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Mom Tells Grandparents ‘To Do Better’ When It Comes To Respecting Children’s Consent

by Lex Gabrielle
4 years ago
in People & Society
Reading Time: 5 mins read
A A
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A lot of conversation has been coming up on social media about children and boundaries. Many social media users have been talking about how they teach their children about “consent” and control over their own bodies.

Some believe it’s very important to teach these lessons early on.

Image credit: Unsplash | Bethany Beck
Unsplash | Bethany Beck

And, this includes teaching children that even with family, they have control over who they do and do not have to hug, kiss, or touch.

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One mom who recently spoke out about this topic is Brittany Baxter.

Image credit: TikTok l @brittanybaxter_x
TikTok l @brittanybaxter_x

The mom behind the TikTok account @brittanybaxter_x spoke out in a video about why she doesn’t let her daughter’s grandparents hug and kiss her daughter whenever they want.

She said that kids don’t “have to” hug and kiss adults.

Image credit: TikTok l @brittanybaxter_x
TikTok l @brittanybaxter_x

The mom said we should “normalize” the fact that even children should have a say in who they hug and kiss, even when it comes to family.

Brittany also said that it’s unhelpful when these adults then complain about asking for consent.

Image credit: TikTok l @brittanybaxter_x
TikTok l @brittanybaxter_x

She said that adults have to stop correlating “hugs and kisses” from kids with whether or not the child “loves” them and claiming their feelings are hurt. She says it is overstepping the child’s body boundaries.

She said the ideology behind this response from family members is horrid.

Image credit: TikTok l @brittanybaxter_x
TikTok l @brittanybaxter_x

The mom said that her daughter and her body do not exist to “make anyone feel more comfortable and to make anyone feel more loved.”

She said it’s the older generation’s fault.

Image credit: TikTok l @brittanybaxter_x
TikTok l @brittanybaxter_x

Brittney claims that the older generation did not learn to regulate their emotions and feelings so consent, “continues to be overlooked.”

Brittany says that “no one’s feelings” are more important than her daughter’s rights over her body.

Image credit: TikTok l @brittanybaxter_x
TikTok l @brittanybaxter_x

Brittney wants her daughter to learn how to say “no” and to also learn what it looks like for her “no” to be respected, so in the future, she knows.

After her video went viral, some people asked Brittany some questions.

Image credit: TikTok l @brittanybaxter_x
TikTok l @brittanybaxter_x

Some people were curious how Brittney handles and responds when grandparents overstep with children, as not everyone is good with confrontation.

The mom said that people’s discomfort is not a parent’s burden to bear.

Image credit: TikTok l @brittanybaxter_x
TikTok l @brittanybaxter_x

While many grandparents and other relatives may feel “unloved” because a child says they do not want to hug or kiss them, Brittney says that it’s not the child or the parent’s problem.

The mom says you can be understanding.

Image credit: TikTok l @brittanybaxter_x
TikTok l @brittanybaxter_x

Parents can say, “I understand that you feel unloved or that this is hard for you,” but, that parents should still stand firm in their boundaries and ask grandparents to respect them.

Many people on TikTok were in agreement.

Image credit: TikTok l @brittanybaxter_x
TikTok l @brittanybaxter_x

One mom said she and her husband are teaching consent and started “asking” for hugs and kisses instead of demanding.

Others said they don’t “understand” why this isn’t natural.

Image credit: TikTok l @brittanybaxter_x
TikTok l @brittanybaxter_x

Others said that they don’t think that a child should be forced and doesn’t understand why parents and grandparents insist on forcing it, especially if the child doesn’t want it.

Another added that though others may disagree, it’s important to teach this to children.

Image credit: TikTok l @brittanybaxter_x
TikTok l @brittanybaxter_x

One person said that it’s a “great lesson” for the kids to learn that even family members do not get “special treatment” to withhold consent.

However, some said that they did not “understand” Brittany’s anger.

Image credit: TikTok l @brittanybaxter_x
TikTok l @brittanybaxter_x

Some TikTok users commented and posted saying that Brittney was coming off “angry” and that grandparent bonding is “very important” in families.

Brittney responded to the backlash with a simple question.

Image credit: TikTok l @brittanybaxter_x
TikTok l @brittanybaxter_x

She asked the people who were against her views if they have, “Ever asked their child if that’s what they really want.” Ultimately, Brittany believes children’s needs and wants trump anything else when it comes to consent over their bodies.

Do you agree with this mom?

Brittany responded to the backlash with a simple question.

Image credit: TikTok l @brittanybaxter_x
TikTok l @brittanybaxter_x

She asked the people who were against her views if they have, “Ever asked their child if that’s what they really want.” Ultimately, Brittany believes children’s needs and wants trump anything else when it comes to consent over their bodies.

Do you agree with this mom?

Tags: People & Society

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