It’s hard to justify procrastination . There are better things we could all be doing with our time . That said, the urge to waste time by looking at funny pics on the internet is universal. It exists inside all of us. So try not to feel guilty. Just give in to the hilarity.
“That’s one way to boost sales.”
This one took me a moment. I was wondering what kind of hat would fit in a foil box. Turns out the answer is a lot of hats, so long as you’re willing to assemble them yourself.
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“Ex cheated. Called off wedding. Day of ‘wedding’ I was sad. My family surprised me with an Anti-Wedding party.”
It isn’t the wedding day she dreamed of, but it’s the wedding day she got — complete with friends, support, cake, and one bullet dodged.
“Just moved in and bought this sign…finally feels like home.”
The only thing that stops me from getting a sign like this is the fact that the neighbors probably wouldn’t vibe with my specific sense of humor. Ehh, maybe I’ll get one anyway.
“Someone at a festival offered me a little bag of Coke.”
This is what your parents warned you about when it comes to music festivals. First, some shadowy stranger gives you this. Next thing you know, you’re onto Pepsi and RC Cola.
“My dad had a small reaction after his root canal today.”
I kind of hope he’s hamming it up for the camera, because if not, that’s a worrying amount of swelling. At least he has a sense of humor about the whole thing.
“Our candy sign from last night.”
On one hand, I don’t want greedy kids clearing out the whole bucket of candy. On the other hand, I can’t be bothered to answer the door fifty times in one night. I guess this is a possible solution.
“Student: You made it hard so I’m gonna make it hard to check.”
It’s a bold move to do this to the teacher who will eventually determine whether you pass or fail, but I admire the nerve. I mean, they did technically provide the answers.
“Having trust issues?”
I realize that modern smartphones are more than capable of doing calculations, but I also have faith in Casio. I mean, the company invented the calculator watch. I don’t really know which one to believe at this point.
“The last word…”
This is definitely funny and seemingly hypocritical. That said, a mortal put this together. If God Himself put it together, I’m sure he wouldn’t have had to make so many revisions. Perhaps He should hire better interns.
“Student handed this in today.”
I wonder if the teacher believed this or not. I mean, in order to actually get a dog to eat your homework, it seems like you’d have to try pretty hard to cover it in treats or whatever.
“Forgot to take my water bottle out of the freezer and this happened.”
I love putting a water bottle in the freezer, then taking it out and letting it melt a little. It creates a nice big ice deposit to keep things cool. This, though, makes me a bit uncomfortable.
“Seen on a jukebox in Dallas…”
Desperate times call for desperate measures. Mariah Carey’s ‘All I Want for Christmas For You’ is a jolly holiday song, sure, but there really need to be some limits placed on how frequently it’s played.
“Mirror Mirror, on the Wall! Kernel Panic, Re-install.”
I love technology. I have a watch, lightbulbs, speakers, and more that all do so much unnecessary ‘smart’ stuff. That said, some devices really don’t need to have computers jammed into them.
“Steve Buscemi as his ‘How do you do, fellow kids?’ character from 30 Rock for Halloween.”
Steve Buscemi is a national treasure and you’ll never be able to convince me otherwise. This one-off gag character has endured for years now, and I hope it endures for many more to come.
“Please don’t speak Italian to the goat.”
This sign is disappointing. I mean, if I can’t gesture broadly with my hands in an effort to converse with the goat, what’s next? Am I also banned from offering it a little bit of gabbagool?
“Mark Zuckerberg is using BBQ sauce as a book stopper.”
Like many of us, I’m of the opinion that Mark Zuckerberg is absolutely a robot. That said, the bottle of barbecue sauce on his shelf makes him seem a little more human.
“Guys help. I don’t own a cat.”
Mystery cats are one of life’s… uh, mysteries. I once moved into an apartment over the course of a few hours. Naturally, the door was left open for a lot of that. When I took stock of things, boom, two mystery cats were hanging out with me.
“This Halloween I’m an Anti-faxxer and there’s no changing my mind.”
Given the proven efficacy of vaccines, and the fact that the vast majority of severe covid cases are occuring in unvaccinated people, I don’t have much time for anti-vaxxers. But anti-faxxers? I’m willing to hear them out.
“Bored in line at In-N-Out, these construction workers tried to see what they could reach with their measuring tape.”
I’d suggest that if these guys are that bored, perhaps they should go to another drive-thru. But this is In-N-Out we’re talking about. It’s definitely worth the wait.
“I think someone is trying to tell me something.”
This is a joke, right? If so, I’ll feel okay laughing at it. But if not, the faint possibility of someone being imprisoned at the zip tie factory will haunt me. Please tell me it’s just a joke.
