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Woman’s Home-Buying Dilemma Sparks Controversy: Boyfriend or Mortgage First?

by Diply Social Team
2 years ago
in Family
Reading Time: 15 mins read
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Meet our 29-year-old heroine, who finds herself in a pickle that’s as sour as it gets. She’s moved back to her small hometown from the big city, chasing a better job and the comforting proximity of family. But there’s a twist in the tale – her 30-year-old boyfriend, still in the city, and their rented townhome. As she navigates the treacherous waters of a terrible buyer’s market, she stumbles upon a house she falls head over heels for. But it’s out of her budget. Enter her knight in shining armor – her dad, who offers to help with the down payment. But then, the plot thickens as her boyfriend makes a surprising demand…

The Big Move and a Bigger Dilemma

Image credit: larry_theaccountant | larry_theaccountant
larry_theaccountant | larry_theaccountant

The Boyfriend’s Stance ️

Image credit: larry_theaccountant | larry_theaccountant
larry_theaccountant | larry_theaccountant

The House Hunt Begins

Image credit: larry_theaccountant | larry_theaccountant
larry_theaccountant | larry_theaccountant

The Dream House and a Generous Offer

Image credit: larry_theaccountant | larry_theaccountant
larry_theaccountant | larry_theaccountant

The Boyfriend’s Unexpected Demand

Image credit: larry_theaccountant | larry_theaccountant
larry_theaccountant | larry_theaccountant

The Boyfriend’s Concerns and Our Heroine’s Dilemma ‍♀️

Image credit: larry_theaccountant | larry_theaccountant
larry_theaccountant | larry_theaccountant

A Controlling Situation or a Misunderstanding?

Image credit: larry_theaccountant | larry_theaccountant
larry_theaccountant | larry_theaccountant

The Marriage Question

Image credit: larry_theaccountant | larry_theaccountant
larry_theaccountant | larry_theaccountant

The Generous Gift and a Grateful Daughter ‍

Image credit: larry_theaccountant | larry_theaccountant
larry_theaccountant | larry_theaccountant

The Unworthy Feeling and a Personal Issue

Image credit: larry_theaccountant | larry_theaccountant
larry_theaccountant | larry_theaccountant

A Home-Buying Journey Turns into a Relationship Test: Who’s Right, Who’s Wrong?

Our 29-year-old protagonist’s journey from city life back to her small-town roots takes a dramatic turn when she decides to buy a house. As she battles the harsh realities of a terrible buyer’s market, she finds a house she adores but can’t afford. Her father steps in, generously offering to help with the down payment. But the plot thickens when her boyfriend, still in the city, insists on having his name on the mortgage, despite not contributing to the down payment. He also voices concerns about moving to an area they might not like. Is he being controlling or just cautious? And why can’t he wait until they’re married to be on the mortgage? The internet has some thoughts on this…

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Days From Dream Wedding To Tragedy – Now They’re Fighting Over Her Ring

NTA: Boyfriend should contribute before being added to mortgage.

Image credit: Cherrygrove-elk | Cherrygrove-elk
Cherrygrove-elk | Cherrygrove-elk

NTA. Don’t let your controlling BF ruin your home ownership

Image credit: zippy_zaboo | zippy_zaboo
zippy_zaboo | zippy_zaboo

Don’t put his name in the deed! Protect your assets!

Image credit: acer64 | acer64
acer64 | acer64

Protect yourself! Don’t put anyone on a mortgage without marriage

Image credit: Agreeable-Tale9729 | Agreeable-Tale9729
Agreeable-Tale9729 | Agreeable-Tale9729

NAH: Boyfriend’s concerns about home-buying and decision-making are valid

Image credit: Dangerous_Prize_4545 | Dangerous_Prize_4545
Dangerous_Prize_4545 | Dangerous_Prize_4545

Dump the boyfriend if he won’t pay rent or contribute.

Image credit: DarmokTheNinja | DarmokTheNinja
DarmokTheNinja | DarmokTheNinja

“NAH vs ESH: The Home-Buying Dilemma – Rent or Buy? “

Image credit: Usrname52 | Usrname52
Usrname52 | Usrname52

Boyfriend wants mortgage without contributing, prioritize father and house.

Image credit: HCIBSW | HCIBSW
HCIBSW | HCIBSW

Take control of your own decisions and prioritize your happiness.

Image credit: Iron_winged_monarch | Iron_winged_monarch
Iron_winged_monarch | Iron_winged_monarch

NTA. Throw him away and buy a ring for yourself

Image credit: rosearmada | rosearmada
rosearmada | rosearmada

Protect your assets! Don’t put his name on the mortgage!

Image credit: BlueLightningyt | BlueLightningyt
BlueLightningyt | BlueLightningyt

Red flags and confusion: Is she ready for engagement?

