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When Cultural Identity Sparks a Friendship Crisis: The Tale of Two College Girls

by Diply Social Team
1 year ago
in Family
Reading Time: 12 mins read
A A
Diply | Diply

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In the melting pot of college life, friendships are often formed across cultural lines. But what happens when two friends share the same ethnic heritage, yet have vastly different experiences and attitudes towards it? This is the story of a unique friendship between two Asian girls at an out-of-state college, one raised in a culturally rich Asian community and the other, adopted by white parents. Their shared Chinese heritage becomes a battleground, leading to a dramatic confrontation.

A Friendship Blossoms

Image credit: snoo-12948 | snoo-12948
snoo-12948 | snoo-12948

A Shared Heritage… Or So It Seemed

Image credit: snoo-12948 | snoo-12948
snoo-12948 | snoo-12948

Cracks in the Friendship

Image credit: snoo-12948 | snoo-12948
snoo-12948 | snoo-12948

An Unsettling Revelation

Image credit: snoo-12948 | snoo-12948
snoo-12948 | snoo-12948

A Cultural Divide ️

Image credit: snoo-12948 | snoo-12948
snoo-12948 | snoo-12948

Identity Crisis?

Image credit: snoo-12948 | snoo-12948
snoo-12948 | snoo-12948

The Final Straw

Image credit: snoo-12948 | snoo-12948
snoo-12948 | snoo-12948

The Confrontation

Image credit: snoo-12948 | snoo-12948
snoo-12948 | snoo-12948

A Friendship on the Brink: Cultural Identity or Self-Hate?

This tale of two college girls, both of Chinese heritage but with starkly different experiences and attitudes, takes us on an emotional rollercoaster. The friendship, once blossoming, now teeters on the brink as one friend’s constant negative comments about their shared heritage become too much to bear. The final confrontation leaves us questioning: Is it self-hate or a struggle to adapt to a culture she feels alien to? And who gets to decide how one should embrace their cultural identity? Let’s dive into the internet’s top responses to this intriguing situation…

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NTA: Standing up against stereotypes and promoting understanding

Image credit: Meitsch | Meitsch
Meitsch | Meitsch

NTA: Speaking up against internalized racism

Image credit: plsletmestayincanada | plsletmestayincanada
plsletmestayincanada | plsletmestayincanada

NTA. Bad parenting, self-reflection, and cultural identity crisis discussed

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Standing up against racism: NTA, cut ties if necessary!

Image credit: talia-gustin | talia-gustin
talia-gustin | talia-gustin

NTA. Calling out internalized racism and setting boundaries.

Image credit: WebbieVanderquack | WebbieVanderquack
WebbieVanderquack | WebbieVanderquack

Understanding the struggle of feeling like the “other”

Image credit: StrikingDebate2 | StrikingDebate2
StrikingDebate2 | StrikingDebate2

NTA Korean adoptee blames friend’s parents for cultural ignorance

Image credit: CleverFern | CleverFern
CleverFern | CleverFern

NTA. Encountering cultural identity clash and choosing self-preservation

Image credit: tdoggins | tdoggins
tdoggins | tdoggins

Internalized racism sparks friendship crisis. NTA, just extra steps.

Image credit: Neolord9000 | Neolord9000
Neolord9000 | Neolord9000

Friendship crisis over cultural identity: Is she the a**hole?

Image credit: CantoErgoSum | CantoErgoSum
CantoErgoSum | CantoErgoSum

“I’m Asian by blood but white at heart” – NTA

Image credit: Advanced_Lobster | Advanced_Lobster
Advanced_Lobster | Advanced_Lobster

NTA, you’re a saint for enduring racist comments. Take care, OP

Image credit: wee_little_squirrel | wee_little_squirrel
wee_little_squirrel | wee_little_squirrel

Uncomfortable encounters with cultural identity. NTA for feeling uncomfortable.

Image credit: undecidedbean | undecidedbean
undecidedbean | undecidedbean

Friendship crisis turned into a powerful ‘come to Jesus moment’

Image credit: EuphoricRealist | EuphoricRealist
EuphoricRealist | EuphoricRealist

NTA. Empathetic comment on cultural identity and adoption experiences.

