Listen, I’m gonna preface this by saying that art is hard. Sometimes, it just doesn’t go the way we want it to, and that sucks!
Having said that…we kinda have to see how bad they are. We have to do this for our own curiosity. Let’s get into it.
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Scary Lucy
In absolute fairness to the artist, you can kinda see how this could be Lucille Ball! If you squint!
Okay, maybe not. This statue of Lucille was placed in her hometown of Celoron, New York in the Lucille Ball Memorial Park.
Damn, Lucy, what happened?
The local population began to refer to the statue as “Scary Lucy” and “Ugly Lucy.”
The statue chilled out in its namesake’s park from 2009 until 2015, when the internet got ahold of it and mocked it right into retirement.
New Lucy rises
Scary Lucy was replaced by New Lucy in 2015. The original artist, Dave Poulin, eventually admitted that Scary Lucy was not his best work.
However, Scary Lucy lives on. She’s still located in the park, too, alongside the newer, more accurate Lucy by sculptor Carolyn Palmer.
May you live forever, Scary Lucy.
Oscar Wilde
Why does this statue look like it’s about to hit on someone, and it’s gonna be really creepy about it?
This statue of Oscar Wilde in Dublin, Ireland sort of captures the playful air of him…but the double chin and the odd smirk sure are choices.
David Bowie
Hi! I didn’t know David Bowie was a vampire? Wild.
This statue of David Bowie and his alter egos was unveiled in 2018. It was created in his likeness after his death in 2016, and features a happy Bowie looking over his many alter-egos.
Kinda.
Get a peep at the whole thing
While Bowie in the back looks perfect, the odd proportions and mouth of Ziggy Stardust definitely qualifies it to be on this list.
Also, why do some of the Bowies look like they’re eating their mics? Things to think about.
Tupac
It says this is Tupac, but I…am having a hard time believing that.
It’s more along the lines of what the would look like now. Despite the belief of many of the statue’s critics, Tupac did indeed rock many suits in his short lifetime.
The statue was retired early
The statue was built to go alongside the Tupac Amaru Shakur Center for the Arts in Atlanta. It was commissioned by his mother, Afeni Shakur, who also built the center.
It closed in 2015, and the statue disappeared not long after that.
The center finds new life
The center was given new life and a new owner after its initial closing. Now, artist Nijel Binns is taking on Tupac’s legacy, creating a new sculpture of the rapper.
James Dean
What’s interesting is that I never knew James Dean didn’t have eyes! Or so this statue portrays.
Located at the Griffith Observatory in Los Angeles, this statue of James Dean is…melted-looking. And a little soulless.
Kurt Cobain
Y’all…this one is a masterpiece. Now, what exactly I mean by that is entirely up to your interpretation, okay?
Kurt Cobain’s hometown of Aberdeen honored the late musician with Kurt Cobain Day, as well as a statue of him.
Not everyone is a fan
The local news station described Cobain as, “[…] the well-known heroin addict who shot himself 20 years ago […]” Which isn’t an overly classy way to describe a person a whole town dedicated a day to.
Anyway, check out that singular, sad tear.
Cristiano Ronaldo
Oh boy. We all know this one. The infamous bust of footballer (soccer player, for the Americans) made headlines around the world after its unveiling in 2017.
For reference, that up there is what Cristiano Ronaldo usually looks like.
This was a meme waiting to happen
And there it is, in all its glory.
This bust did not stand a chance against social media. Within hours of its unveiling, Twitter was on fire with comments, reactions, and memes of the bust.
Twitter had a ball with it
No meme stone was left unphotoshopped. This one is particularly well done, tbh.
If it wasn’t jokes about how much it didn’t resemble Cristiano, it was comparisons to other… similar looking faces that racked up the numbers.
Anyone remember Art Attack?
Anyone? Bueller? This is an absolute flashback to my childhood, guys.
Anyway, even though this comparison was apt af, all the jokes and overall hilarity had a victim—and it wasn’t Cristiano Ronaldo.
That awkward moment when David Beckham was “punk’d” by James Corden
Knowing that soccer superstar David Beckham was receiving an honorary statue of himself from the LA Galaxy team, Late Late Show host James Corden took the opportunity to prank Beckham with a fake “absolutely terrible” statue .
As you can tell by Beckham’s face, he was not pleased.
A sculptor gets his second chance
Emanuel Santos saw the reaction to his sculpture, and it hurt.
So, a year later, he took another shot at it. Sans the happy expression, the new sculpture captures the likeness of Ronaldo much better.
As for Santos? He’s still proud of that first statue. And at the end of the day, that’s all that matters.
Kanye West
I get that art is supposed to have a message. I get that artist Plastic Jesus wanted to send a message about how the media treats Kanye West.
But how on Earth is this Kanye West?
Kate Moss
Hey, quick question: what?!
Not only is this statue by Mark Quinn larger than life (seriously, it’s gigantic), it was on display in the British Museum.
Oh, it is doing the single weirdest and un-Kate Moss pose I’ve ever seen. So. Idk, guys.
There’s so much more to the bad art world
For instance, have you ever stepped into the wonderful world of wax figures? Try saying that five times fast.
Not only are they insane, they often look nothing like the people they’re supposed to be.
There’s nothing cute about whitewashing Beyoncé
Another day, another bad Beyoncé.
These attempts to make Beyoncé into a wax figure somehow ignore the fact that she is a black woman. Instead, Beyoncé is white, and lowkey looks more like Britney Spears than anything. Uh…okay.
All I wanna say is that they don’t really care about Michael
Um? I have? No words? In reply to the Beyoncé figure, Twitter was quick to find even more bad wax figures.
I do not remember Michael Jackson ever looking like that in my entire life.
A not-so-sparkling Twilight recreation
Please. Please…look at this, and tell me who you think it actually looks like.
Because I honestly think this looks like Robert Pattinson and Justin Bieber had a baby. And I’m not super into that concept, tbh.
