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Man Refuses to Split Finances with GF After She Denied Him Years Ago: Fair or Foul?

by Diply Social Team
1 year ago
in Family
Reading Time: 13 mins read
A A
Diply | Diply

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Picture this: A couple moves in together and the girlfriend earns more than the boyfriend. He suggests pooling their finances, but she declines, wanting to keep their money separate. Fast forward two years, and the tables have turned. The boyfriend is now earning significantly more than his girlfriend. Suddenly, she’s all for sharing their income. What would you do in this situation?

The Initial Financial Situation

Image credit: strict-specialist865 | strict-specialist865
strict-specialist865 | strict-specialist865

Pooling Finances? Not So Fast!

Image credit: strict-specialist865 | strict-specialist865
strict-specialist865 | strict-specialist865

Separate Finances It Is!

Image credit: strict-specialist865 | strict-specialist865
strict-specialist865 | strict-specialist865

A Change in Earnings

Image credit: strict-specialist865 | strict-specialist865
strict-specialist865 | strict-specialist865

More Promotions on the Horizon

Image credit: strict-specialist865 | strict-specialist865
strict-specialist865 | strict-specialist865

Suddenly, She Wants to Share

Image credit: strict-specialist865 | strict-specialist865
strict-specialist865 | strict-specialist865

Family and Friends Weigh In

Image credit: strict-specialist865 | strict-specialist865
strict-specialist865 | strict-specialist865

Is He in the Wrong?

Image credit: strict-specialist865 | strict-specialist865
strict-specialist865 | strict-specialist865

A Financial Feud: Is He Being Unfair?

This tale of love and money has our protagonist questioning his actions. After his girlfriend refused to pool their finances when they first moved in together, he’s now refusing to do so after a series of promotions left him earning more than her. With family and friends chiming in, he’s left wondering if he’s being unfair or simply standing his ground. Let’s see what the internet thinks of this sticky situation…

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Keep finances separate if not married. Legal protection with license.

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Don’t keep score, focus on ‘we’ not ‘me’

Image credit: IridianRaingem | IridianRaingem
IridianRaingem | IridianRaingem

Keep finances separate until marriage. NTA for doing so.

Image credit: DanielJacksonOfSG-1 | DanielJacksonOfSG-1
DanielJacksonOfSG-1 | DanielJacksonOfSG-1

ESH conflict over money and grudges in a relationship

Image credit: grw313 | grw313
grw313 | grw313

Fair game: Man refuses to split finances with ex-girlfriend.

Image credit: RGD1983 | RGD1983
RGD1983 | RGD1983

Don’t combine finances unless married. Girlfriend lacks ‘us’ mentality. NTA.

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Partner wanting to pool finances only when favorable is NTA. Scorekeeping breeds resentment.

Image credit: CreepyTale8 | CreepyTale8
CreepyTale8 | CreepyTale8

Negotiating finances in relationships, not automatic. Refusal as payback unfair.

Image credit: avakyeter | avakyeter
avakyeter | avakyeter

Different ways to split finances: 50/50, proportional to income, combined.

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Combining finances: trust, risk, or revenge?

Image credit: asegers | asegers
asegers | asegers

NTA. Communication is key. Keep it civil and honest.

Image credit: the_last_basselope | the_last_basselope
the_last_basselope | the_last_basselope

Combining finances after a raise? Both suck

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Discussing finances is important for serious relationships

Image credit: CakeisaDie | CakeisaDie
CakeisaDie | CakeisaDie

Sharing finances in a long-term relationship: joint or separate accounts?

Image credit: mssheevaa | mssheevaa
mssheevaa | mssheevaa

Separate finances are fair, a joint account for mutual expenses.

Image credit: annoyedpotatolady | annoyedpotatolady
annoyedpotatolady | annoyedpotatolady

Money talks, and so does fairness. NTA for standing firm.

Image credit: graciek106 | graciek106
graciek106 | graciek106

Suggestion for fair and equitable split of joint finances.

