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Man Refuses to Save More for Stepson than Future Child: Fair or Unfair?

by Diply Social Team
1 year ago
in Family
Reading Time: 14 mins read
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Picture this: a couple in a loving relationship, living together with the woman’s son from a previous relationship. The man has been urging his girlfriend to save money for her son’s future for years, but she never followed through. Now, the girlfriend is pregnant with their mutual child, and the man plans to set up savings accounts for both children. However, his girlfriend wants him to compensate her son for the years of savings he missed out on. The man stands firm, refusing to contribute more to the stepson’s account. Is he being fair or unfair? Let’s dive into this emotionally charged story.

The Loving Family Setup

Image credit: ashamed-arugula1956 | ashamed-arugula1956
ashamed-arugula1956 | ashamed-arugula1956

Full-Time Stepdad

Image credit: ashamed-arugula1956 | ashamed-arugula1956
ashamed-arugula1956 | ashamed-arugula1956

Deadbeat Dad Alert ⚠️

Image credit: ashamed-arugula1956 | ashamed-arugula1956
ashamed-arugula1956 | ashamed-arugula1956

The Savings Suggestion

Image credit: ashamed-arugula1956 | ashamed-arugula1956
ashamed-arugula1956 | ashamed-arugula1956

The Financial Arrangement

Image credit: ashamed-arugula1956 | ashamed-arugula1956
ashamed-arugula1956 | ashamed-arugula1956

Hoping for a Brighter Future

Image credit: ashamed-arugula1956 | ashamed-arugula1956
ashamed-arugula1956 | ashamed-arugula1956

The Girlfriend’s Inaction

Image credit: ashamed-arugula1956 | ashamed-arugula1956
ashamed-arugula1956 | ashamed-arugula1956

A New Baby on the Way!

Image credit: ashamed-arugula1956 | ashamed-arugula1956
ashamed-arugula1956 | ashamed-arugula1956

Equal Savings for Both Kids

Image credit: ashamed-arugula1956 | ashamed-arugula1956
ashamed-arugula1956 | ashamed-arugula1956

GF’s Compensation Request

Image credit: ashamed-arugula1956 | ashamed-arugula1956
ashamed-arugula1956 | ashamed-arugula1956

Standing Firm on His Decision ✊

Image credit: ashamed-arugula1956 | ashamed-arugula1956
ashamed-arugula1956 | ashamed-arugula1956

Equal Contributions Only

Image credit: ashamed-arugula1956 | ashamed-arugula1956
ashamed-arugula1956 | ashamed-arugula1956

Context: Free Country Benefits

Image credit: ashamed-arugula1956 | ashamed-arugula1956
ashamed-arugula1956 | ashamed-arugula1956

Savings for Luxuries, Not Necessities

Image credit: ashamed-arugula1956 | ashamed-arugula1956
ashamed-arugula1956 | ashamed-arugula1956

Equal Savings or Making Up for Lost Time?

In this emotionally charged story, a man has been urging his girlfriend to save for her son’s future for years, but she never took action. Now, with a new baby on the way, the man plans to set up savings accounts for both children, contributing equal amounts. However, his girlfriend wants him to compensate her son for the years of savings he missed out on. The man stands firm, refusing to contribute more to the stepson’s account. Is he being fair or unfair? Let’s see what the internet has to say about this dilemma…

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Fair and admirable approach to saving for both children.

Image credit: babybella92 | babybella92
babybella92 | babybella92

Stepson receives equal treatment as future child. NTA

Image credit: LumpiestEntree | LumpiestEntree
LumpiestEntree | LumpiestEntree

Stepson vs. Bio Child: Potential to Destroy Relationship

Image credit: SuitableVirus8 | SuitableVirus8
SuitableVirus8 | SuitableVirus8

Contributed suggested amount, wife chose not to, NTA

Image credit: ouroborosstruggles | ouroborosstruggles
ouroborosstruggles | ouroborosstruggles

Stepfather’s fair solution to save equally for all three children

Image credit: Hendrixsrv3527 | Hendrixsrv3527
Hendrixsrv3527 | Hendrixsrv3527

OP defends decision not to save more for stepson. NTA

Image credit: Pearcetheunicorn | Pearcetheunicorn
Pearcetheunicorn | Pearcetheunicorn

Questions raised about long-term financial plan for blended family.

Image credit: OkapiEli | OkapiEli
OkapiEli | OkapiEli

NTA for prioritizing own child, girlfriend needs financial education.

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Stepfather and mother both at fault for unequal savings accounts. ‍♂️

Image credit: ffs_srsly | ffs_srsly
ffs_srsly | ffs_srsly

ESH for not saving for stepson, risking resentment from older child.

