When a couple is ready to take their relationship to the next level, you’re likely to see a real romantic in your life start sweating over how they’re going to propose to their beloved.
And considering how special and personal we want to make a gesture like that for the people we love, it can be a stressful time that encourages us to build up grand, elaborate plans in our heads.
However, if those plans involve making a grand declaration of love in front of a whole bunch of people, there’s a pretty good chance that the soul dreaming them up is only setting themselves up for failure.
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Public proposals have a way of crashing and burning quickly.
While it always hurts to hear “no” to a marriage proposal, the embarrassment has to triple when multiple people can say they have a front-row seat to your rejection.
And although they might not all end as badly as the one unfolding here, it would still be pretty hard not to feel like this guy if things don’t work out.
And even if the proposal seems to work out at first, you may face a different story by the time you get back home.
One thing I’ve noticed is that when someone turns down a public proposal, you’re almost certain to see some critics come out of the woodwork and say that person should have said “yes” at the time and then said “no” privately later.
While it’s hard not to roll my eyes at the idea that these folks would know exactly what they’d do after being put on the spot like that, I have to admit they do have a point.
Namely, that it’s hard to know how many public proposals that appear to work out only seemed that way because the person accepting it simply wanted to save them both some embarrassment.
And there’s one big reason why either of these outcomes have become likely scenarios.
Public proposals put an insane amount of pressure on the person they’re directed at.
Some would go as far to say that they’re manipulative because this pressure reads as an attempt to coerce a “yes” out of someone.
I’m more willing to give people’s intentions the benefit of the doubt when they do this, but I will say that a public proposal entails putting their partner in a pretty undesirable situation whether they mean to or not.
And to illustrate this point, have a look at how this woman reacts to her boyfriend’s proposal. Notice the way she’s looking around and her hands are shaking? This is clearly an overwhelming situation for her that she wants to get away from as quickly as possible.
So even if someone was previously open to marriage, that sudden shock and pressure makes it a lot easier to suddenly be filled with doubt.
Worse yet, how many couples have you heard of that stayed together after a failed stunt like that?
When a private proposal is rejected, there’s a chance that it’s just not the right time or that a partner wants to have a fulfilling and meaningful relationship in a way that doesn’t necessarily involve marriage.
But it seems that the fallout from a failed public proposal ends with a couple nuking the whole relationship more often than not.
So while I can appreciate that someone may want to let everyone feel like they had a part in a special moment, that reward just doesn’t measure up to the incredibly high risk of trying something like this.
Because although it’s probably not fair to say public proposals never work out, that seems akin to saying “nobody ever wins the lottery.”
Just because it could happen, that doesn’t mean the odds aren’t against you.