Image credit: Cummy-Bear-Magic | Cummy-Bear-Magic
Cummy-Bear-Magic | Cummy-Bear-Magic

Separate finances are a good idea regardless of what you make

Image credit: teke367 | teke367
teke367 | teke367

Treating others the way you want to be treated ✌️

Image credit: luigiman2021 | luigiman2021
luigiman2021 | luigiman2021

NTA, but unequal income can create an unhealthy power dynamic

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Fair or foul? NTA comment discusses financial hypocrisy in relationship.

Image credit: aitaidontthinkso | aitaidontthinkso
aitaidontthinkso | aitaidontthinkso

Open communication is key to healthy finances and relationships.

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

User questions OP’s assumptions about GF’s motives for not combining finances.

Image credit: Mysecretaccount-99 | Mysecretaccount-99
Mysecretaccount-99 | Mysecretaccount-99

ESH, communication is key to avoid resentment in relationships

Image credit: Marvalbert22 | Marvalbert22
Marvalbert22 | Marvalbert22

Married commenter advises offering to take on larger bills together ❤️

Image credit: theassholeofalabama | theassholeofalabama
theassholeofalabama | theassholeofalabama

NAH. Keeping scores isn’t healthy in a long term relationship.

Image credit: Teh_Hammerer | Teh_Hammerer
Teh_Hammerer | Teh_Hammerer

Sorting out finances in a relationship: NTA’s advice for less stress

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Both parties being a**holes, need to communicate and compromise ‍♂️

Image credit: missanthropy09 | missanthropy09
missanthropy09 | missanthropy09

Fair or foul? Commenter says NTA, suggests income-based expenses splitting.

Image credit: silly_sarahSG1 | silly_sarahSG1
silly_sarahSG1 | silly_sarahSG1

Man refuses to split finances with GF after past denial: NTA

Image credit: jocky300 | jocky300
jocky300 | jocky300

Keep finances separate until marriage, says commenter. NTA.

Image credit: historygirl1815 | historygirl1815
historygirl1815 | historygirl1815

Sharing finances is not necessary before marriage. Tit-for-tat is childish.

Image credit: unaotradesechable | unaotradesechable
unaotradesechable | unaotradesechable

NAH for sticking to initial decision, but need to discuss future.

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

User questions the wisdom of pooling finances with a girlfriend.

Image credit: niddlerrr | niddlerrr
niddlerrr | niddlerrr

NTA, but grow up and learn to let go of grudges.

Image credit: DaenyTheUnburnt | DaenyTheUnburnt
DaenyTheUnburnt | DaenyTheUnburnt

Honest conversation about finances is crucial for a healthy relationship.

Image credit: Expert_Raptor | Expert_Raptor
Expert_Raptor | Expert_Raptor

The grandmother’s advice on separate accounts is a great idea

Image credit: Who_Am_I_1978 | Who_Am_I_1978
Who_Am_I_1978 | Who_Am_I_1978

Karma is a b***h! Man refuses to split finances with ex-girlfriend.

Image credit: sassyourfrass | sassyourfrass
sassyourfrass | sassyourfrass

Financial support in a relationship can come in many forms

Image credit: mdubleyoo | mdubleyoo
mdubleyoo | mdubleyoo

Combining finances is not necessary in a relationship. NTA.

Image credit: angelmr2 | angelmr2
angelmr2 | angelmr2

Sharing finances is important in a healthy relationship. NTA.

Image credit: hindude13 | hindude13
hindude13 | hindude13

Discussing finances with a professional may save your relationship

Image credit: PenguinPeregrine | PenguinPeregrine
PenguinPeregrine | PenguinPeregrine

Culture plays a role in finances, but promotions can be rapid.

Image credit: nana7777777 | nana7777777
nana7777777 | nana7777777

Money troubles in a relationship. NAH, but red flag?

Image credit: EnterTheMunch | EnterTheMunch
EnterTheMunch | EnterTheMunch

A detailed breakdown of how to split finances in relationships

Image credit: snowdroptiger | snowdroptiger
snowdroptiger | snowdroptiger

Splitting finances after rejection: NTA but two wrongs don’t make right

Image credit: cdaisycrochet | cdaisycrochet
cdaisycrochet | cdaisycrochet

Discussing finances before marriage is important. Good advice!

