Parenting has to be a partnership . It requires both mothers and fathers to be willing to step up to the plate and share the load. Otherwise, the entire house of cards is liable to come crashing down .
This is what Reddit user 71910sj101 recently tried to convey to her husband after she asked him to take a more active role with the kids. When he chose to ignore her request, she decided to take a 4-day long vacation .
Reddit user 71910sj101 begins her post by explaining that she and her husband have been together for more than eight years.
The couple is recently married and shares a 4-year-old son as well. She begins by saying that “For the past 3 years I have worked from home (such a god send), 12 hour[sic] shifts 4 days a week.”
Her husband, on the other hand, works nights and usually doesn’t get off work until 1 AM. Once he arrives home, he’ll often stay up until 3-4 AM in order to unwind and then sleep all day until he has to go back to work.
71910sj101 says that their opposite schedules often create a struggle.
“On his days off he spends that with me and our son, obviously, but I have noticed that as time goes on, he does less and less around the house,” she explained.
Her husband no longer cooked dinner on his days off and he even stopped tending to their son’s basic needs. “Now he doesn’t[sic] make dinner at all,” 71910sj101 said. He falls asleep on the couch by 7 so I have son duty 24/7 and hasn’t[sic] lifted a finger to clean in weeks.”
Because of this, 71910sj101 was forced to use her three days off a week deep-cleaning her entire house — by herself.
After a while, the workload became too much to bear and 71910sj101 finally asked her husband for help. “He happily obliged for all of 30 minutes before taking off to go help a buddy with his car and didn’t[sic] do jack squat after returning home because he was tired,” she explained.
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It was at this moment that 71910sj101 realized she needed to take a much-needed and well-deserved break.
“His way of comforting me was by hugging me and saying “You’re doing such a good job”. Didn’t offer to help or anything,” 71910sj101 lamented.
Realizing that there was nothing she could say to make her husband understand her feelings, she decided to hatch a plan.
She said that she “Asked my mom to take my son for 4 days and planned a vacation for myself with work. I dropped my son off yesterday with my mom (i only did this because my husband obviously works) and took off to our cabin 58 miles away to relax.”
After a while, the husband began to wonder where 71910sj101 had gone.
“My husband started texting me last night asking where I was,” 71910sj101 said. “I told him the cabin . He asked where our son was so I told him.”
Her husband then began berating her for what he deemed to be selfish behavior. He texted her saying that her communication on the issue had been abysmal and that if he’d realized how serious she was about needing help — he would’ve done more.
Not only that, but he chastised her for going to the cottage without him, claiming that he too could’ve used a vacation.
“But the thing is, I straight out told him I needed a break,” 71910sj101 reasoned. “I asked him for help. He disregarded it all.”
Even after her husband was blatantly insensitive to her needs, 71910sj101 was still willing to keep an open mind. Which is why she posted her discussion on Reddit and posed the very serious question to the community — “Am I the [expletive]?”
Overwhelmingly, the Reddit community at large supported her decision.
“I’m so sick and tired of people saying OP sucks too for not communicating but who tells her what needs to be done around the house or how to take care of a child,” writes Reddit user ToTwoTooToo. “Does husband not have eyes? Can he not see what needs to be cleaned, tidied or cooked?
What do you think; was 71910sj101 in the right for taking a vacation or should she have communicated her feeling better? Leave a comment and let us know!