Image credit: couldwedance | couldwedance
couldwedance | couldwedance

NTA. Boyfriend wants free ride on mortgage, but not rent?

Image credit: rusalkamaya | rusalkamaya
rusalkamaya | rusalkamaya

NTA: Boyfriend wants half ownership of YOUR house for free?

Image credit: BeringC | BeringC
BeringC | BeringC

“NTA. Don’t put his name on anything if he’s not contributing financially.”

Image credit: handwritten_emojis | handwritten_emojis
handwritten_emojis | handwritten_emojis

ESH: Communication is key! Stop steam-rolling and start discussing together.

Image credit: Didusayyutes | Didusayyutes
Didusayyutes | Didusayyutes

NTA: Protect your assets, avoid financial entanglements with partners.

Image credit: wind-river7 | wind-river7
wind-river7 | wind-river7

NAH: Boyfriend’s concerns about mortgage and future security are valid

Image credit: MapOfProblematique | MapOfProblematique
MapOfProblematique | MapOfProblematique

NTA. Boyfriend shouldn’t be on mortgage. No rent, no move-in.

Image credit: DannyBigD | DannyBigD
DannyBigD | DannyBigD

Dad’s loan dilemma: NTA for standing up to boyfriend, but what about dad?

Image credit: nekpeasant | nekpeasant
nekpeasant | nekpeasant

Is the rent less than what he’s been paying?

Image credit: ZerafineNigou | ZerafineNigou
ZerafineNigou | ZerafineNigou

Don’t put his name on the mortgage! Dump him!

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

NTA: Boyfriend should pay rent, not be on the mortgage.

Image credit: princessofperky | princessofperky
princessofperky | princessofperky

Independent living or shared expenses? NTA takes a stand!

Image credit: NefariousnessGlum424 | NefariousnessGlum424
NefariousnessGlum424 | NefariousnessGlum424

NTA. Marriage before mortgage, he should pay rent like everyone else.

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

NTA: Protect your assets and consult a lawyer before buying.

Image credit: FleurVellichor | FleurVellichor
FleurVellichor | FleurVellichor

Rent or buy? A tough decision with low interest rates.

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

NTA: Boyfriend’s contribution to mortgage and rent sparks debate.

Image credit: dr-sparkle | dr-sparkle
dr-sparkle | dr-sparkle

NTA: Boyfriend wants control. Don’t move him in without rent.

Image credit: Thyumos | Thyumos
Thyumos | Thyumos

Boyfriend wants ownership but won’t contribute? NTA, kick him out!

Image credit: brokenhousewife_ | brokenhousewife_
brokenhousewife_ | brokenhousewife_

Not the a**hole! Share your thoughts on her dilemma!

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

NTA. Boyfriend’s control over mortgage is worrisome. Watch for signs.

Image credit: PNWPainter02 | PNWPainter02
PNWPainter02 | PNWPainter02

NTA. Don’t let him move in without a formal agreement.

Image credit: Special_Respond7372 | Special_Respond7372
Special_Respond7372 | Special_Respond7372

NTA. Concerning boyfriend wants a free ride on mortgage.

Image credit: agarrabrant | agarrabrant
agarrabrant | agarrabrant

Take charge of your future! Don’t settle for ultimatums.

Image credit: CptBloodyObvious | CptBloodyObvious
CptBloodyObvious | CptBloodyObvious

NTA: Boyfriend wants ownership but won’t contribute? Unfair situation!

Image credit: Any_Cantaloupe_613 | Any_Cantaloupe_613
Any_Cantaloupe_613 | Any_Cantaloupe_613

NTA: Boyfriend wants mortgage benefits without contributing. Unfair or not?

Image credit: UnderEasyWater | UnderEasyWater
UnderEasyWater | UnderEasyWater

Boyfriend’s controlling behavior sparks debate over home-buying decisions.

Image credit: LockSea8204 | LockSea8204
LockSea8204 | LockSea8204

NTA: Your house, your rules. BF needs to wise up.

Image credit: Adept_Ad_4369 | Adept_Ad_4369
Adept_Ad_4369 | Adept_Ad_4369

NTA! Keep him off the mortgage! Let him pay his share.

Image credit: Bozobozo111 | Bozobozo111
Bozobozo111 | Bozobozo111

NTA! Don’t let ultimatums ruin your dream house

Image credit: WillLoveCoffee4Ever1 | WillLoveCoffee4Ever1
WillLoveCoffee4Ever1 | WillLoveCoffee4Ever1

NTA. Similar situation, boyfriend paid rent and was happy about it

Image credit: redralphie | redralphie
redralphie | redralphie

Don’t put him on the deed! Set boundaries and prioritize yourself.

Image credit: tacocat8675 | tacocat8675
tacocat8675 | tacocat8675

Wedding first, then mortgage? The importance of clear financial agreements.

