To get a real round of laughs in, you usually have to pay. Whether it be going to see a funny movie or attending a comedy show, you have to cough up a couple bucks at least to have a fun night out.
Sometimes, however, life does us a solid and brings the funny right to us, and for free, too! Just like the instances on this list!
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“The Easy Meal Solutions section is filled with nothing but cake and wine.”
And? That is an easy meal solution. What could be easier than cake and wine? You don’t even need to serve either, just eat right out of the tray and drink right out of the bottle!
Make sure you do so in your comfiest clothes and in the coziest spot in your home for maximum effectiveness.
“I present the greatest fortune from a fortune cookie.”
Well, yeah, actually. I could. You did predict this one correctly by claiming I would say that, but that doesn’t mean this is a good fortune! It’s still a bad fortune! And I could write better! You won’t get me!
“Star-crust lovers.”
Do you think the last two employees, as they lock up their respective stores just feet apart, spare tense little glances at one another, both wishing they had the bravery to exchange words with the other? Do they feel the tension between them? Do they know they’re destined to be lovers?
“My GF: ‘I couldn’t fit it in freezer.’ I hereby apologize to the whole French nation.”
Oh no. Oh dear, no. This is certainly not the way.
To the uploader’s girlfriend, did you know that there’s another way to make loaves of bread smaller? It involves a common kitchen utensil and a cutting motion, really convenient, far better than folding.
“This unpredictable Texas weather.”
I hate weather like this. It feels sort of warm at the beginning of the day, so you go out without a jacket on, then by the evening the whole town freezes over in a rapid nuclear winter, and now you’re really wishing you had that jacket!
“Or not…”
I say just leave it. It’s a great way to warn your customers about a lying, defective product, and it means you won’t have to pick up 1000 pounds worth of those bags again just to bring them back to where they were.
“You’re the Amazon movie description writer and it’s 4:55pm you get off work in 5mins.”
Man, I had no idea Alien 3 would have strange or deadly events in it, talk about spoilers! They’re getting way too detailed with these descriptions. Leave us wondering a little so we’ll actually want to watch the movie.
“Made me smile.”
Something about the tone of this is just so defeated and casual. They’re not just giving you permission to drive into them, they’re actively inviting it. They’re begging you to please, please run into them, just so they can have some thrill in their life.
Lost at sea.
“[Help] she jumped into the kayak with so much force that it launched off from shore and now she’s floating there waiting for me.”
In case you’re worried, this person did have a second kayak and did go valiantly rescue their adventerous pup.
“I wouldn’t even be mad.”
This is something you laugh about in the moment because it’s so ridiculous, but later you think on it, realize it was still rude, and that Captain Blue Balls must be doing this often if he got a tire cover made for it.
You realize he must be stopped. You become his sworn enemy on the roads. You will put an end to his cutting-off ways.
“New chair works great!”
I know someone who legitimately did this with a nightstand they were given for their birthday once. They never put it together, they never took it out of the box actually, they just stuck the box next to their bed and used that. Yes, it was sad to witness.
“Saw this in IKEA showroom…”
Signs exist for a reason, which means I shudder to think about how many IKEA display toilets had to have been used before they started including barriers to stop that from happening. However many it was, IKEA employees did not ever get paid enough to clean it.
“I don’t know that I’d want to live on this road in Colorado.”
Someone in the comments said that not only is this a real street but that it only has one house on it. Another user then mused that whoever originally owned that house probably got to name the street, then. I appreciate their naming conventions.
“Pizza App says that the food will be here soon. I live in the states…”
Hey, you don’t know what sort of futuristic speed boat this delivery driver has on deck. He could travel oceans in mere minutes and you’d have no idea. Well, you will have an idea soon, when you watch that car skim to another continent and deliver your pizza right on time.
“So I bought my cat a new gift.”
Ah, a classic. With how often we cat owners are showing off outs cats’ blatant disregard for any gifts and their love of straight-up garbage, none of us should be surprised when they pull things like this anymore. We ought to just start gifting them scraps of paper. They’ll love it.
“This guy today made me laugh…”
At least they own up to it! Nothing’s more infuriating than someone who’s an asshole but refuses to accept it. Being self-aware means they’re making the active choice to not improve, which is in their rights.
An escapee among us.
“My [friend’s daughter’s] hamster has been missing and feared dead for almost 2 weeks now. Last night she forgot to wash up the paint tray after a day of decorating. We now think the hamster may still be alive…”
“Alex said not today racetrac.”
Kudos to whoever name-dropped Alex like this. They aren’t beating around the bush, no vague mentions of ‘staffing shortages’ or what have you, just the simple truth.
Screw you, Alex. Now none of us get gas station snacks, all because of you.
“[Somebody] is gonna be pissed.”
This is a good prank because all the person can do about it is be mad. They can’t get back up to their truck, and even if they did, what then? Are they just going to drive it off? No, they have to politely wait for whoever put it up to bring it back down. Humiliating.
“Let my 2 year old pick his dinner tonight. That used to be a chocolate doughnut.”
It’s now a very sugary donut, a bowl of extremely soggy cereal pieces, and a small handful of Cheetos, reduced from a large handful of Cheetos.
I don’t know about you, but that looks like the dinner of champions to me.
