When we are kids we are always told to tell the truth and nothing but the truth…or is that court? Anyway, telling the truth is something that we should all do a little more often.
So, from people who went to a protest to share the most truthful jokes they have to individuals who took the truth of the bible to hilarious ends, here are 20 people who told it how it is…and nothing else!
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“That Guy…”
As you can imagine, a lot of people then started sharing their own town’s “guy.” With one response being:
“In Portland, OR, we’ve got the Unipiper. That guy rides around town on a unicycle, playing the bagpipe, in a variety of costumes. Sometimes flames come out of the bagpipe. Good times!”
“I respect the hustle.”
This guy is really committing to the long game. Although, I didn’t think that the move was particularly “smooth” if I’m honest — he said while being fully aware that he was the least-smooth person on the planet.
“Jesus failed to take the wheel in this situation.”
One of the best responses to this particular post was, “After all, Jesus did die for our sin2x,” and I only wish that I had thought of that first. Religious math humor is a dying art form.
“A valid argument.”
I really do not know why I completely agree with this statement. It feels as though it should be the sort of thought that gets you branded a madman, and yet I feel passionately that the sentiment is correct!
“Always remember your ABC’s!”
Say what you want about it, but that is one factually accurate acronym. One medical professional elaborated on this a little more, helpfully adding, “Particularly bad when the bone and the skin belong to different people.”
“Asparagus growth…”
And no, I definitely did not google how asparagus grows to make sure that this wasn’t some form of multi-layered prank that I was buying in to. I always assumed that asparagus just came out of a tap somewhere.
“Danger due to danger!”
Sounds pretty dangerous if you ask me. I think that most signs should be this vague, it keeps people on their toes if they know they need to be on the lookout for something…but unsure of what that thing actually is.
“Is this from 1st Lipids 21 or Obesities 3:17?”
That is also why when you die your fat cells take control of your decaying body and walk you around like a puppet. That is just one of those facts of life,
“One of the best fake IDs I’ve ever seen.”
This kid could make a killing selling these to his classmates. It is some of the finest work that I have seen for a long time, this kid is going to ace forgery class!
“Andrew’s spittin’ bars.”
Although, as someone also noted: “To be fair, lyric battles have been a thing since the Vikings. They would roast each other in poem form and it’s basically just descended through the years to our modern day rap battles.”
How Could He Forget?
The person who posted this explained: “A few years ago I wrangled my way on stage at a Willie Nelson show to get this pic. A friend toured with Willie a while after this and I asked her to see if he remembered it. His exact quote ‘I may get high everyday but there’s no way in hell I’d forget a 6 foot hotdog.'”
“Written in my college’s toilet.”
This strikes me as the sort of thing that someone has spent an awful lot of time considering. Nothing like a bit of bathroom wall philosophy to brighten up your trips to the toilet though.
“A child drew this on the back of one of the kids’ menus. Same kid, same.”
This kid already has quite the grasp on life! I was far less existential when I was a child, which is pretty normal for a kid I guess.
“I mean, they aren’t wrong.”
Well, it sounds like they haven’t had many of the dogs from round our way in this hotel! The dogs in our neighborhood are always setting fire to stuff, smoking, and having late night fights!
“What happened at this pool for this to be necessary?”
I would have thought that waterboarding yourself would be something that everyone would be against! And yet, clearly there are some people who decided that they were all for it actually.
“The trick to turning anything into a smoke machine.”
Is this some sort of challenge to see how many different machines I can turn into smoke machines? I better get started, time to overheat the hell out of some appliances!
That All Checks Out!
I think that I would want this license plate on a blue car, just to annoy everyone else on the road. Or, maybe that is what this person also wanted to do also but they’re colorblind?
This Is A Fair Warning To Anyone Thinking Of Buying A Bike!
If you do want to go slower than this then you need to get yourself some stabilisers! I also never understood this bartering technique, it feels a bit lazy.
Nothing Wrong With This!
Yup, this is just how normal people look, definitely not anything wrong with this whatsoever. Maybe she has just been at the gym exclusively working on her neck muscles for the last decade and a half?
“Is it biodegradable?”
I also like how the woman in the background is holding that Dorito like a deadly weapon. I have never seen anyone hold a Dorito so threateningly before! Maybe she is planning to use it like a shuriken.