Image credit: mschuster91 | mschuster91
mschuster91 | mschuster91

Stepson’s father figure suggests fair solution for savings discrepancy.

Image credit: Napaddicted | Napaddicted
Napaddicted | Napaddicted

User thinks OP is not completely innocent in the situation.

Image credit: emmaarrr | emmaarrr
emmaarrr | emmaarrr

Age gap drama in the comments

Image credit: gaykidkeyblader | gaykidkeyblader
gaykidkeyblader | gaykidkeyblader

Stepson or not, splitting savings equally is fair. NTA

Image credit: dnnmstw | dnnmstw
dnnmstw | dnnmstw

User calls out man for favoring future child over stepson

Image credit: dogswithpartyhats | dogswithpartyhats
dogswithpartyhats | dogswithpartyhats

Man refuses to save more for stepson, expects 19yo to be mature

Image credit: Annalirra | Annalirra
Annalirra | Annalirra

NTA commenter shares personal experience and supports fair treatment of both children.

Image credit: NotSoAverage_sister | NotSoAverage_sister
NotSoAverage_sister | NotSoAverage_sister

Stepson deserves equal treatment, consider long-term impact.

Image credit: No_Kaleidoscope_4580 | No_Kaleidoscope_4580
No_Kaleidoscope_4580 | No_Kaleidoscope_4580

Calling out questionable behavior and age gaps.

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Supportive comment, applauding for saving for both kids.

Image credit: Gab_dos | Gab_dos
Gab_dos | Gab_dos

NTA stands firm on stepson vs future child finances.

Image credit: Dramatic-Tell6810 | Dramatic-Tell6810
Dramatic-Tell6810 | Dramatic-Tell6810

Stepmom defends not financially supporting stepson.

Image credit: SuccotashSimple | SuccotashSimple
SuccotashSimple | SuccotashSimple

Wife’s lack of planning doesn’t make you TA.

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

NTA, but consider fixing the mistake for your son’s sake

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

NTA: Girlfriend’s entitlement over stepson’s savings is unfair.

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Starting early and treating all kids equally. Good job!

Image credit: OldSkoolUrb | OldSkoolUrb
OldSkoolUrb | OldSkoolUrb

NTA suggests fixed amount for stepson and future child.

Image credit: Ok_Cauliflower7364 | Ok_Cauliflower7364
Ok_Cauliflower7364 | Ok_Cauliflower7364

Grandparent sets up accounts for grandkids, oldest gets less. NTA.

Image credit: DRW1913 | DRW1913
DRW1913 | DRW1913

Fairness of saving for children discussed: action or goal oriented?

Image credit: agreywood | agreywood
agreywood | agreywood

NTA suggests GF should seek child support for her child.

Image credit: DoubleTroubleToo | DoubleTroubleToo
DoubleTroubleToo | DoubleTroubleToo

Sibling rivalry over college funds, but NTA prevails.

Image credit: Creatething | Creatething
Creatething | Creatething

NTA for managing finances differently for stepson and future child

Image credit: CommentThrowaway20 | CommentThrowaway20
CommentThrowaway20 | CommentThrowaway20

Why save for kids when they’ll just waste it?

Image credit: Ashamed-Arugula1956 | Ashamed-Arugula1956
Ashamed-Arugula1956 | Ashamed-Arugula1956

Grandparent’s will sparked family feud, commenter relates to stepson’s situation. NTA

Image credit: suspiciouslygrey | suspiciouslygrey
suspiciouslygrey | suspiciouslygrey

Starting college accounts for both kids, but not compensating interest.

Image credit: OpeningBeautiful6460 | OpeningBeautiful6460
OpeningBeautiful6460 | OpeningBeautiful6460

Defending stepfather’s decision to not save more for stepson.

Image credit: Oz365 | Oz365
Oz365 | Oz365

Equal savings for stepson and future child with freedom to choose.

Image credit: Jamie___May | Jamie___May
Jamie___May | Jamie___May

Stepson deserves equal financial support, YTA for punishing him.

Image credit: artichoke313 | artichoke313
artichoke313 | artichoke313

User calls out OP for lack of financial wisdom and stability

Image credit: Job_Moist | Job_Moist
Job_Moist | Job_Moist

Love knows no DNA. Treat all kids equally.

Image credit: hauntedmashedpotato | hauntedmashedpotato
hauntedmashedpotato | hauntedmashedpotato

Equal savings for both kids. NTA. Not your responsibility.

Image credit: ThinkerWhoTinkers | ThinkerWhoTinkers
ThinkerWhoTinkers | ThinkerWhoTinkers

Equal savings for both stepson and son. NTA, fair decision.