Image credit: TastyHome8183 | TastyHome8183
TastyHome8183 | TastyHome8183

Solving the dilemma: boyfriend’s rent or independence?

Image credit: Emotional-Ebb8321 | Emotional-Ebb8321
Emotional-Ebb8321 | Emotional-Ebb8321

NTA: Boyfriend won’t contribute to house, but expects free ride.

Image credit: dawno64 | dawno64
dawno64 | dawno64

NTA: Confusing deed and mortgage, boyfriend’s commitment issues, and red flags.

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

NTA – Sensible decision, he should contribute financially.

Image credit: Betweentheminds | Betweentheminds
Betweentheminds | Betweentheminds

NTA. Protect yourself legally before moving in with your boyfriend.

Image credit: pinguthegreek | pinguthegreek
pinguthegreek | pinguthegreek

Stand your ground! Get a roommate and save your money!

Image credit: Demirep77 | Demirep77
Demirep77 | Demirep77

Separate mortgage and title, protect your assets with a pre-nup.

Image credit: junigloomy | junigloomy
junigloomy | junigloomy

“NTA – If he won’t contribute financially, he can’t live here.”

Image credit: ohnozaddy | ohnozaddy
ohnozaddy | ohnozaddy

Supportive parent prioritizes children’s home-buying over non-spouse mortgage.

Image credit: workinkindofhard | workinkindofhard
workinkindofhard | workinkindofhard

Follow your dreams! Get your dream house and live separately!

Image credit: mdthomas | mdthomas
mdthomas | mdthomas

Equal contributions needed for house ownership. Rent ≠ mortgage payments.

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Boyfriend wants name on house without contributing money? NTA!

Image credit: pookguyinc | pookguyinc
pookguyinc | pookguyinc

Massive red flag: Boyfriend wants claim to property without contributing. NTA.

Image credit: mrekon123 | mrekon123
mrekon123 | mrekon123

Don’t cave in! Financial abuse is a red flag

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Don’t let him have his cake and eat it too!

Image credit: sashaopinion | sashaopinion
sashaopinion | sashaopinion

NTA: Don’t let him mooch off your house without commitment!

Image credit: _sushifreak | _sushifreak
_sushifreak | _sushifreak

NTA… Dump him if he won’t pay his way!

Image credit: OhioGirl22 | OhioGirl22
OhioGirl22 | OhioGirl22

NTA. Offer solutions: add him to deed or draw up contract.

Image credit: AnyConference4593 | AnyConference4593
AnyConference4593 | AnyConference4593

Logical decision to prioritize personal goals before marriage.

Image credit: No_Solid_9151 | No_Solid_9151
No_Solid_9151 | No_Solid_9151

NTA- Boyfriend not contributing financially, no say. Get a prenup.

Image credit: Frequent_District174 | Frequent_District174
Frequent_District174 | Frequent_District174

NTA: Boyfriend should contribute to down payment for mortgage.

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Engaging caption: Partner’s input matters too!

Image credit: throwaway483638 | throwaway483638
throwaway483638 | throwaway483638

Dump the user! Find a mortgage, not a deadbeat boyfriend.

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

NTA. Protect yourself financially and stand your ground.

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Smart move! Buying is the way to go.

Image credit: kochenta2020 | kochenta2020
kochenta2020 | kochenta2020

NTA: Boyfriend doesn’t contribute, he doesn’t deserve equity.

Image credit: NarrativeScorpion | NarrativeScorpion
NarrativeScorpion | NarrativeScorpion

NTA. Boyfriend needs to contribute financially.

Image credit: FormerFruit | FormerFruit
FormerFruit | FormerFruit

Protect yourself! Get a rental agreement before moving in together.

Image credit: irisheyes1997 | irisheyes1997
irisheyes1997 | irisheyes1997

ESH except you. Dad shouldn’t insist on your financial decisions. Boyfriend wants equity. Complicated breakup.

Image credit: Raddatatta | Raddatatta
Raddatatta | Raddatatta

NTA! Boyfriend should pay dad back before being added to title.

Image credit: fromhelley | fromhelley
fromhelley | fromhelley

Protect your assets: Don’t rush into joint ownership!

Image credit: jluvdc26 | jluvdc26
jluvdc26 | jluvdc26

NTA suggests boyfriend should try his own advice with landlord

Image credit: HellPika666 | HellPika666
HellPika666 | HellPika666

Father’s help makes home ownership possible for some. #NTA

Image credit: neworderfan | neworderfan
neworderfan | neworderfan

Moving in together? Not so fast! NAH, take it slow.

Image credit: SociallyAwkardTurtle | SociallyAwkardTurtle
SociallyAwkardTurtle | SociallyAwkardTurtle

Consider your own wishes and make the decision that suits you!

Image credit: peace-invader | peace-invader
peace-invader | peace-invader
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