There are many different things we tell children and teach them at such a young age. Sometimes we tell them white lies to shade them from pain and hurt. Other times we tell them things to protect them from the real world and how cruel it can be. And, then there are times we tell them things just because.
Some people feel like there are a few messages and things we should just stop doing altogether.
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“They’re just mean because they’re jealous.”
“I think we should stop telling them that “they are only mean to you because they are jealous”. That is rarely the case, but going through life thinking people don’t like you because of jealousy is a recipe to never have to figure out if you are doing something that makes people not like you,” – illini02
That kid’s worries are small.
Other Reddit users shared that it’s not right to tell kids that their worries are “small” or “silly.” It’s not fair to make their problems seem so unimportant and not worth time. Also, others said to stop posting everything about their kids’ worries on social media.
That saying “no” is rude.
“One of my friends has been working with her kids on ‘hear my ‘no” recently and I thought it was so cool. If you want a kid to stop bugging you when you say no, you have to make sure they understand they can say no too and that it’s not a bad thing,” – lizzlondon
That the majority is right.
“That the majority opinion is always right, while the minority opinion is always wrong.
This will just create a conformist who doesn’t think for themselves, but merely follows the popular opinion and kids themselves that it comes from their own thinking.
Teach children to think for themselves and question things,” – Scallywagstv2
That you have to be friends with everyone.
DenverTigerCO shared online that we need to stop teaching kids that they need to like and be friends with everyone. Sometimes, kids think that everyone needs to be their friends and when they’re not, something must be wrong or off. Not everyone is going to be BFFs with you.
That you have to hug and kiss everyone.
“We really need to stop telling kids it’s rude or disrespectful not to hug or kiss people — even relatives — when they don’t want to do it. It sets a really dangerous precedent where if a stranger (or more likely, a friend or family member) begins making inappropriate advances, they will think they cannot refuse them and run to tell someone or they can get in trouble,” – iokheira
That you have to eat everything on your plate.
jennkrn said a bad lesson to teach kids is to finish all of their food on their plate and if you don’t, it’s rude or bad manners. This can sometimes make kids overeat, even when they’re full. Instead, jennkrn suggests teaching them to save their leftovers for the following day.
That everything is “black and white.”
“Stop making things black and white. Don’t tell kids something is wrong just because you said so. Let them see the complexity of issues, let them think and begin to develop their own moral compass,” – highly_caffinated
That adults have it all figured out.
cocaine_is_ok_iguess said that we should stop telling kids that adults have it all figured. out and that we are all happy and perfect. Many adults paint a picture as if they are right and always just, but sometimes adults need to figure things out, too.
That there’s more to life than work.
“One thing that kind of hit me as a teacher is the typical conversation you have with younger kids. ‘What do you want to be when you grow up?’ is such a common question, but feels like it implies that they are the job they do and that’s the most important thing that they will have or do,” – Matt872000
That if they misbehave, the police will come.
“Stop telling them that if they’re bad (misbehaving in public, not breaking laws as an adult) the police will arrest them or take them away. If your child is in danger you want them to look for someone who can help them, such as a police officer, peace officer, etc…,” – Leo009
That they always have to share.
“Stop making them share everything for the sake of sharing. Teach them to set healthy boundaries. Teach them about donations and charity. Teach them sharing in moderation. Teach them why we share. But dammit, stop forcing them to do it all the time because ‘that’s what kids are supposed to do’,”- cutiegirl88
That being wrong is shameful.
Successful-Eye-4100 said that it’s important to stop shaming kids for being wrong in life. Kids will make mistakes and mess up, and we shouldn’t shame them for it. Instead, teaching them growth mindset is important. Let them know they can grow from their mishaps.
That boys pick on girls because they like them.
“That boys/girls are only mean because the have a crush on you, it happened to me when I was a kid, little boy pushed me off and cut off some of my hair (which at the time was so long I could sit on it) my mum told me it was because he had a crush on me and boys will be boys after all,” – panda10015
That everything is pre-decided for them.
“That some things are fun and others aren’t. That some foods are tasty and others are healthy. Let kids decide for themselves what they like. Maybe I would have actually enjoyed broccoli and math earlier than college if I hadn’t been told as I child that I was expected to hate both of them,” – Sandlicker