Image credit: Toby-pearse | Toby-pearse
Toby-pearse | Toby-pearse

Redditors deem OP TA for not saving equally for children

Image credit: techsupportlibrarian | techsupportlibrarian
techsupportlibrarian | techsupportlibrarian

Setting up separate accounts for each child is reasonable

Image credit: DanDeMarbre | DanDeMarbre
DanDeMarbre | DanDeMarbre

YTA for not treating stepson and future child equally

Image credit: kannasmirror | kannasmirror
kannasmirror | kannasmirror

Stepson deserves equal treatment. Don’t play favorites.

Image credit: chaquarius | chaquarius
chaquarius | chaquarius

Stepson is effectively your son, YTA for not saving for him.

Image credit: Ravitox | Ravitox
Ravitox | Ravitox

Step parents unfairly blamed for bio-parents’ failings. NTA OP

Image credit: Darthkhydaeus | Darthkhydaeus
Darthkhydaeus | Darthkhydaeus

Insensitive comment about single mothers.

Image credit: SHITLORDHERE | SHITLORDHERE
SHITLORDHERE | SHITLORDHERE

Dad blames mom for not planning stepson’s future.

Image credit: donnamayjs | donnamayjs
donnamayjs | donnamayjs

Stepson’s financial future not a priority for stepdad.

Image credit: Lightworthy09 | Lightworthy09
Lightworthy09 | Lightworthy09

Stepfather praised for treating stepson and future child equally.

Image credit: bigdaddy1835 | bigdaddy1835
bigdaddy1835 | bigdaddy1835

Treating both children equally, GF should have saved for son

Image credit: No_Proposal7628 | No_Proposal7628
No_Proposal7628 | No_Proposal7628

Equal savings for both kids, NTA. Don’t back-pay for stepson.

Image credit: cashan0va_007 | cashan0va_007
cashan0va_007 | cashan0va_007

Investing in a mutual fund can help your child’s future

Image credit: eleanorrigby220 | eleanorrigby220
eleanorrigby220 | eleanorrigby220

Compromise suggested for stepson’s college fund, avoiding future resentment

Image credit: JFKcheekkisser | JFKcheekkisser
JFKcheekkisser | JFKcheekkisser

NTA questions girlfriend’s maturity and age gap, refuses to save more.

Image credit: aitajudger | aitajudger
aitajudger | aitajudger

Saving unequally for children can create sibling rifts.

Image credit: Zehnfingerfaultier | Zehnfingerfaultier
Zehnfingerfaultier | Zehnfingerfaultier

Suggestion for a fair solution for both kids’ savings.

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Stepson’s financial support causing tension. NTA for setting boundaries.

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

YTA for prioritizing bio kid over step kid. ‍♂️

Image credit: Belle_Requin | Belle_Requin
Belle_Requin | Belle_Requin

Simplify the situation and give both kids the same amount.

Image credit: MsFrenchieFry | MsFrenchieFry
MsFrenchieFry | MsFrenchieFry

Equal savings for both children, NTA. Communication is key.

Image credit: Anon02450 | Anon02450
Anon02450 | Anon02450

Equal deposits for equal accounts, NTA according to commenter.

Image credit: fromhelley | fromhelley
fromhelley | fromhelley

Equal savings for stepson and future child. NTA

Image credit: QueenSupreme21 | QueenSupreme21
QueenSupreme21 | QueenSupreme21

NTA, but beware of potential jealousy between stepson and bio kid

Image credit: andandandetc | andandandetc
andandandetc | andandandetc

Parental favoritism debated: Commenter says YTA for unequal savings distribution

Image credit: SwissLad0 | SwissLad0
SwissLad0 | SwissLad0

NTA for not saving more for stepson, but be fair to future child

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Saving equally for both children can prevent future drama.

Image credit: Inner-Nothing7779 | Inner-Nothing7779
Inner-Nothing7779 | Inner-Nothing7779

Confusion and blame-shifting in financial decision-making.

Image credit: TheDoNothings | TheDoNothings
TheDoNothings | TheDoNothings

Skip college savings, invest in K-12 private school education?

Image credit: MrAvalanche1981 | MrAvalanche1981
MrAvalanche1981 | MrAvalanche1981

Stepson vs. Future Child: GF needs a reality check

Image credit: k-rizzle01 | k-rizzle01
k-rizzle01 | k-rizzle01

Setting up accounts for both kids. NTA.

Image credit: silent_whisper89 | silent_whisper89
silent_whisper89 | silent_whisper89

Stepson not entitled to more savings than future child. NTA

Image credit: Kat122697 | Kat122697
Kat122697 | Kat122697
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