I probably don’t need to tell you that dating is incredibly difficult , but here we are. Getting to the first date stage is hard enough, but having to sit through a bad first date is like icing on the failed relationship cake .
And plenty of people have had bad dates for one reason or another. These Redditors shared the automatic deal-breakers they have for first dates , and they’re speaking straight truths.
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“Showing no/barely any interest in me personally. Only talking about themselves and not showing interest when I tell about myself.” – ForgetMeNot01
Another user commented, “100%. When you try to join the ‘conversation’ & they somehow immediately find a way to use what you say to direct it right back to themselves.”
“Bringing their parents. It’s happened…” – rht1004
In response to other commenters asking what the user meant, they clarified that the dude’s parents were just going to… join the date. They also said, “It’s also super weird because he asked pre-date and I said no… good luck to his future dates!”
“A dude once took his socks off while we watched a movie and started using his fingernails to dig stuff out from under his toenails. I was immediately out.” – kittermcgee
If anyone’s willing to do that in public, you can only imagine how unhygienic their home is…
“Choosing my food for me.” – raven_widow
I feel like people do this because they think they’ll come across as dominant and macho. As if those are the kinds of qualities people look for in their potential partners…
“If we’re sharing loaded nachos, and they specifically take all the ones with meat and cheese and stuff, leaving you with just chips. I mean just chips.” – Bing_Bong_the_Archer
“Restaurants should have a rule about that.”
This is why I never share food.
“Spending too much time on their phone.” – Adventurer_By_Trade
Another user added, “I’d ask about it. ‘Anything important going on?’ The answer to that question would determine whether the date continues. Some people have obligations and responsibilities that take priority. Others are just inconsiderate and disrespectful.”
“Pet names. Don’t call me ‘babe,’ we barely know each other.” – danger0us-animals
In general, any kind of “weird” or overly familiar behavior on the first date is definitely very off putting. Like, just calm down and see where things go first.
“He completely out of the blue told me he didn’t believe in birth control.” – pnwpuget
A weird thing to bring up, but probably better to know upfront than before things begin to escalate, I guess.
“If they show up already drunk.” – Jasonabd
Another user shared their story: “I went on a date with a woman I went to high school with a few years ago. She was really nice but she showed up tipsy, chain smoked and kept saying, ‘I love vodka.’ I’ve been involved with several heavy drinkers so there was no second date.”
“When I realize our ethical/moral views differ completely from one another.” – sunnypufferfish
Talking about politics isn’t always easy, but it’s kind of important to determine whether you can live with a person who believes in things you might be fundamentally against.
“When the date sounds like a job interview.” – ami2weird4u
Another user said, “Oh, yeah, I’ve had kind of this. But it was more my income, my prospects, my assets. When my financials met her expectations I was invited back. I ordered an Uber, put her in it, and got another one home.”
“When they’re clearly 20 years older than the pictures they used on the dating app.” – mulans_goat
It really makes you wonder when people do stuff like that. Like, did they not expect to ever go on a physical date with the people they were basically catfishing?
“Asks for a loan.” – SuvenPan
“Long story short met a girl couple of times on public transport. Asked her on a date. We had our date and just before it ends she asked $200 and said will return on the second date. I didn’t give the money and there was no second date.”
“I was on a first date with someone who essentially almost started a fist fight with a guy who cut in front of us in a grocery line.” – Justyncrx
“She confronted the man very aggressively and he of course wanted to come after me because I was with her. I finished the date and never contacted her again.”
“Being too touchy.” – kamidykam
“I’m on the first date to get to know you better, not to let you get all handsy. Makes me super uncomfortable and usually gives off the vibe that they don’t get boundaries.”
“If they don’t dress appropriately for the date.” – squeephish
“So if you’re going hiking and they rock up in high heels it’s a deal breaker for me.”
They went on to say, “A good friend of mine invited a girl on a hiking date and she turned up in kitten heels looking like she was going to a wedding or a restaurant.. so yes, apparently it does happen.”
“Non stop talking about what a ‘nice guy’ they are, but ‘women these days don’t seem to appreciate that.'”
In my experience, anyone who talks about how much of a nice guy they are, usually aren’t that nice to begin with.
“Talking about an ex.” – minsonder
Another user commented, “A mention or two is overlookable imo, but if they’re an entire topic of conversation it’s a red flag.”
Don’t spend an entire date talking to someone about your ex. Just don’t.
“Well about a month ago I made plans to meet up for a date with this girl that I was really getting along with.” – Bluevettes
“Then AFTER the plans were made she calls me and says, ‘Oh yeah, I should probably tell you that I’m engaged and my fiancé will be joining us… but it’s alright, we have an open relationship and he’s bringing his girlfriend too.'”
“Being rude to the staff.” – MephistoTheHater
“Or, a very-common one I’ve noticed, is the words ‘I’m just a blunt/honest person.'”
Any person who’s rude to staff is probably just a miserable person to be around in general. Run while you can!
