When it comes to family planning, things can get complicated. A woman, let’s call her ‘Jane’, and her husband, ‘John’, have one child. John has always been clear about not wanting more kids, a decision Jane has accepted. However, Jane’s birth control pill has been affecting her mental health, and last year, she got pregnant while off it. The couple’s decision to terminate the pregnancy was a tough one, especially for Jane, who felt unsupported by John. Now, she’s back on the pill, but she’s not happy about it. She’s suggested that John get a vasectomy, but he’s avoiding the topic. Is Jane wrong for asking this of John? ♀️
The One-Child Policy

Pill Problems

The Unexpected Pregnancy

The Difficult Decision

Post-Procedure Pain

Back to the Pill

The Vasectomy Proposal

Feeling Pressured

The Guilt Game

Bodily Autonomy vs. Shared Responsibility

Avoidance or Apprehension?

Pushing for a Decision

Considering All Options

A Tale of Pills, Pressure, and Potential Vasectomies
In the aftermath of a difficult abortion, Jane finds herself back on the birth control pill, a medication that negatively impacts her mental health. She suggests that John, who is terrified of having more kids, consider a vasectomy. But John, haunted by a friend’s bad experience, keeps dodging the conversation. Jane feels she’s being fair, asking him to at least research the procedure. But John feels pressured, even though he hasn’t outright refused. Is Jane wrong for pushing the issue, or is John avoiding a necessary discussion? Let’s see what the internet has to say about this emotionally charged situation… ️
NTA: Husband’s refusal to get a vasectomy is selfish and unfair

NTA: He pressured you for an abortion. He’s the a**hole.

He wants sex but not the responsibility? NTA.

“No more sex.” – A bold move to assert boundaries.
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NTA, it’s fair to ask for a vasectomy.

NTA for asking husband about vasectomy. Awful if he expects abortion.

NTA. Husband wants sex without responsibility. Not acceptable.

Husband wants autonomy, but not for his wife?

NTA for requesting a vasectomy. Consider tubal ligation as well.

“NTA. He wouldn’t pressure you to take the pill, he’ll just pressure you to get an abortion then abandon you when you do it! What a champ. Of course you can’t force him to get a vasectomy. But you can tell him you aren’t comfortable being in a sexual relationship where the full physical and mental burden of family planning falls to you. You will not continue to suffer side effects or have a surgery that is much more invasive than a vasectomy because he refuses to take any responsibility for himself. If that leads to no more sex and the likely end of your marriage, so be it.”

NTA. Taking the pill affects your health, not fair for him.

Engaging in birth control conversation: NTA, NAH, or ESH?

NTA wants husband to take responsibility, but he’s hesitant.

NTA. Your husband’s behavior is unfair and disrespectful. ⚕️

NTA suggests pausing intimacy until mature conversation about vasectomy.

NTA. Take control, leave him, and find happiness elsewhere.

Her prerogative to not go back on the pill, his choice.

Husband’s fear of vasectomy vs. pressure to take pill. NTA

NTA. Asserting bodily autonomy and setting personal boundaries.

“Guy feels pressured for vasectomy after pressuring abortion. NTA obviously.”

NAH. Husband’s refusal to support pregnancy is sad. Can’t pressure him.

Seek counseling for a tough situation.

Condoms failed and other birth control is bad for her. ♀️

Birth control responsibility debate: abortion, mental health, and pill methods

“NTA, after suffering, it’s Lysistrata in my house. No snip, no me.”

NTA: Men who pressure partners on birth control are a**holes

NTA: Take control of your contraceptive choices and communicate openly.

Woman stops taking pill, asks husband to handle birth control. NTA

“NTA. Birth control should be a shared responsibility. “

NTA: Husband needs to man up and get a vasectomy.

NTA, husband’s manipulative pressure. Discuss options with OBGYN.
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NTA: Husband’s responsibility to prevent pregnancy after pressuring abortion.

NTA. Communicate your feelings about abortion and body autonomy.

NTA…fair request, but hypocritical stance on contraception.

NTA: Husband should get vasectomy if he doesn’t want more kids

NTA – Justified request or unfair pressure?

NTA, but have you considered other birth control options?
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NTA, husband should step up after witnessing labor and BC.
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Woman shares her justified request for her husband’s vasectomy

NTA: Woman requests husband’s vasectomy, highlights gendered birth control burden.

Husband’s hypocrisy and manipulation leads to justified request for vasectomy.
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Husband’s refusal to communicate: NTA, but serious f**king issues!

NTA – Husband’s double standards: man up and face reality!

NTA. Fair to ask husband for vasectomy after his pressure.

NTA. Husband has 3 choices: vasectomy, condom, or abstinence.

Husband’s hypocrisy: Unfair pressure on wife for vasectomy?

NTA. Female birth control has side effects, vasectomies are safer.
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Taking control of your own body and desires

Husband’s immaturity puts unfair pressure on wife for vasectomy.

Hypocritical husband refuses vasectomy but pressures wife for abortion.
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Men’s desire for control over reproductive rights discussed.

Woman suggests a clever strategy to address unfair pressure for vasectomy

NAH. Respect each other’s autonomy. Find a compromise or move on.

Vasectomy: Easy peasy or big damn baby?
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Shared responsibility: discuss options with doctor for fair contraception.

NTA. His choice, his responsibility. No need to complicate things.

NTA calls out double standard and challenges OP to stand firm.

Huge double-standard: husband okay with abortion but scared of vasectomy?

NTA: After he forced you into an abortion, fair request

Empowered woman sets boundaries for birth control and reproductive choices.

NTA. Communicate your needs and seek couples counseling for support.

NTA: Husband’s fear is valid, but conversation about shared burden needed.

He wants no baby but expects you to suffer? NTA!

Bold ultimatum: vasectomy or 18 years of child support?

NTA. Copper IUD as alternative to vasectomy, but snip is easier.

NTA: Hypocritical husband pressured wife, now it’s his turn.

No baby, no vasectomy?

Husband’s bodily autonomy vs. wife’s request: Unfair or justified?

Woman shares her justified request for husband’s vasectomy after multiple pregnancies

“YTA, unfair double standards! His body, his choice. Just stop having sex.”
