But to be fair, it’s definitely not the worst wedgie I’ve seen on the internet.You’re welcome. Probably.
