Kids will believe pretty much anything their parents tell them. As adults, though, we learn that there were a lot of cases where our parents, older siblings, and relatives were kind of full of it.
On [Reddit]( https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/rwplig/what_were_the_dumbest_lies_you_believed_when_you/_ , the question, “What were the dumbest lies you believed when you were a kid?” was posed. The answers weren’t just hilarious, but surprisingly relatable.
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1. “When I was a child, I got upset after a button came off of my shirt.” – denrad
“My mother told me not to worry and that if I placed the button under a rock in the yard, the button fairy would replace it with a quarter.”
This is a lot like the tooth fairy, except way weirder. I wonder where they got the idea to put the button in the yard?
“I believed it, and to my mother’s dismay, she discovered I had pulled the buttons off of every shirt in my closet.”
“To this day, 40 years later, shirt buttons can still be found under random rocks in my parents’ backyard.”
I guess that’s the price you pay when your lie is a little too believable.
2. “I was told by my dad, when I was around 8-9, that ‘The people at the sewerage plant have been examining your poop, and need you to eat more fiber.'” – cowtownman75
Hey, anything to get your kids to eat more of the things they should be eating, right? Though, this particular lie is pretty ridiculous.
3. “My parents convinced us that the person knocking on our door on weekend nights when we were asleep was our uncle Shiloh stopping to say hello.” – smellslikeupdawg69
“We don’t have an uncle Shiloh. It was the pizza guy.”
The best part about this lie isn’t even the fact that these parents chose to sneak pizza into the house for themselves. It’s the fact that they specifically used the name Uncle Shiloh.
4. “I was 7 years old. One of my teachers wanted us to write a letter to a family member or friend or someone.” – GingerBeard73
“I wrote the letter. Got the envelope. Got the stamp. My mom had worked at the county jail at the time and she suggested I write one of the inmates who never got mail. So I did.”
That actually seems kind of nice.
“I wrote something along the lines of ‘I’m sorry you’re arrested but I hope you get out.’ I even signed it with my 7 year old signature.”
“While I was writing the letter my mom had left to get to the store. I asked my older brother what our address was because I needed to put a return address. He said:
“‘1600 Pennsylvania Ave Washington DC 20500.'”
In other words, this kid’s brother told him to write down the address to the White House.
“Years later I went to pick my mom up from work and one of the CO’s called me Mr. President and I asked why he said that.”
“He mentioned the letter I wrote years prior and how it was a joke in the jail any time my mom mentioned me.”
I wonder how long it took this guy to catch on to the fact that he did not, in fact, live in the White House.
5. “My grandmother told me that pinching gave cancer. I got pinched once at recess and yelled at the person because I thought they were going to give me cancer.” – ivumb
I was told something along those lines as a kid, too. I guess this is a pretty common lie parents and grandparents use to keep kids from hurting each other.
6. “One time when I was 5-6 I asked my brother how French fries where made And he told me: ‘they inject mashed potatoes into the skins of the fries with a syringe.'” – Octolingfighter
“I believed that until I saw my mom cooking home fries for breakfast one morning when I was 8.”
I… feel like I would’ve also believed this as a kid.
7. “When I was 6 my parents told me that when you flush from an airplane toilet, the waste gets dumped mid air into the ocean.” – madkubrick
“I believed that and told all my friends. Parents then told me they were joking and I became the class fool.”
Yeah… I guess kids don’t always understand when something’s said as a joke.
8. “My older brother pranked me once.” – Hysterical_Realist
” I had watched a kids’ TV show (I think it was The Electric Company ) that featured a guest star who was a tap dancer. My brother convinced me that tap dancers made their tapping sounds — not with their feet — but with their mouths.”
That is… one hilarious mental image.
“I spent the next several weeks trying to tap dance with my mouth noises before my mom made me quit.”
I feel like, after trying it one or two times, you’d catch on to the lie. But I guess this kid hoped all the hard work would pay off eventually.
9. “When my sister and I were kids, our mom lied and told us that she was a Grammy nominated and winning singer.” – kidsinthestreet
“She said that all of the trophies were in our attic, knowing that neither of us would ever go in and check for them.”
I feel like, unless this person grew up in a multi-million dollar mansion, they should’ve caught on to that pretty quickly.
“My sister and I bragged to all of our friends about it for years, only to discover that our mom isn’t a very good singer at all…”
“We’ve held this lie over her head for nearly 20 years now, so this past Christmas, we gifted her with a fake Grammy that has her name engraved and her favorite music category citing her as the winner of it. She laughed until she cried.”
Okay, the lie may have been random, but it ended up in a really nice holiday moment.
10 “When I was a kid I asked my dad if reading enough books really could give you Telekinesis… (Matilda)” – seeyouinthesun
“He said yes. I spent many years after that thinking I just wasn’t doing enough.”
This is one lie I really wish was true. Sigh …
11. “If you swallowed the black watermelon seeds a watermelon would grow in your belly.” – Kitchen-Commission47
This is another one of those lies that pretty much every kid is told. I don’t know about you, but it made me afraid to eat watermelon for years!
12. “My mom convinced us she had eyes in the back of her head.” – Dr_Dabbles
“She could tell us what we were doing in the living room while working in the kitchen facing away from us. We’d test it even further by doing the ‘how many fingers am I holding up?’ test and she’d get it right every time.”
Okay, so this person’s mom is psychic. Good to know…
“So all little kid evidence concluded that mom did in fact have eyes in the back of her head.”
“It wasn’t until I was much older that I randomly noticed the crystal clear reflection in the kitchen window my mom could always see.”
I’m not going to lie, this was pretty genius on the mom’s part. It almost had me fooled, too.
13. “The rumble stripes on the side of the road are there to help people who are blind drive.” – wackyseed
Logically, that doesn’t make any sense. But at the same time, I feel like a lot of people don’t actually know what they’re for anyway. (Hint: they’re to keep distracted drivers from swerving off the road.)
14. “Sometimes when we asked for McDonalds my dad would say no but turn in anyway and say the car was doing it by itself.” – childofthefall
“I believed him every time and thought the car was just my homie.”
This is what happens when you want to be a responsible parent, but at the same time you could really go for some chicken nuggets.