A photographer taking pictures of newlyweds
Unsplash | Chris Ainsworth

SIL Wonders If She Overreacted By Exposing Bride's Racism During Honeymoon

Wedding planning, weddings themselves, and honeymoons have a way of bringing long-simmering family drama to the forefront. This drama isn't fun to experience firsthand, but it's excellent grist for the mill for anyone who appreciates some good drama.

One Redditor shared a recent wedding story, one that begins with a happy ceremony and ends with her sister-in-law getting exposed for being racist.

It's a doozy, so buckle up.

OP apparently ruined her SIL's honeymoon.

Two recliners on a tropical beach
Unsplash | Upgraded Points

For context, OP's family is Middle Eastern, while her SIL is Caucasian.

"[SIL] was looking for a photographer that didn't bankrupt her so I suggested a friend of mine who's new in business and charged less than half because these things cost over €5K these days," wrote OP.

The wedding was fine.

Bride and groom kiss as sparklers are lit overhead
Unsplash | Fábio Alves

Everyone had a good time, the photographer did their job, and all was right with the world. For a day or two, at least.

OP saw a message that her SIL put in an iMessage chat. "[SIL] thanked [the photographer] but had a favor to ask him and wondered ... if he could take me off some photos because I'm too dark and ruined the color palette. Not all pictures. Just the ones [SIL's] in," wrote OP.

"I texted back: are you kidding me?"

Hands typing on a phone
Unsplash | Pradamas Gifarry

OP's SIL didn't reply.

"I took a screenshot and posted it on my Insta story tagging [SIL] in it," wrote OP. "She called my boyfriend crying her eyes out calling me [a jerk] for embarrassing her and ruining her honeymoon."

OP's boyfriend thought it was a 'low blow.'

Man pointing at camera
Unsplash | Adi Goldstein

It's this assessment that gives OP pause, as she doesn't want her partner to think that she's being petty. So she turned the story over to the jury of Reddit to ask whether she was being a jerk or not.

"It is always, always, always appropriate to embarrass a racist."

Protesters with "silence is compliance" sign
Unsplash | Danny Lines

The top comment, with a wild 41,200 upvotes, continues: "And while you're not likely to cure your sister-in-law, perhaps she will think twice before communicating such ugly thoughts in the future."

Virtually all commenters were on the same page.

Bride and groom holding hands
Unsplash | Jeremy Wong Weddings

While OP's actions — publicly calling her SIL out on social media immediately after her wedding — might seem petty in a vacuum, context is everything. The fact that her sister in law made a racist comment was a totally unforced error on her part.

Should OP's boyfriend stand by her?

Couple relaxing on a park bench
Unsplash | Djim Loic

Considering the fact that her boyfriend's reaction was her whole reason for making the post, it's quite relevant here.

"OP should be just as angry at the boyfriend," one commenter pointed out. "It was his responsibility to immediately tell off his sister for this. His reaction is worse than questionable."

Is there a grey area here?

A camera sitting on a table with black and white photographs
Unsplash | NordWood Themes

Some commenters noted that depending on lighting and a photographer's skill level, it can be difficult to work with different complexions. They argue that it's possible that OP's SIL was not being willfully racist.

Nevertheless, virtually every commenter is on the same page.

A photographer taking pictures of newlyweds
Unsplash | Chris Ainsworth

Judging by the fact that the thread has been locked and there are many mod-deleted comments, it seems that things got heated for a time. But overall, the verdict is in: OP is not a jerk for publicly shaming a racist.

Let us know how you would have handled this, and what you think of OP's handling, in the comments section!