One really funny thing about Twitter is the fact that people will say things they’ve been deeply curious about, but dress them up as memes or jokes. I especially love when they pretend to talk to complete strangers (like their Uber driver), because talking to a stranger is sometimes easier than talking to the people you know.
These tweets may not all be 100% serious , but they definitely went places most of us would be too nervous to go.
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Can’t say I’ve never thought about it…
I’ve never had to use one of those slides, but I always secretly thought they looked fun. Probably not so fun when your plane is at risk of catching on fire, of course. Maybe it’s better to leave the emergency equipment where it belongs.
Oddly specific, and yet oddly relatable.
I mean, just because people have thought about it doesn’t mean anyone would do it, right? Because I totally wouldn’t do it. And yet…
The plot twist of the century right here.
To be honest, you hear Sarah McLaughlin’s music in those animal rescue ads all the time, but does anyone know how much she actually likes dogs? Like, a lot? Or just a little?
Uber seat, or therapist’s chair?
I get that it can be tempting to dump your emotional trauma on your Uber driver when you’re half drunk and on your way home from a party at 3am (not speaking from experience), but maybe try therapy out, instead.
Why do commentators say anything, actually.
I’ll have to admit, I don’t know anything about sports. The front of the net? The back of the net? Why don’t we just say, “the net?”
Maybe we should leave this one alone…
Yeah… I’m thinking we should maybe avoid having a Soylent Green situation… (and yes, that reference is much older than I am).
Deep discussions about children’s media. A classic.
Sometimes, I feel like we overthink children’s media. Other times, I feel like we don’t give it enough credit. Either way, maybe don’t involve your poor Uber driver in your late night thoughts.
Not even a question, but still valid.
I appreciate this person’s honesty in how a pizza-throwing competition would actually be a bad idea, even though it sounds really cool on paper. Good thing it was just a weird dream.
I think this might count as a shower thought.
In a way, yes, an egg roll is really similar to a burrito (if that burrito happened to be fried and crispy). But the ingredients are totally different! You’ll never find beans in an egg roll, after all.
Yoda’s speech patterns, I think about.
I’m gonna admit right here and now that I’m not the biggest Star Wars fan out there, but I’m actually kind of curious about this one. What does Yoda think about the way other people speak?
The world needs to know!
I mean, understanding physics as a science is a very human thing. But does that mean that an animal like a crab has no concept of physics and swimming whatsoever?
I don’t think I’m going to be able to sleep tonight. I’ll just be up, thinking about this.
I honestly wish this tweet didn’t exist.
You know what? Why not. Literally nothing about centaurs makes sense anyway, so why not just accept the fact that they have two separate ribcages.
One question that few people will be willing to answer.
I think we as a society give too much of our personal info away online. This is one question that we maybe shouldn’t answer…
Metamorphosis? More like meta-makes-no-sense!
Science has advanced so much in the past few decades alone, and yet I don’t think anyone’s come up with this answer yet. Forget traveling to Mars, we need to know what happens to a butterfly’s memories of its caterpillar stage!
I wish I had an answer for this.
I could try to answer this seriously, but I’m not going to. I’m just going to laugh at the phrase “dolphin milk” for a little while, and then move on.
Speaking of animals that give us milk.
I like to think that ghost cows would say both. Or, like, they’d say “moo” in a way that also kind of sounds like “boo.” Think about it.
Okay, but did it?
This is the kind of thing I’d be embarrassed to do in front of the mirror while completely alone, let alone in front of someone else. But do you, I guess.
You would not believe your eyes…
Sometimes I wonder what animals actually call themselves. Like, all animal names are just words we made up, and they’re all different in other languages. I’m thinking about this way too much, I fear.
I almost don’t want to know the answer.
Actually, I don’t want to know at all. I think maybe that’s the reason why no one really asks this kind of thing for real in public.
*Insert funny SpongeBob joke here.*
To be honest, it would probably be incredibly boring. I don’t really think sea sponges do a whole lot. And they don’t even look like SpongeBob!
