Some people in the world love tattoos and others hate them. For some, tattoos are a way to express their creative and fun side while using their body as a canvas. Some people will get just about anything tattooed while others only want things that are meaningful. Personally, I have 13 tattoos and all of them are special, but some were definitely impulsive decisions.
When it comes down to getting tattoos, designs inspired by your family seem to be a popular choice.
Whether it’s a symbol that represents your family or even the names of people in your family, it seems that many individuals like to make a tattoo memorable by selecting a design that’s somehow connected to family.
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However, what happens if you tattoo your niece’s or nephew’s name — without asking their parents first?
One Reddit user recently opened up in the popular r/AmItheAsshole subreddit , asking if she was wrong for being “angry” at her sister-in-law for getting the names of her children tattooed on her arm.
The Reddit user introduced the post by saying that her sister-in-law is a “long-distance” relative, meaning she doesn’t see the children very often.
“She is not a close beloved aunt of my children — they see her once a year and talk to her briefly on holidays. They never talk about her or ask about her between those times. They like her well enough, but she likes to lecture them and attempt to parent them, so a little of her goes a long way,” she wrote.
So, the Reddit user was shocked when she saw that her sister-in-law posted a photo of a new tattoo she had gotten on her arm with the children’s names.
“I think it’s disturbing that my sister-in-law, who has a long-distance, limited relationship with our children, had their names tattooed on her arm. She did not ask us how we felt, just posted a picture on social media once it was done,” she added.
The Reddit user was angry for two reasons. For one, she believes it “glorifies” tattoos.
“I feel like it glorifies tattoos (something neither I [nor] their father have, though this isn’t about tattoos in general — it’s about tattoos of my kids’ names. To each their own on tattoos),” she added to the post.
Secondly, she said she feels it “glorifies” a non-existent relationship between her children and their distanced aunt.
“More importantly, it glorifies her relationship with our kids. She barely knows them, and doesn’t spend time with them when we do visit. On our last visit, she sent our kids to McDonald’s with her friend and didn’t join them. She later used a photo the friend took of my sons eating, and posted it as if she HAD been there,” she said.
The mom said she feels “violated” by her decision and asked her husband to cancel an upcoming trip they had booked to visit his family .
“I was so mad when I saw the tattoo that I told my husband I wanted to cancel our upcoming vacation to see her (and their grandparents). I have been taking my anger out on him, which is probably unfair but I feel his lack of communication with them leads to this kind of crazy,” she ended the post.
Many agreed that the mom was in the right to be angry. However, one person said she “shouldn’t take it out on her husband’s family.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t take it out on your husband and his parents. You can say that you are not comfortable having this woman around your kids, but there is a finite number of times your kids will be able to see their grandparents,” one person wrote.
A number of Reddit users criticized this mom’s post and response, especially for saying that she was considering canceling the upcoming family visit.
“Like yeah, it’s definitely weird. But it doesn’t affect [OP] at all. Seems like a severe overreaction to force their kids to not see their grandparents because someone got a tattoo of a name you didn’t like,” one person wrote.
Many people agreed that the situation was “weird,” but said that the SIL didn’t intentionally offend or harm anyone.
“It’s weird she’s tattooing the names of people she’s not super close to on her body, but ultimately it doesn’t hurt anyone,” one person said.
Reddit users said the mom was right to feel “weird” about what happened, but that her response was extreme.
“Yes, it is very weird that your SIL has tattooed these things. It’s far more weird than flattering. You have every right to feel it’s weird. But, threatening action against it (such as canceling a vacation) is leaning towards YTA [you’re the asshole],” another person said.
The mom did provide an update on the situation after her post received over 1,800 comments.
The mom said, ” I didn’t cancel the vacation and won’t. It just makes me want to not see her,” in response to numerous people in the comments who criticized her for potentially canceling her trip.
However, many said the mom was “overreacting,” too.
“You’re severely overreacting. People can do what they want [to] their body. Who gives a shit? It doesn’t affect you. And threatening to stop your kids [from seeing] their grandparents because of what someone WHOSE [ sic ] NOT THEM did? Get over yourself,” one person wrote.
Overall, many people agreed that the SIL’s tattoo was an odd choice, but said that this mom could have handled the situation better.
While many users agreed they would have also questioned the SIL’s tattoo choice if they were in the same situation, a number of commenters encouraged this mom to show her SIL some kindness. Users said to try reaching out to her before making a big decision like canceling family trips in the future.
What do you think, is it wrong to get someone else’s children’s names tattooed without permission?
