Unsplash | Naomi Hébert

19 Cooking Crimes People Have Witnessed In The Kitchen

If you can't take the heat, stay out of the kitchen.

To add to that: if you can't cook, stay out of the kitchen!

That's because the internet has been privy to far too many kitchen nightmares. Some are even worse than the ones people send to Gordon Ramsay!

For a little lesson on what not to do, here are 19 cooking crimes people witnessed in the kitchen.

Soggy fried chicken

Unsplash | Shardar Tarikul Islam

This Redditor's father-in-law makes a mockery out of fried chicken by coating chicken in flour without ANY seasoning and then "frying" it in an inch of cold oil in a nonstick pan.

This results in soggy, oily chicken on one side while the other is steamed without breading because he only flips it at the very end...

Litterbox lasanga

Unsplash | Litter Robot

"Was at a friends house. We were making lasagna. Realized the only lasagna pan he had was being used as a litter box. He [expletive] washed it out with a little soap and then proceeded to start layering." - u/um8medoit

Chicken a la salmonella

Some people just shouldn't cook. This Redditor brought raw chicken with marinade to a cookout.

The host of the party aka the devil cooked the chicken and then put it back in the SAME container that had the raw chicken in it!

Vanilla eggs


"My wife was making a breakfast egg bake dish. Recipe called for some milk. We were out so she used French vanilla coffee creamer. It. Was. Disgusting. The kitchen smelled like vanilla eggs for hours." - u/cricky101

The bacteria "seal"

You learn a lot about someone's cooking habits when you live with them. That's how this Redditor discovered that their ex and his mother believed that bacteria couldn't get through "the seal" of the oven...

So whenever they made fried chicken, they would store it in the cold oven for days because they believed that the fridge would "just make it soggy."

Pizza with pepperoni and food poisoning

Unsplash | Rahul Upadhyay

"My ex-wife was perfectly fine with leaving pizza out on the counter for days if it was still in the box. She used the microwave in a similar way, thinking that somehow it was insulated and would hold it warm. I’m shocked that people don’t end up give themselves food poisoning more often." - u/Mumblerumble

Kraft Mac and Cheese water

Even though Kraft Dinner is one of the easiest things to make, people still get it wrong. Case in point: this Redditor's brother-in-law puts the Kraft cheese powder mix in with the boiling water and macaroni...

Steak with orange soda

Unsplash | Kyle Mackie

Most normal people make steak with butter and herbs. But this Redditor's friend?

They used to make it with butter and orange soda. WHY?! Thankfully, the heat must've burned off any of this strange flavoring since the Redditor said that it tasted "fine."

Taco Tuesday (unseasoned)

"My dad never put an ounce of seasoning on anything. Not even salt. Not even oil. Do you know how sad it is to eat tacos when those tacos contain ground beef that was just browned, with not even a pinch of salt added?" -u/SlashRingingHash

The fish enchiladas

Unsplash | Viktor Ritsvall

Forget chicken enchiladas — one woman makes a fish version... After bragging about her recipe, her co-worker decided to see how she made it.

When she arrived, the co-worker happily showed off how she would buy fried fish strips from Long John Silver's, wrap them in flour tortillas, drown them in tartar sauce, and then bake the whole thing into a "warm pile of grey sludge."

Salad with a side of germs

"I had a friend invite me over for lunch, they were making a salad and tearing the lettuce by hand but kept wiping their nose on the back of their hand while they were breaking up the lettuce leaves." - u/Sirius_Feline

Eggs poached in oil

Unsplash | David B Townsend

Bad roommates are the worst. This Redditor had a roommate who ruined all their pans by frying four eggs in a 1/4 cup of oil.

That's not even the worst part... he would put the cold oil in a cold pan and add the cold eggs and turn the burner on high.

The nail jam


"A colleague brought everyone in the office a small loaf of homemade bread as a holiday gift. I went to thank him and during the conversation he told me how clean his family’s nails were AFTER making it. 😳 I felt really bad throwing it out." - u/Artsap123

The butcher

This Redditor's dad refuses to learn how to use knives. Instead, he uses a cleaver to hack at chicken legs to use for stews. Since the bone shards always get in the food, this Redditor has hurt his tooth countless times.

The greaseless burger meat

Unsplash | amirali mirhashemian

"My wife invited a friend over for taco night and she offered to take care of the ground beef. she would keep adding water to rinse off the fat from the burger until it was greaseless. Couldn't believe it but fortunately I made smoked barbacoa so I didn't even try it." -u/mountain_man36

The "vegetarian chili"

This Redditor's former roommate loved to make "vegetarian chili" once a week. "Chili" is a stretch, though, since he never washed the dry beans.

Instead, he would pour it straight from the bag, dust and all. Doing this eventually caused him an emergency dentist appointment since he bit down on a stone from his chili.

The milk carton

Unsplash | Eiliv-Sonas Aceron

The first time this Redditor had dinner with his girlfriend's family was interesting to say the least.

Everyone had milk to drink with their meal. Aferward, they poured whatever milk was half drunk back into the milk carton...

The leftovers

Unsplash | Sigmund

"My roommate would leave leftovers out for days 'they’re already cooked no need to refrigerate it' then wonder why it’s moldy 3 days later. Or would get extra things from takeout and leave them on the table for later. Days later." -u/MrGoetz34

The egg cheerios

"A few years ago at work, I saw someone make a bowl of cheerios with milk...and then they topped it with hard boiled eggs. The horror on my face..." -u/WhoIsYerWan. Excuse us while we PUKE.

H/T: Reddit