Image credit: glassesclub | glassesclub
glassesclub | glassesclub

Struggling with internalized racism and self-perceived identity crisis

Image credit: sleepykittenxx | sleepykittenxx
sleepykittenxx | sleepykittenxx

Growing up as a Chinese adoptee in a predominantly white area ‍♀️

Image credit: Save_Surely | Save_Surely
Save_Surely | Save_Surely

Engaging in cultural identity debate: hypocrisy and othering.

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Cultural clash over food choices sparks friendship crisis

Image credit: alljoot | alljoot
alljoot | alljoot

Positive representation in media changed my perspective on cultural identity

Image credit: giggling_casanova | giggling_casanova
giggling_casanova | giggling_casanova

NTA. Offensive jokes and language barrier create uncomfortable situation.

Image credit: judge1492 | judge1492
judge1492 | judge1492

NTA, but Chinese dog festival is horrific. Don’t watch videos

Image credit: sarcyse | sarcyse
sarcyse | sarcyse

Curious about her upbringing, but NTA for not tolerating racism.

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Cultural clashes and a friendship lost over Chinese traditions and identity

Image credit: trusisbunny | trusisbunny
trusisbunny | trusisbunny

Adopted friend’s racist comment sparks friendship crisis. OP is NTA

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

NTA. Shutting down racism: the importance of cultural conversations.

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

NTA – Calling out racist comments and setting boundaries

Image credit: Spectrum2081 | Spectrum2081
Spectrum2081 | Spectrum2081

Engaging with internalized racism and helping a friend love herself ❤️

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Cultural cuisine debates: Cats, dogs, and horses, oh my!

Image credit: Rap3Slutz | Rap3Slutz
Rap3Slutz | Rap3Slutz

Asian adoptee shares experience of cultural identity and self-hatred.

Image credit: HealthyPeach12 | HealthyPeach12
HealthyPeach12 | HealthyPeach12

Sadness and racism: when cultural identity leads to distancing behavior

Image credit: Leek5 | Leek5
Leek5 | Leek5

Friend refuses to embrace their culture, but expects understanding. NTA.

Image credit: Mortisrat | Mortisrat
Mortisrat | Mortisrat

Friendship crisis: Reflecting past bullying or just being racist?

Image credit: oopsthrowawayhehe | oopsthrowawayhehe
oopsthrowawayhehe | oopsthrowawayhehe

Friend thinks she’s better due to white parents. NTA.

Image credit: lumpthefoff | lumpthefoff
lumpthefoff | lumpthefoff

A Chinese man raised by white parents struggles with his identity

Image credit: canoturkey | canoturkey
canoturkey | canoturkey

Growing up Asian in a predominantly white town

Image credit: mapmik3 | mapmik3
mapmik3 | mapmik3

Understanding the complexities of cultural identity and personal growth

Image credit: nottoday9999 | nottoday9999
nottoday9999 | nottoday9999

Hilarious comment referencing Dave Chapelle’s Clayton Bigsby character

Image credit: StixTheNerd | StixTheNerd
StixTheNerd | StixTheNerd

NTA. Clap back at racist adoptee for mocking cultural lifestyle.

Image credit: Galaxy_Convoy | Galaxy_Convoy
Galaxy_Convoy | Galaxy_Convoy

Confronting internalized racism: end the friendship or teach her better.

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Adopted child faces backlash for rude and racist behavior

Image credit: cherry_studiio | cherry_studiio
cherry_studiio | cherry_studiio

Controversial topic sparks debate about cultural practices and animal cruelty

Image credit: Princeps_Mickey | Princeps_Mickey
Princeps_Mickey | Princeps_Mickey

NTA! Help her confront her internalized racism and set boundaries.

Image credit: motherofcats908 | motherofcats908
motherofcats908 | motherofcats908

NTA. Friendship crisis: dealing with a racially insensitive and rude person

Image credit: Moggetti | Moggetti
Moggetti | Moggetti

Girl’s racist behavior causes friendship crisis. She’s way out of hand.