Image credit: guitarguywh89 | guitarguywh89
guitarguywh89 | guitarguywh89

Sharing finances is not necessary for a successful relationship

Image credit: Klutzy-Oven | Klutzy-Oven
Klutzy-Oven | Klutzy-Oven

User agrees with the dad and advises to sign a pre-nup.

Image credit: Tinnitus_Maximouse | Tinnitus_Maximouse
Tinnitus_Maximouse | Tinnitus_Maximouse

NTA commenter advises man not to marry his girlfriend and take an exit now to avoid paying alimony later.

Image credit: ThrowAwayPregnant111 | ThrowAwayPregnant111
ThrowAwayPregnant111 | ThrowAwayPregnant111

NTA, don’t share finances. Polite rejection, no good reason to change.

Image credit: mfruitfly | mfruitfly
mfruitfly | mfruitfly

NTA but resentment and power dynamics can kill relationships.

Image credit: restlessbitchface | restlessbitchface
restlessbitchface | restlessbitchface

NTA. Splitting finances can lead to trouble. Your girlfriend’s motives?

Image credit: TheRandomWeird0 | TheRandomWeird0
TheRandomWeird0 | TheRandomWeird0

Fair or foul? Commenter questions division of household labor as currency.

Image credit: F_SR | F_SR
F_SR | F_SR

OP advises against combining finances before marriage, with a touch of humor

Image credit: leelougirl89 | leelougirl89
leelougirl89 | leelougirl89

Keep finances separate until marriage, pool 75% into joint account. NTA.

Image credit: botabought | botabought
botabought | botabought

Fair compromise or petty revenge? NTA refuses to split finances.

Image credit: GreenSlime- | GreenSlime-
GreenSlime- | GreenSlime-

Set up joint account with proportional split based on income. Don’t be petty.

Image credit: awkwardphoenix95 | awkwardphoenix95
awkwardphoenix95 | awkwardphoenix95

NTA suggests compromise for finances, recommends couples counseling for relationship.

Image credit: aliencatgrrr | aliencatgrrr
aliencatgrrr | aliencatgrrr

Should they split finances equally? ESH for being petty.

Image credit: Furious_Wolf_Taco | Furious_Wolf_Taco
Furious_Wolf_Taco | Furious_Wolf_Taco

Keep your finances separate to avoid relationship conflicts.

Image credit: Rbfam8191 | Rbfam8191
Rbfam8191 | Rbfam8191

Sharing finances can work with compromise and communication.

Image credit: Kjeldoriann | Kjeldoriann
Kjeldoriann | Kjeldoriann

Living with someone who tilts things in their favor? NTA

Image credit: LovedAJackass | LovedAJackass
LovedAJackass | LovedAJackass

Never combine finances, but if you’re keeping score, it’s over.

Image credit: cultqueennn | cultqueennn
cultqueennn | cultqueennn

Financial independence in relationships. NTA’s perspective.

Image credit: underhilloverhill | underhilloverhill
underhilloverhill | underhilloverhill

Seeking advice for a healthy relationship and finances

Image credit: risfun | risfun
risfun | risfun

NAH couple debates merging finances after 5 years together.

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Red flag alert! Commenter warns of GF’s narcissistic behavior.

Image credit: Tots795 | Tots795
Tots795 | Tots795

Consider a joint account for shared costs to avoid resentment

Image credit: OccludedOracle | OccludedOracle
OccludedOracle | OccludedOracle

NTA but keeping score isn’t good in relationships. Good communication is

Image credit: lolol69lolol | lolol69lolol
lolol69lolol | lolol69lolol

NAH – Open communication is key for a happy financial setup

Image credit: PleasantUnicorn | PleasantUnicorn
PleasantUnicorn | PleasantUnicorn

Pooling finances now makes more sense given Covid circumstances. NAH.

Image credit: Unicorns-at-Arbys | Unicorns-at-Arbys
Unicorns-at-Arbys | Unicorns-at-Arbys
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