Many parents raise their children with beliefs and qualities that they find important. But, as the kids grow up and learn things from the outside world, their beliefs can become shifted and different.
Then, when they become parents themselves, they choose to raise their own children differently than their parents raised them—feeling it was the “wrong” way to teach children about life.
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Lacking empathy.
“My parents grew up in a really really horrible situation and they made it out and did well for themselves. So now anytime anyone struggles they refuse to feel bad for them because they have gone through worse and did fine. I think people deserve empathy regardless,” one person wrote.
Meanness is the same as fondness.
Many parents raise kids to believe that if they are picked on by someone of the opposite sex, it’s because that kid likes them or has a crush on them.
In fact, many believe this is an outdated and poor lesson to instill in children and refuse to teach their own kids this way.
That adults don’t have to apologize to kids.
“I love my dad. He is a great dad and I know he loves me so much, but he has it in his head that even now, even when his youngest (me) is an adult, that he doesn’t need to apologize if he does something wrong. It’s baffling,” one person added.
Use your money as soon as you get it.
One person said that their father believed that when you get money, you should go out and spend it having fun.
When you run out, you just stay home and wait until you get more money. Definitely not the greatest lessons to be taught.
Always being busy means you are successful.
“That you need to hustle 100% of the time and be constantly busy with school/worka, extra activities, side projects, cleaning etc. Spending time unwinding is a sign of laziness and boredeom and intelligent people are never bored. This really messed me up and I’m still learning the art of wasting time,” someone wrote.
Negative emotions are “rude.”
One person added that their parents taught them that expressing any type of negative emotion is rude and should not be done.
In fact, this can cause children to suppress how they truly feel about things and hide their emotions altogether.
You can’t talk about the “real” stuff.
“I want my future kids to know facts and that if they are ever in trouble, I am a safe place for them. We don’t have to talk about it if they don’t want to, they’ll be taught how to be safe, but they should also know that these subjects are a part of life and should not cause shame,” said another.
Fitting in is better than standing out.
Another added that they were taught to fit in with the crowd, no matter what, even if it means you give up and sacrifice who you truly are as a person.
This seems to be the worst lesson to teach someone because they will never know who they truly are.
Parental love can be conditional.
“That their love has conditions, and if not followed they will drop you in your time of need. Right or wrong, I hope my children will never feel like they can’t talk to me or that I will judge them,” said someone else.
Parents know what’s best for their kids.
Another added on that parents claim they “always know what is best for their kids.” When, in fact, there are many times when parents don’t know anything about their kids at all.
Sometimes, they are easily trying to figure things out, too.
Kids should be mini versions of their parents.
“That I basically have to be a smaller version of them, believe exactly what they do and not think for myself and have my own opinion. If I have kids I’d let them be open minded and believe what they want,” one person commented.
Being hypocritical is okay.
Some users said that parents often have rules for their kids, but they don’t always live by those rules themselves.
Being a hypocrite can set the wrong tone for a family dynamic and cause kids not to trust their parents at all.
Fighting is the answer.
“My parents fought a lot. They’d both get very emotional about things and raise their voices in every argument. By example I will teach them that when you are angry, take a break from the argument until you’ve both calmed down,” one person wrote.
Parent’s feelings matter more than the child’s.
One person said they grew up in a household where it was more important if their mom or dad was upset than if a child was upset.
Setting this tone left him with a lot of emotional damage and scarring.
Judging people based on appearance.
“Something I watched them do when growing up, which is just comment on people’s appearances alllll the time. Who cares if you don’t like the clothes they’re wearing or what if you think they’ve lost or gained weight, and you don’t like their new haircut,” another said.
