Buying a new house can be a daunting experience. However, with the help of a good real estate agent, the process can be simple, stress-free, and good value (this is obviously a lie but just try and move passed it for the sake of the narrative flow okay?). Although, life isn’t always easy for those in the housing industry. Tenants can leave a wide variety of presents for the likes of new buyers and real estate agents, some of which will give you nightmares.
One person took to Reddit to find out some of the most horrific and unsettling experiences that real estate agents have experienced, by asking, “Real Estate Agents of Reddit, what is the creepiest, strangest, or most unnerving experience you’ve had with a property or a client?”
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What follows are some of the most eye-wateringly unpleasant stories that people had to share, that will leave you feeling sorry for real estate agents everywhere! Well, you won’t really feel sorry for them, but the stories are still good! (Please be aware that some of these stories contain graphic imagery, so please read with caution).
Finding A Dead Body
“I found a dead body when I worked for a property management company. It was in the basement of a 3 unit apartment building by the furnace. I was in the basement to take pictures and find out what work needed to be done.
“The place smelled weird like it had this sweet rotting smell but it was not like the death decomposition smell. I shined my flashlight around and I saw something really strange on top of a pile of old clothes near the furnace. It was a dead body which was all dried up and shrunken in a mummified condition. I ran out of there and called the police.” — m_jansen
They apparently called the police, who found drug paraphernalia in the house and concluded that the person had overdosed. I imagine that this person didn’t forget this quickly.
Poop In The Bath
“Looking for fixer-uppers. Go into a house, notice a few smashed windows. Looking around, notice some fast-food wrappers, luckily the squatter isn’t home. See a smashed a can of paint and someone painted the tile floors and kitchen appliances, nice. Then, what got me to nope the f*ck out was the big maggoty turd in the bathtub. See ya!
“Actually, not sure if it was a turd, but it was dark and writhing, (electric was out).” — LaserBeamsCattleProd
The phrase “writhing” should never be used in any sentence relating to fecal matter.
Satanic Symbols
“My parents were their own agents when they bought the house I lived in most of my time growing up. The room that became my sister’s room had glow in the dark paint satanic symbols and this creepy ass clown on the walls.” — YoHeadAsplode
Thankfully they were hoping to raise their young baby girl to be a satanic clown so it all worked out perfectly in the end!
Tenants Flooding The Flat
“Aunt is a Real Estate Agent, she told me about this house. She calls it Hell House. Tenant moved out, she hires a group of people to come clean it. Five minutes after they get there, my Aunt gets a phone call. No, NOPE, absolutely not, they won’t do it, find someone else. […] This house was a 4br, with an inlaw suite and two separate basements. 3 bathrooms. Upon entering the kitchen and turning on the light, water began pouring from the light fixture in the ceiling. Gallons and gallons.
“They decide to go and see if water has been left on upstairs somewhere. (A side note, the water just gets transferred back to the owner when a tenant moves out, so it’s never off.) Sure enough, the bathtub and sink were both on, and the floor has been underwater for so long it’s spongy to the touch. She ended up having hazmat come and clean up, and the house was condemned. When the floor came down, asbestos was absolutely everywhere.” — berthejew
They wrote that what they found most heartbreaking was that the they had seen the house prior to the destruction, and it was apparently beautiful.
Keeping Kids In Closets
“A family kept their mentally disabled nephew, who they had custody of, locked in a closet. He eventually died and doctors find chicken bones lodged in his throat, he was about 60lb (adult) and had open sores and wounds all over his body. Yes, they’re in prison for a long time.” — vicelordjohn
This one is harrowing. Thank goodness the parents are in prison, there isn’t a sentence long enough for such an act of brutality.
Cemetery Basements
“Were either full or random junk or just had a lot of repairs that needed to be done. A lot of people would destroy the house before banks took it away.
“Anyway, one house we had didn’t seem too bad. Mostly minor repairs in the upstairs, a few containers full of trash, nothing too special. We then proceeded to the basement. Six full-size graves were dug in the basement. All of them looked empty. We decided to get the cops involved. Unfortunately, I wasn’t around to find out the outcome.” — 76ers
This sounds like the house from Arsenic and Old Lace! (Yeah, that’s an obscure reference to a 1940s farcical black comedy, how hipster am I?!)
Suspected Murderer
“I work at an Estate Agents in the UK […] One day a man stood outside the front door beckoning our staff over but not entering the building. When someone opened the door he explained that he was radioactive and that if he touched the door handle then we would more than likely contract cancer.
