Wife Tired of Playing Second Fiddle to Husband’s Late Spouse

Imagine marrying the love of your life, only to find out that you’ll always be second best to their late spouse. That’s the reality for one woman who married a widower 15 years ago. Despite being in their lives for over a decade, she struggles to find her place in the family and feels like an outsider. Now, with her stepchild becoming a parent, she’s faced with the harsh reality that she might never be seen as a true family member.

Marrying a Widower

Not Their Mom

Late Wife’s Wishes

Honoring Her Memory ️

Feeling Guilty?

Not on the Table

Haunted by the Past

Feeling Like an Outsider

Her Daughter Suffers Too

Invisible Family Members

No Grandma Title for Her

Reaching a Breaking Point

Speaking Up ️

Family’s Reaction

Will She Always Be Second Best?

This woman has spent 15 years living in the shadow of her husband’s late wife, feeling like an outsider in her own family. Despite raising her stepchildren, she has never been allowed to take on the role of their mother, and now, she may not even be allowed to be called ‘grandma’. After years of feeling like her feelings come second to the memory of her husband’s first wife, she finally spoke up, only to be met with anger from her family. Is it too late for her to find her place in their lives, or will she always be second best?

User advises to stop supporting husband’s late spouse’s family.

Husband’s late wife obsession is disrespectful, you’re NTA.

Stepmom excluded by late spouse’s family, husband to blame. NTA.

Wife feels like second choice to husband’s late spouse

NTA. Commenter sympathizes with wife’s situation and encourages her to leave.

Stepmom feels excluded from husband’s late spouse’s memory. NTA.

Step-mom deserves respect and can do motherly duties. NTA

Put yourself first now! It’s your time to be #1!

NTA, leave the emotional abuse behind and find happiness

Stepmom not at fault for wanting to be respected ‍♀️

NTA commenter empathizes with woman’s situation and advises her to stop making an effort with stepchildren who don’t view her as family.

Empathetic commenter supports woman’s decision to leave disrespectful husband

Being a second spouse can be tough, prioritize yourself and daughter

Husband’s actions drive a wedge between family. NTA, but reconsider.

Stepdad becomes grandpa to her kids, and it’s beautiful

Step kids were taught not to love you or your daughter

Validated NTA stands up to late spouse’s family.

NTA. The commenter suggests leaving the marriage and blended family

Being part of the family doesn’t require a label. NTA

Empathetic comment supports OP leaving toxic husband and his family.

Stepmom tired of being second fiddle to husband’s late wife. NTA.

Encouraging response to woman dealing with emotional abuse.

NTA. Husband’s obsession with late wife is emotional abuse.

Breaking free from the shadow of a late spouse.

Step-mother feels rejected by late wife’s selfishness. NTA

Heartbreaking situation of a stepmother being neglected by her husband.

Deceased spouse overshadowing new wife? NTA takes a stand

NTA. Family treating sister poorly. Consider therapy or leaving.

Respecting the dead shouldn’t mean neglecting the living.

Advice to unhappy stepmother: make a plan and take action

Deceased spouse is TA, OP NTA. Petty even in death.

Boundaries set for stepfamily without being the a**hole

Stepmom feels neglected and unappreciated by late wife’s children.

User sympathizes with OP but suggests reevaluating her marriage.

Questioning the logic of staying in unsatisfying relationships

A commenter reflects on the importance of having a maternal figure

Don’t let a selfish dead person ruin your family. NTA

Boundaries with stepchildren, not your job to be a parent

Wife sets boundaries with stepdaughter over late spouse’s role.

Wife feels like a second choice to husband’s deceased spouse

Stepmom expresses her feelings towards husband’s late spouse. NTA.

User suggests going low contact with stepfamily. NTA.

Choosing not to date single mothers due to past attachment.

User empathizes with commenter, suggests ceasing grandmother role and reevaluating relationship.

NTA commenter empathizes with OP and calls out husband’s family’s cruelty

Acknowledging a stepparent’s role is important. #NTA

Encouraging comment on letting go and finding happiness.

Resentment towards stepchildren, YTA according to comment.

Stepmom’s valid feelings and husband’s late wife’s influence on family dynamics.

OP is advised to prioritize her own happiness and feelings.

Respect bio mom’s wishes? NTA. Step mom deserves respect too

Empathetic commenter encourages OP to leave toxic marriage with daughter

Step-grandma love is unconditional, titles don’t diminish late spouse’s memory ❤

User calls out husband for prioritizing dead wife over living family

Supportive comment encourages OP to consider leaving if situation doesn’t improve

Related post shows similar marital conflict

Respectful approach to husband’s late spouse. Creating something new.

Stepdad’s love proves stepmoms can be great moms too

Empathetic comment offers support to victim of emotional abuse

Set boundaries to protect yourself and your daughter.

Partner and kids should be happy, love again if possible

Heartbreaking comment about a neglectful spouse.

Stepmother’s valid concerns about husband’s behavior and children’s disconnect.

Stepmother advises not to act like a grandma to stepdaughter’s baby

Encouraging response to wife’s struggle with step-family dynamics

Adding a stepmom doesn’t take away from late birth mom. NTA

Supportive comment about step-grandparents. Heartwarming

Stepmother excluded for 15 years due to selfish mother’s will

Heartbreaking situation where husband’s first wife still reigns supreme.

Partner wanted a partner, not a replacement parent. NTA.

Widow supports wife tired of living under husband’s late spouse’s shadow

Heartbreaking situation, OP deserves full love and celebration ❤️

Step-children treated OP as a guest, husband at fault. NTA.

Red flags in husband’s behavior, commenter suggests leaving.

Widowed parent supports spouse finding love and co-parenting their kids

Grandma boundaries set in the comment section

Set boundaries and charge for services, prioritize your daughter.

Stepmom feels left out by stepchildren, suggests therapy for resolution

First wife’s behavior is horrendous, NTA for wanting change.

NTA. Don’t be a live-in servant. You deserve love

Stepchildren favoritism causing tension in marriage. NTA’s solution

Supportive comment encourages reflection and healing for grieving wife.

Stepparents deserve love too, NTA for expressing your feelings

Stepmom feels excluded by stepchildren’s grandparents. Sad family situation

User sympathizes with wife’s situation, suggests she deserves better

Advice for navigating stepfamily dynamics after spouse’s death.

Stepmom feels like an outsider due to husband’s actions

Empathetic comment validates OP’s feelings and offers support.

The pain of losing a mother and accepting a stepmom.