If there’s one thing jealous boyfriends and girlfriends like, it’s control.
They like to exert this whenever they can, even if it’s in insane ways, like making their partner wear a t-shirt with their face on it or by providing a list of rules.
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The latter is what happened to one TikToker recently.
TW: This article covers emotional abuse and may be triggering to some readers .
There are many cases of partners taking “control” to the EXTREME.
Take this boyfriend who texted his girlfriend, Zoe Scholefield, 12 rules she had to follow while at a music festival with her friends.
I bet you can tell where all of this is going to go.
She explained that he had the audacity to do this while cheating on her.
The screenshot shared by Zoe showed a numbered list of the insane rules he expected her to follow.
As if that’s where her head is going to be while she’s at a music festival.
While it included some rules that made sense, like don’t get too drunk and look after your drink at all times, others were pretty ridiculous.
This included not dancing “like a slag in reflex.”
She wasn’t allowed to talk to boys, either. If they came up to her, she had to say that she has a boyfriend.
It also specified that she had to send her photos of her outfits so he could approve it. People online were baffled by his controlling behavior.
“Your boyfriend was a control freak by looks of it,” one user wrote.
“Absolute toxic behaviour,” tweeted another.
These rules were a lot similar to this next story by TikTok user @ccarollynn. Her now-deleted video showed the list of “rules” her ex-boyfriend sent her before she left for college.
She captioned the viral video, “I wish I was joking.”
In the vid, she read through each individual rule and provided her thoughts on them.
For instance, one rule read, “Do not come in contact with boys by 25 or more feet.”
Literally, just by living in the world in general, that is impossible to do.
She’d need to be in a very, very big bubble to have that happen.
Another said that all outfits had to be approved by him and her mom.
“I don’t see what you or your mom have to do with what I wear, thanks,” she commented.
Another banned her from wearing crop tops and tight clothing: “No more sports bras I guess, because they’re a little tight,” she said.
Many users were horrified by the ex-boyfriend’s demanding rules.
“This is not just insecure this is abusive,” one wrote. “This whole thing breaks my heart, I’m glad you got out of that,” added another.
A third couldn’t get over the outfit rule: “I can’t decide which one is the worst, but it’s got to be the fact he would be rating your everyday outfits with his mum.”
Most of the rules sought to deprive her of a traditional college experience.
For instance, “Absolutely no drinking, no frat parties, house parties, or dorm parties, and no wearing other boys’ clothes.” She also had to be in her dorm by 9 p.m. every night so she could FaceTime him to prove she was alone.
A third couldn’t get over the outfit rule:
“I can’t decide which one is the worst, but it’s got to be the fact he would be rating your everyday outfits with his mum.”
Since @ccarollynn had laughed while providing commentary, some viewed her laughter in the video as insensitive.
“IM BY NO MEANS GLAMORIZING CONTROLLING RELATIONSHIPS*** I JUST THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY HE THOUGHT HE HAD THAT MUCH CONTROL,” she wrote in the comments section.
In a follow-up video, she apologized for coming across as insensitive.
“Some people were saying they were in similar situations and that their situation did escalate, and I am so sorry for that,” she said.
“I was not trying to glamourize anything. I know that I was kind of joking and laughing.” She also stated that her ex’s behavior was abuse.
“That’s considered emotionally controlling and abusive,” she said.
She also offered support to other abuse survivors. “If you are in an abusive relationship, domestic violence, anything like that.”
“There are tons of help resources and hotlines you can call,” she concluded.
If you are a victim of domestic abuse or are looking for more information and resources, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline online or at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) .
