gravestone in cemetery
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Family's Hidden Message On Father's Grave Sparks Heated Debate

When a loved one passes away, there are a lot of things that have to be taken care of by their family.

Preparing arrangements and getting things in order can be a very challenging and difficult situation for everyone. There sometimes is little time to mourn and grieve when you have so many things to plan and do. So, many families try their best to keep their loved one's memory alive and keep their persona in the world.

Funeral arrangements can be difficult to put together.

casket with flowers on top at funeral
Unsplash | Mayron Oliveira

Putting together a loved one's funeral can be hard for anyone, especially for a parent or family member. Many people want to honor their loved ones, but also keep things as "real" as possible.

One part of funerals that families struggle with is picking out the gravestone.

gravestone with W.B. Yeats quote
Unsplash | Mark de Jong

As the gravestone stands forever and is what people will read and see when they visit them in the cemetery, trying to figure out the right thing to put on it can be difficult.

Many families try to be funny, as well as meaningful.

cemetery with many gravestones
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Aside from listing that their loved one was a devoted parent, brother, sister, friend, etc., some families want to add some fun and humor to their gravestone. Especially if their loved one was funny and silly.

The idea is to keep them "alive" whenever you see them.

angel headstone in cemetery
Unsplash | Julia Kadel

Going to visit the cemetery is something many individuals do when they lose a loved one. If you can add some of their personality to the gravestone somehow, it might make remembering them even easier.

Not everyone is always in agreement.

cemetery with gravestones
Unsplash | Waldemar Brandt

While families may feel one way, there are many other people who sometimes are involved in funeral arrangements and headstones. For example, the cemetery in which a loved one is buried can sometimes step in.

One family recently has been under fire with a cemetery due to their choice of words on their father's gravestone.

funeral casket being carried
Unsplash | The Good Funeral Guide

Lindsay Owens and her family were trying to find the right words to put on their father, Steven Paul Owens' gravestone when he passed.

They decided to go with a phrase he used often.

Using the words "Forever in our hearts. Until we meet again. Cherished memories. Known as. Our son, brother. Father, papa, uncle. Friend and cousin," the beginning of each word spells out the phrase "F**k Off."

The Owens family said their father "always" used that phrase.

“It was definitely his term of endearment. If he didn’t like you, he didn’t speak to you. It’s just who he was,” his daughter Lindsay Owens told reporters at WIBW news.

However, the cemetery is not happy with the family's gravestone choice.

sunlight through tree in cemetery
Unsplash | Kevin Andre

Staff at the Warren-Powers Cemetery in Polk, Iowa said that the gravestone is offensive and from the beginning, they have been against the family's choice to put it up.

The cemetery staff believes it's crude.

graveyard with white church in corner
Unsplash | Einar Storsul

The staff has said that profanity and that type of language have no place in a person's eternal resting place. They also believe others may be offended by it in their graveyard.

The family completely disagrees.

funeral arrangements at cemetery
Unsplash | Rhodi Lopez

"No one’s forcing anyone to come out and look at it. That’s a choice that you make. We didn’t do it to offend anyone, make anyone mad or hurt anyone’s feelings,” said son Zachary Owens.

As of right now, the gravestone is still up.