We’re only human, and sometimes humans do weird as heck stuff in the privacy of their own homes when they think that no one else is watching. Most of these things aren’t even bad—just weird and easy to misinterpret.
While a lot of us have been caught in the middle of ‘the act’ by a parent or roommate, some of us have been walked in on while we were doing…um, stranger things. And no, I don’t mean binging the show.
The weirdos of the internet recently took to Reddit to share the oddest things they’ve ever been caught doing, and to be honest, I feel much better about all the weird stuff I do after reading these.
Breaking Wind
“In third grade, I went to the bathroom, and thinking I was alone, put my hands against the wall, leaned forward, and let out a long gigantic fart,” this guy writes, “Afterwards I let out a nice big sigh of relief and pleasure. I turn around that some other kids had come in as I was releasing that massive fart. Did not look them in the eyes as I left.”
Mouth Watering
“I picked up a pizza, was super excited to eat it, so I put it in the passenger seat and said something along the lines of ‘I’m gonna take you home and f*** you up!’ hyping myself and the pizza up of course.”
This person then shared, “I then saw that my window, and the window of the next car was open. A woman watched and heard me talk dirty to a pizza.”
Stairy Stuff
“Running in on all fours up the stairs in underwear,” this guy shares, “Didn’t realize my best friend had already come over, and I ran into him at dick level.”
Anyway Here’s Wonderwall
“I was once caught by an ex-girlfriend playing her cat like a banjo,” this person writes, “I had both Slushy’s front paws in my hand and was strumming on his tummy, the cat was purring so loud it made her come in to see what was going on, it was a long awkward pause followed by ‘are you playing my cat?'”
The Space Between
“One morning I woke up strangely early. Around 5 or 6, without an alarm,” this person shares, “I was bored and proceeded to lift up my top mattress, and just lay between the bottom and top ones. Mom walked in, EXTREMELY confused. I couldn’t really explain, I didn’t know what I was doing myself.”
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Nocturnal Animals
“When I bought my first pair of night vision goggles, I had them delivered to the TV station I worked at,” this man shares.
“So, I took a break and tried them out in the only truly dark room I could find. The men’s room. A coworker came in, flicked on the lights, and was startled to find me in the middle of the room, blinded by the sudden flash of normal light, brushing my teeth in the pitch dark with night vision goggles.”
FLOORa And Fauna
“Sitting on the floor of my kitchen with the lights turned off while making Mac and cheese,” this woman writes, “It doesn’t help that the roommate who caught me is the one who would always find me sitting on the floor eating animal crackers or cereal out of the box.”
Baby Got Back
“Popping my friend’s back by picking him up from behind and bouncing him repeatedly,” this person writes, “A teacher walked into the room and we all froze.”
Crying Over Spilled Milk
“I once dropped a full liter of milk on the kitchen island and it made me give up and just lay down below the milk waterfall that was created and just drink it,” one person shares, “This happened at 3 am and mother witnessed it as she was also awake and thirsty.”
The Doghouse
“I wanted to try to drink like a dog. I put a bowl on the floor and filled it with Fanta,” this guy shares, “My dad walked into my room where I was kneeling on the floor with my tongue in the bowl. He has never mentioned it since.”
Step On A Crack
“I was trying to get my neck to crack because it was tight. I was turning it quick to the side and saying ‘crack, crack dammit’ as I was doing it for probably ten seconds or so,” this guy writes, “To a bystander I was just making awkward head movements and professing my love for crack.”
The Birth Of Eve
“Trying to pry ribs off a roadkill deer carcass,” this person shares, “For context, I’m a bone collector. Most of my collection comes from oddity shops, but sometimes you just find a really good opportunity on the side of a highway. I never did get those ribs, though. I was so embarrassed I immediately drove off.”
Hairy Styles
“When I was like 13, I had my two friends (female) showing me (male) on my stomach what a ‘happy trail’ was,” this guy writes.
“Their dad walked into the room with me having me shirt pulled up and the two girls touching my trail. Was really awkward cause up to that point I’m pretty sure he thought I was gay.”
Dicktionary
“When I was around 10 years old I was getting curious about sex so I decided to look it up in the dictionary,” one woman writes.
“Wouldn’t you know it my ultra conservative mother walks in the room so I try to play it off like I was looking up the Heida Native American tribe. She called me out for being in the S’s but I doubled down and pretended I was possibly dyslexic. What a tangled web I wove.”
Nailed It
“My grandma was once caught by a UPS delivery guy in the process of biting her toenails,” this man writes, “She was in the sun room with the screen door open, and the guy walked up to the door and witnessed that.”
I’m A Little Tea Pot
“Sort of absent-mindedly blowing on a kettle to cool it down before pouring the water over the coffee,” this man shares, “My wife thought that was pretty funny.”
Green Thumb
“Having an argument with my houseplants about their watering schedules,” this woman writes, “They had their own voices too.”
Dancing On The Ceiling
“Mopping the ceiling in the women’s bathroom,” this man shares, “Yeah, don’t really have a good explanation for that.”
Brush Up
“One of my old roommates walked in on me singing naked into a hairbrush once,” one user writes, “So that was pretty awkward.”
Kneading
“I was a server once and we have ranch in bags and it just seemed satisfying to squish so I started doing it the way cats do it with their paws against something, I don’t know how else to explain it,” this person shares, “It felt nice and I looked to my left of me and saw my manager look at me doing it and after that I walked away and no regrets honestly.”
Use Your Head
“I hopped out the shower one day and was inexplicably overcome with the desire to see if I could balance upside down on my head. I use to do it all the time growing up. Guess I wanted to know if I still had it,” one person shares, “Out of no where my mother and ex gf burst into my room and get a face full of me upside down, naked in what can only be described as a reverse T stance.”
Life-Size
“When I was little I had a doll that was human size,” this person writes, “I pretend that we dated and one day my mom caught me kissing passionately the doll. She just left the room laughing.”
Something Fishey
“Worked in a meat department, was unpacking the fish delivery (whole trout) and picked up two and ‘made them have a conversation’ like puppets, weird voices and all,” this guy writes, “The boss was standing outside the clear plastic curtain and I made eye contact with him.”
Yer A Wizard Harry
“I was prolly 14 or 15 and I thought I was alone in the kitchen making food and I decided to pretend to cast spells with my hands and was getting REAL into it,” this person writes, “My sister came around the corner and just gave me an ‘you alright mate’ look.”
Nine Lives
“When I was little I got caught carrying kittens in my mouth like a mama cat,” this woman shares, “Not my proudest moment.”
Edgar Allen No
“I was caught serenading a raven with an improvised song. Mr. Raven~ Oh Mr. Raven, you’re no craven~ You’re a staaaar,” this guy writes, “And then out of the corner of my eye I saw a coworker approaching. I don’t know how they reacted because I avoided eye contact and rushed inside.”
Poster Child
“Someone had put up a poster at work with packing tape. It was fairly smooth but had a bunch of air bubbles,” one person writes, “I tend to sing to myself and also had been carrying a small buck knife that day (for work). Without thinking I whipped out the knife and started methodically slicing out the bubbles while quietly humming.”
A Bug’s Life
“I once found my wife’s cousin squatting in the kitchen at 2 AM asked what she was doing and she replied ‘smashing imaginary bugs,'” this guy shares, “Slowly backed out and never spoke of it again.”
Squirrley
“I was in standstill traffic and I had a baby squirrel that I was hand rearing in my car,” this man shares, “I fed it some puppy milk formula from a bottle, looked up and realized I had an audience of about twenty people gawking at me.”
h/t: Ask Reddit
