Family Tradition or Unfair Burden? One Cousin’s Struggle to Balance Care and Connection

We all know that family gatherings can be a mix of joy, laughter, and sometimes a little drama. But what happens when one family member is expected to shoulder the responsibility of caring for a disabled cousin, while everyone else gets to catch up and enjoy themselves? This is the story of a nonbinary individual in their late 20s who has been taking care of their disabled cousin, John, at family gatherings for years. Now, they’re asking if it’s time for a change. ‍♀️ ‍ ‍ ‍

The Cousin in Question: Meet John

A Childhood of Caretaking

John’s Love for Repetition

A Desire for Connection

Occupied All Day Long

Taking a Stand ☕

John’s Reaction

Parents’ Disapproval

Tradition vs. Fairness ‍♀️

Seeking Balance ⚖️

A Reasonable Request? ️

Selfish or Justified?

Is Change in the Air? ️

After years of being the designated caretaker for their disabled cousin John at family gatherings, our nonbinary friend wants to share the responsibility with other family members. They simply want to catch up with their married cousins and enjoy some adult conversation. However, their parents label them as selfish and insist it’s tradition for them to care for John. Is it fair to expect one person to shoulder the responsibility, or is it time for the family to adapt and share the care? Let’s see what the internet has to say about this delicate situation…

Standing up for oneself in family traditions.

Breaking tradition to prioritize personal needs and boundaries.

Don’t let them make you feel guilty for setting boundaries.

Father of disabled child defends OP’s decision to not be caregiver

Family tradition or unfair burden? NTA cousin refuses to be doormat

No more free babysitting! NTA cousin takes a stand

Excluded cousin stands up for herself and faces family backlash

Opting out of family gatherings to avoid babysitting.

Cousin’s party tradition or unfair burden? NTA for setting boundaries.

Unpaid caregiving can strain family relationships.

Fair solution proposed to share responsibility of entertaining cousin. NTA

NTA. Family tradition or unfair burden? Providing free care is not a tradition.

Don’t let ‘tradition’ guilt you into being a caretaker forever

Balancing care and connection with family can lead to resentment.

Balancing care and connection: One cousin’s fair request

Designated babysitter? NTA. Take a break from family gatherings.

Stand up for yourself and start a new tradition.

Family excludes cousin with disability, NTA for feeling frustrated

NTA comment calls out family tradition and suggests skipping gatherings.

Family comes first, but boundaries are important.

Breaking family tradition: NTA cousin deserves to attend events too!

Sharing the burden or charging them? NTA cousin dilemma

Breaking tradition for fairness and connection. NTA stands firm.

Boundaries are important! You’re not responsible for others’ care.

Sharing the love shouldn’t make you the a**hole.

Don’t be a family nursemaid NTA takes a stand

Caring for disabled relatives can be overwhelming. NTA for wanting rest

NTA for refusing to be a caregiver. Don’t let them bully you.

Breaking down societal expectations and gender roles in family care.

Setting boundaries with family for fair care responsibilities.

Fighting family expectations, prioritizing cousin’s well-being.

Balancing family care and connection. NTA offers help and gratitude.

After years of caregiving, it’s okay to ask for help. NTA.

Sharing responsibility for family traditions – NTA wins

Balancing family tradition with personal boundaries.

Avoid family gatherings to make them realize your value

Boycott family gatherings until they take on their fair share

Setting boundaries with family care without being the a**hole

Don’t let family guilt trip you into being a caregiver.

Being the designated caregiver can be a thankless job.

Balancing family care and connection, NTA stands up for self.

Caretaker or family? ‍♀️ Heartbreaking situation for this NTA commenter.

NTA cousin feels burdened by family tradition, sets healthy boundary

Breaking tradition for self-care and boundaries.

Setting boundaries with family traditions

Balancing care and connection. NTA for setting boundaries.

Family tradition or unfair burden? NTA. Incredible audacity of family.

Breaking down the cruelty of family ‘traditions’ ‍♀️

Breaking family traditions: NTA for wanting to spend time elsewhere

Starting a new tradition : NTA, don’t let them burden you.

Deserving of adult time after years of watching cousin. #NTA

Defending against unfair burden accusations. NTA

Defending against accusations of selfishness with NTA verdict

Setting boundaries is important for self-care

Prioritizing ourselves is okay! (NTA comment)

Standing your ground on unfair family tradition. NTA.

Breaking down the weaponization of ‘tradition’. NTA, OP!

Family drama and blame-shifting. NTA for setting boundaries.

Family takes advantage of free caregiver. NTA for setting boundaries.

Boundaries are important. NTA for setting them with family.

Balancing family care and connection without being taken advantage of.

Don’t let family obligations take over your life. NTA

Tradition vs. Responsibility: Navigating Family Expectations

Breaking tradition: NTA wants to connect, not babysit cousin John.

Don’t underestimate John. He’s family and everyone can help.

NTA. Grandson’s care is parents’ responsibility. Heartwarming family tradition shared.

Breaking the cycle of foisting caretakers, promote inclusivity and interaction. ✊

Take a break from family gatherings, visit relatives separately

Skipping family gatherings to avoid caregiving? NTA