Image credit: irisshadow | irisshadow
irisshadow | irisshadow

Identity crisis: Parents’ neglect sparks cultural conflict.

Image credit: Lets_go_be_bad_guys | Lets_go_be_bad_guys
Lets_go_be_bad_guys | Lets_go_be_bad_guys

NTA: Fellow Asian adoptee calls out cultural insensitivity and lack of education

Image credit: EasyCardinal | EasyCardinal
EasyCardinal | EasyCardinal

NTA. Adoptee’s ignorance of heritage sparks cultural clash. Stand your ground!

Image credit: Bookaholicforever | Bookaholicforever
Bookaholicforever | Bookaholicforever

Friendship crisis: NTA, she’s a banana ‍♀️

Image credit: giantsfan923 | giantsfan923
giantsfan923 | giantsfan923

Boyfriend’s cultural experience in China sparks controversy.

Image credit: Lisa2Lovely | Lisa2Lovely
Lisa2Lovely | Lisa2Lovely

Adoptive parents’ influence on cultural identity, a heartbreaking revelation

Image credit: Epapa217 | Epapa217
Epapa217 | Epapa217

A harmonious tale of cultural identity and friendship

Image credit: librarianofthefuture | librarianofthefuture
librarianofthefuture | librarianofthefuture

NTA: Friend lacks cultural understanding, needs help or therapy

Image credit: FifiMcNasty | FifiMcNasty
FifiMcNasty | FifiMcNasty

NTA for distancing yourself from a racist friend

Image credit: twewff4ever | twewff4ever
twewff4ever | twewff4ever

Friendship crisis: Toxic racism in someone’s ‘white at heart’ identity. Yikes!

Image credit: Shavasara | Shavasara
Shavasara | Shavasara

“NTA and this is speaking as someone who is chinese and adopted by white people. From what it seems she’s got a lot of identity issues. I wonder if where she grew up if it was a mostly white people. She sort of sounds like my sister. Growing up I tried to find myself in my Chinese background. She ran away from it and trying to white wash herself as much as possible. She literally cried when people said she looked chinese. (We did 23andMe and she’s some ethnic minority and doesn’t look Han Chinese.) I will admit being a transracial adoptee is difficult, but that doesn’t excuse her behavior. She needs therapy to figure herself out. I feel bad because I know what’s probably going on in her head, but again NTA.”

Image credit: Extra-Tension- | Extra-Tension-
Extra-Tension- | Extra-Tension-

Empathetic response to Chinese adoptee’s identity crisis and ignorance

Image credit: kayla_songbird | kayla_songbird
kayla_songbird | kayla_songbird

Coping mechanism or snobbishness? Understanding the complexities of cultural identity.

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

NTA. Friend struggling with cultural identity and offensive comments.

Image credit: CaptainDrewBoy | CaptainDrewBoy
CaptainDrewBoy | CaptainDrewBoy

NTA – Standing up against racism and embracing cultural pride!

Image credit: macaerin | macaerin
macaerin | macaerin

Engaging comment about cultural identity and self-reflection.

Image credit: sdkjfoeijoenl | sdkjfoeijoenl
sdkjfoeijoenl | sdkjfoeijoenl

Dealing with an exhausting friend? Here’s how to handle it!

Image credit: missbaby23 | missbaby23
missbaby23 | missbaby23

NTA. Adopted friend being racist towards her own culture

Image credit: suckmyduck29 | suckmyduck29
suckmyduck29 | suckmyduck29

A friendship tested by cultural identity. NTA, but complicated.

Image credit: sassy-cheese-cube | sassy-cheese-cube
sassy-cheese-cube | sassy-cheese-cube

Confronting offensive behavior: NTA stands up against white supremacy.

Image credit: blairwitchreject | blairwitchreject
blairwitchreject | blairwitchreject

Racist remarks from a friend? Not cool!

Image credit: SplodeyCat | SplodeyCat
SplodeyCat | SplodeyCat

Adoptive parents and religion: A friendship crisis in the making?

Image credit: dcoleski | dcoleski
dcoleski | dcoleski
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