“He then sat with our staff to book a viewing of a property to let, making several off jokes about being alone with our (all female) lettings personnel. Lastly, he gave his name as Mr. Herring. For info, Mr. Kipper was the name given when Susie Lamplugh was abducted during a viewing of a property. Further, our office is within 10 miles of where she is suspected to have been buried.
“Obviously, none of the staff in our lettings or sales department wanted to show this man around any properties […] I volunteered as the largest person in the office, but we agreed that I would send text messages to my colleagues every ten minutes so they knew I was okay.” — Dr_Mantis_T_Boggan
Thankfully, she wrote that the man turned out to be a lovely man who was just a bit socially awkward and happened to have a similar name. I can’t say I’d have been quick to volunteer to show him around though!
The Tell-Tale Tennant
“This is from my dad. He was showing around a house to some people who were going to fix up the house some and eventually put it on the market later. Well, he is going through it and everything seems alright when he gets into the living room and stops […] The guys that came with him just stare at him and scratch their heads. He looks at one of them and says ‘you need to look into this room. Something doesn’t feel right.’ So renovating starts in that room and when they pull up the carpet they could smell something awful.
“They then pull off the floorboards to find the remains of one of the previous owners underneath the floorboards in the living room right where my dad was standing.” — ravioli_daberoni
Apparently the previous owner had been missing for years. It also sounds like their dad has a bizarrely specific ability to locate dead bodies by standing over them — the worst x-men ability ever.
Dollhouse Tea-party
“On a rental inspection, I once found a formal dining room set up for a tea party and china dolls were sitting in the chairs. I mean the dolls creep me out normally, but them all being set up, freaked me out.” — erinissa
I know they don’t specify what kind of dolls they are, but in my head, they are those old fashioned dolls with porcelain heads. Everyone knows that those dolls are the spawn of demons.
Dead Cats
“Viewing a giant vacant building with 4+ floors on a torrential downpour of a day, holes throughout the ceiling, water pouring through the place. There were giant holes throughout the floors and feral cats that’d jump out when you stumbled into their area. Squatters had been in and out at times, there were random dolls, toys, trash and the like. The petrified cat on the top floor really set it off though. We didn’t make an offer.” — guest123420
A petrified cat can really put a downer on a potential home. A friend of mine in uni was renting a house and found a petrified cat in the shed at the end of his garden. It was a tough call to the people who owned the cat when we got the collar off!
Strange Showers
“I was looking at condos, and someone re-did the bathroom to convert it into a prison-style shower with about 12 shower heads and space for at least 6 people…” — ooo-ooo-oooyea
You know what, I really don’t think that I need to know the answer behind this one. I think everyone can just move straight passed this without dwelling on it for too long.
Garbage Everywhere
“Funniest I’ve seen was renters who were pissed that grandma they were renting from was selling decided to make the house as un-sellable as they could. Dog doo on floors, garbage everywhere, and a big sign with a woman holding up her middle finger with the words ‘f*ck housework’.
“By the way, you never forget the smell of a foreclosed home. It’s mold, urine, cat pee and garbage.” — realtorlady
“Mold, urine, cat pee and garbage” sounds like the best punk album of all time. Also, it sounds like a nightmare to deal with in reality!
Taxidermy Animals
“My wife was a realtor. The creepiest experience was showing a house where the owner was a hunter; the house was filled with taxidermied animals, every room. The creepiest was a taxidermied chimpanzee standing. I don’t recall whether she said that house sold or not.” — NWBoomer
Phalluses Everywhere!
“Coworker shows up to get an appraisal [on a trailer] and to take pictures. She walks in and the house is filled dick paraphernalia. It looked like a museum just for dicks. She said there were wood carvings of dicks, pictures of dudes with dicks out, a statue of Elvis with his dick out, and so on. There were dicks EVERYWHERE! Upon inspection, she found out the house was infested with bed bugs.
“Some time into trying to get the house on the market, and many rounds of bed bug extermination, the owner becomes sick and decides to hold a yard sale to help cover some of the hospital fees. The realtor is trying to dissuade him to do so because they were already going on round 3 of bed bug extermination and also that nobody wanted that many dicks. The owner was insistent so they have one. Lo and behold, they sold everything! Dicks and all.” — Mommasaur
Never underestimate people’s willingness to buy creepy and weird stuff at yard sales! You can sell pretty much anything at a yard sale for the right price.
