30 Pics For People Who Like Their Humor Dark

One person in the comments worryingly pointed out, "You may be on the wrong side of the desk."

I always hate it when you have to cut the denim pants off your steak at a restaurant as well.

"He's been awful quiet since you have him back."

"Well it'd be weird if he made a noise!"

"What...?"

"How will we know to be worried about fires without this sign? Also, can you smell cooking meat, Dave?"

*Dave sizzles...

If you're looking to injure a child or elderly person then you now know where to head!

Okay, so when I read this I couldn't stop laughing as I thought they were referring to people's skin as "thin crust." I've never thought of people as having crusts before.

"We do have a cheaper option."

"I think I'm good for the cheaper alternative thanks..."

Maybe this store should do a more thorough background check on the person who put this up.

Yep, that is a pretty comprehensive guide as to where you should pet a bear...nowhere.

Thank God for those little smiley faces, without them I'd be a little nervous about that sign!

I am assuming that this boat runs on nothing but vodka and cheap beer?

Whatever happened here, I am very glad that this sign now exists! You'd have thought that a lot of people would have seen this danger though.

No one wants to become soup. Actually, there's probably people out there who do want that, but that's beside the point.

"Hello everyone, I just thought I'd introduce you to our new marketing executive, Mr. Death."

"Hi everyone, just call me Brian as Mr. Death was my father. I've been absolutely dying to meet you all!"

Parting with a dead pet can be very hard, but I don't think I'd like the idea of having them stuffed so I could carry them around with me everywhere.

I only use ethically sourced skulls. I mean, I grew the one I'm using myself!

People really will try and turn absolutely anything into a family attraction nowadays.

I think that their brother should maybe look into running as a new hobby to take up as well!

So, you want me to suffer for a few hours every week at the gym so that I can prolong the suffering that is the daily drudgery of life, you say? Where do I sign up?

If this is a low-key pitch for a Gnomeo & Juliet — Jurassic Park crossover flick, I'm sold. Didn't even know I needed that in my life until just this moment.

I thought fortune cookies were just supposed to give you some fun, vague speculation on the future like a horoscope at the end of a meal, not give you an existential crisis.

Someone with a family of similar sensibilities added, "My grandma faked her own death once in front of my mother. Morbid but hilarious."

Now I really want to know what subject this is for — really, in what class do you need to speculate on the fleshy pudding form a human would take on without any bones?

Uh, unless they've made a drastic change to the menu, this Wendy's might want to consider re-phrasing. The meat in the chili has always been a bit suspect, but not that suspect, y'know?

Wonder if this person is headed off to celebrate with a banana split, because hey, you may as well, right?

Just in case anybody was wondering how the high school goths turned out — yep, at least one of them managed to get a good job without having to sacrifice their gloomy ways.

This is a pretty unique tattoo, not everyone could rock this! Another person added, "Both I and my son have the same two toes as you, but on both feet, stuck together. He calls them 'twin toes.'"

Wow, if any sign is worse than that Wendy's sign, it's this one. Really wish someone had stopped to read it out loud before putting it up.

There are so, so many other, better ways they could have described pickled eggs. Makes you wonder if they sell more this way or not, though, doesn't it?

Feels like maybe that fortune cookie writer is branching out into new mediums to get their bring-down realism to the masses.