Sooner or later, we all grow up and turn into the thing we hated most in our youth — our parents. You can try and fight it, but the change is inevitable as the rising sun.
You can either fight against the dying of the night or you can embrace it. For those looking to do the latter, have a look as these millennials share the middle-aged things that they do now.
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Just wait until you turn 30; then you’ll see…
“I’m only 22 and nothing gets me more excited than getting a new kitchen appliance. I got a food processor for Christmas last year and it was my favorite present.” – Buzzfeed/hamburgler
“That a messy kitchen is detrimental to my mental health.” – Reddit u/JimBob-Joe
I can handle a mess in almost any room in the house — except for the kitchen. When I come down first thing in the morning to have my cup of coffee, I need to see a clean sink, or my entire day is thrown off.
When you pass out, it’s because you’re too tired — not because you’re too drunk.
“I had my bachelor party in Vegas recently. I went to bed because I was tired, not because I was sloppy drunk like every other time I went to Vegas. Fml I’m old now.” – Reddit u/Kerriganszergheels
“I had a discussion with a coworker regarding the the pros and cons of various allergy meds.” – Reddit u/FaithlessnessAble627
At the end of the day, what it really comes down to in this debate is whether or not you’re willing to sacrifice efficacy for alertness. That non-drowsy stuff might keep you on your toes, but it won’t completely stem your sniffles.
Getting angry at young people for wearing young people clothing.
“I saw a mannequin in Target wearing a very short jumper dress and said, out loud, “this is so short! Who can wear this comfortably? It wouldn’t even pass the finger-tip test!” – Reddit u/whereswalda
“Got up from having sex and said, “oh my back!” – Reddit u/riotwild
You can’t take anything for granted once you cross into your 30s. Earlier this month, I sneezed and threw my back out. I was yelling for five minutes on the front porch before anyone realized I needed help.
A good compost bin is nothing to sneeze at.
“I’m in the process of buying my first house and excitedly exclaimed to my SO, now I can get a decent compost bin. Then scoped out my Dad’s when we went to visit, where did my youth go?” – Reddit u/NinjaPandaOnSkates
“Had a riveting conversation with some friends about the best office chairs for lumbar support.” – Reddit u/Cabralesba
As someone who spends the bulk of his time writing behind a desk, let me tell you that proper ergonomics is no joke. A chair with good lumbar support isn’t just a suggestion — it’s a commandment.
Getting angry at themselves for not remembering to defrost meat properly.
“I feel like I finally understand my mother’s frustration. I get so mad at myself when I forget to take the meat out of the freezer!” – Reddit u/lackingsavoirfaire
Complaining about all their aches and pains.
Millennials talk about their aches and pains as if they were trading war stories from WWII. It’s a humbling rite of passage to have to admit that the only reason you threw your back out is that you got up off the couch too quickly.
I hear they have great gas mileage…
“I was venting to a coworker about these noisy bastards living next to me. I actually said the words, “goddamn teenagers and their Bluetooth machines”. I stand by my admonition but man it was my greatest age leap forward since I embraced the sensible Toyota.” – Reddit u/unknown
“I’m using my tax return to splurge and hire a maid to come deep clean my house. I am so very excited.” – Reddit u/unknown
True story, when my mom asked me what I wanted for Christmas this year, I told her that all I really wanted was for someone else to come and clean my house.
Boy, if only my 12-year-old self could see me now…
When you realize that you’ve become the grumpy old man on the block.
“I’m waiting for a good opportunity to get the license plate of a huge truck that keeps going like 50 mph through my apartment complex day and night. I dont care if it makes me old, kids and animals live here and that truck could kill someone.” – Reddit u/
Saying things like “Damn, beef is expensive nowadays.”
Everything is expensive nowadays. I went to the grocery store just last week and they were selling 1KG of beef for $7 — and that was the sale price! Pretty soon, we’re all going to be eating cardboard and drywall insulation.
It’s good for you!
“When my wife asked if there was anything she need to pick up at the store, and I responded: ‘I think we’re out of asparagus’.Not sure what foul demon possessed me to say those words.” – Reddit u/moronomer
h/t: Reddit
