Let’s face it, the holidays were a lot more fun when we were growing up. We got a bunch of days off from school, we could stuff our faces with junk food, and we finally got those coveted presents we had been waiting on for months.
That’s not to say the holidays can’t still have some magic for adults, but we get a much better sense of how much effort and stress went into making our childhood joys happen.
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So if that pressure threatens to make us a little grumpier than we’d like to be this Christmas, one comedian and mom has us covered.
By this point, most of us are pretty familiar with the Elf on the Shelf.
Whether the kids are told that he’s one of Santa’s spies to make sure they behave well or just an agent of holiday fun, the point is that they’ll wake up to find him in a wacky situation like this.
But when the Christmas rush is getting too much, it can be a little tempting to take it out on the elf.
And unless somebody’s got the type of kid that can appreciate the elf getting vaporized by Thanos, it’s only going to add to the stresses if a scene like this makes them start crying.
Instead, comedian Dena Blizzard has a solution to help anxious parents mellow down easy.
It’s called Shiraz on the Shelf, and although this grown-up version of the tradition doesn’t involve elves, it works in a similar way.
Especially the part where it’s an agent of holiday fun.
Much like with the elf, you just place the special wine glass somewhere around the house at night.
By morning, a magical wine fairy (who should be of legal drinking age) will fill the glass and the parent will finally have a chance to relax.
Of course, it’ll likely be greatly appreciated if you’re somebody else’s magical wine fairy.
Just be careful not to hide the glass too well if you are the one filling it.
You know that wild rush to the presents that kids do on Christmas morning? It can be a lot more destructive when a grown-up is doing it.
The Shiraz on the Shelf package doesn’t come with wine, but the glass does come with colorful booklet.
The booklet is an illustrated version of the classic Christmas poem with a saucier twist that fits an adult’s take on the spirit of the season.
I don’t know how many people have had to deal with that message in the background, but the rest of this should look familiar.
The poem is best experienced for yourself, but it’s full of relatable stuff like being the only one up finishing up Christmas preparations.
And it also has an encouraging, if kind of vulgar message for any moms comparing their holiday plans to the so-called “perfect moms.”
So now that you know what comes in the kit, it’s up to you whether this sounds like your jam.
If it does, Shiraz on the Shelf is available on Dena’s website, One Funny Mother .
As she puts it, “Wine not included, but highly encouraged.”