Secret Freezers
“Definitely not the creepiest, but I (property manager) refuse to inspect one of my tenants homes by myself. I just don’t like the guy. […] He has a giant freezer under the house he doesn’t like me going near.
“[Also,] he disconnected the included washer and drier machines when he moved in? Not only that, but he moved them each into the centre of the bathroom, so they cover the drain. I asked him why, and he replied, ‘It’s just better that way. For everyone.’ I don’t ask many questions anymore.” — PM-ME-ROAST-BEEF
Maybe he’s just really into his Feng Shui — oh, and giant mystery freezers, them too.
Houses Bursting Into Flames
“This happened to the realtor who was showing a neighbor’s home. About a week after Independence Day a couple of neighborhood boys detonated leftover firecrackers. They didn’t want to be seen so they hid in the dried grasses about 50 yards from the development — dried grasses. What could possibly go wrong? […]
“The house two doors down from ours was on the market. The realtor was showing it to a prospective buyer when the firecrackers detonated, followed by a smoky odor, followed by a collective ‘oh sh*t’. Everyone on the block grabbed a garden hose immediately. Most sprayed water on the roof, then ran down to put out the blaze. It was quite effective: the brush fire was out before the fire department arrived.
“That house which was up for sale, though, was one of the few two-story homes so the garden hose couldn’t spray the roof. So when the realtor finished his part putting out the blaze he breathed a sigh of relief and turned around to discover the roof was on fire. The entire second floor was gutted before the fire department got it under control.” — doublestitch
Foot Fetish
“I was doing a viewing on a brand new property, so asked the applicant to take their shoes off before going in (pretty standard stuff) and I have taken my shoes off too. The guy stares at my feet the entire time, walking around the property he just doesn’t take his eyes off my bare feet. I was so paranoid that I’d stood in something, but no, he was just weird. What makes it worse, he had a second viewing but brought his wife; he did the exact same thing. His wife caught him staring at my feet and hit him while I stood there awkwardly pretending not to notice. The entire situation was pretty weird really” — PrincessMa
So, if you’re thinking of selling a house, please use this list as a “what not to do when selling your house” checklist!
The Shining
“My grandpa owned some condos that my dad and uncles would fix up between residents […] One of his first condos he bought cheap, probably due to the sheer amount of work it took to make it liveable and rentable again. It had been a total flop house, complete with an eroded bath tub, a bedroom spray painted matte black, and a bathroom door that had been splintered into oblivion by some kind of trauma (think Shelley Duvall on the inside screaming kind of bathroom door).
“As a kid helping out, I took most of this in stride because I didn’t understand drugs. I was more fascinated by the beer can that had been pressed in its entirety through the drywall, and the closed pantry door still impaled by a broom handle, which had been driven through the door with so much force that it had left a hole in the pantry’s back wall. Drug addicted tenants are a trip.” — Figms
It is never a good thing whenever a house is compared to a scene from the Shining. Imagine your opening pitch being, “Well, have you seen the Shining?” Every buyer would just walk out immediately.
Doors Kicked In
“My mother does appraisals on mostly vacant HUD homes and I’ve gone with her on several trips. A lot of these vacant homes are in very run-down areas and sometimes the doors will be kicked in or just unlocked, so it was always creepy going into these houses since you don’t know if there are junkies or squatters inside. Sometimes we would find needles. There were also times where we would find these creepy ‘bedrooms’ down in these dingy basements with weird writings scrawled on the walls and sh*t. Some really weird stuff man…” — willywonky1
Blood On The Doors
“The owners had a morbidly obese druggie daughter who lived down there and apparent beat the mother once so they put locks in case she had another episode. […] she shat on the floor next to her bed for days, on the last night she kicked shit up and trashed the place this resulted in the father going down to yell at her where she grabbed a knife and chased him but he got up the stairs and locked the door before she could get to him. She then tried stabbing the door […]
“There is a reason hilted knives are used for stabbing and kitchen knives for slicing. If you stab hard with a nonhilted knife your hand slides down the handle and your fingers then get sliced on the blade. I saw this injury when I volunteered at a hospital and I’m still squeamish around large knives. This is why there was blood on the door.” — suitology
There have been one too many stories about people stabbing doors in this list for my liking! And there’s a sentence that I never thought I would have to write down!
