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College Student Refuses to Be Caregiver for Autistic Roommate

by Diply Social Team
1 year ago
in Family
Reading Time: 14 mins read
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It’s not easy being a college student, especially when you’re living in a dorm room with a roommate who has special needs. But what happens when everyone around you starts treating you like a caregiver, and your roommate takes advantage of the situation? One young woman found herself in this exact predicament, and she’s had enough! Let’s dive into her story and see what led her to put her foot down.

The College Roommate Dilemma

Image credit: fishnile | fishnile
fishnile | fishnile

The Unwanted Caregiver Role

Image credit: fishnile | fishnile
fishnile | fishnile

Sarah’s Messy Habits

Image credit: fishnile | fishnile
fishnile | fishnile

Autism as an Excuse?

Image credit: fishnile | fishnile
fishnile | fishnile

Cut Her Some Slack?

Image credit: fishnile | fishnile
fishnile | fishnile

Sarah’s Independent Past ️

Image credit: fishnile | fishnile
fishnile | fishnile

Putting Her Foot Down ✋

Image credit: fishnile | fishnile
fishnile | fishnile

Backlash from Friends and Family

Image credit: fishnile | fishnile
fishnile | fishnile

Party Girl Sarah

Image credit: fishnile | fishnile
fishnile | fishnile

Switching Roommates

Image credit: fishnile | fishnile
fishnile | fishnile

Autistic ≠ Incompetent

Image credit: fishnile | fishnile
fishnile | fishnile

Not Her Caregiver ‍♀️

Image credit: fishnile | fishnile
fishnile | fishnile

Enough is Enough: Standing Up for Herself

After being treated like a caregiver for her autistic roommate, Sarah, this college student decided enough was enough. Despite the backlash from friends and family, she stood her ground, knowing that Sarah was capable of taking care of herself. As she points out, autistic people are not incompetent, and she never agreed to be Sarah’s caregiver. With her decision to switch roommates, it’s clear that this young woman is determined to take control of her own life. Let’s see what the internet thinks of this situation…

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Boundaries with roommates: autonomy vs. responsibility

Image credit: avasarala25 | avasarala25
avasarala25 | avasarala25

Not your responsibility . Bring this up with administration ‍

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Stand up for yourself! You’re not her caregiver

Image credit: MiddleAgedCool | MiddleAgedCool
MiddleAgedCool | MiddleAgedCool

NTA for refusing to be taken advantage of by roommate

Image credit: Neravariine | Neravariine
Neravariine | Neravariine

Respectful NTA comment defends neurodivergent roommate’s independence

Image credit: Sunflakes2012 | Sunflakes2012
Sunflakes2012 | Sunflakes2012

Not the a**hole for refusing, but how did this happen?

Image credit: slang_tang_ | slang_tang_
slang_tang_ | slang_tang_

Boundaries are important. NTA for not wanting to be caregiver

Image credit: Flat_Contribution707 | Flat_Contribution707
Flat_Contribution707 | Flat_Contribution707

Document conversations and seek room re-assignment

Image credit: S70nkyK0ng | S70nkyK0ng
S70nkyK0ng | S70nkyK0ng

Setting boundaries and rates like a boss

Image credit: CanterCircles | CanterCircles
CanterCircles | CanterCircles

Roommate not responsible for autistic roommate’s care. NTA

Image credit: Head-Computer5350 | Head-Computer5350
Head-Computer5350 | Head-Computer5350

No obligation to care for roommate with special needs

Image credit: TinyRascalSaurus | TinyRascalSaurus
TinyRascalSaurus | TinyRascalSaurus

Supporting autistic roommate’s independence, debunking harmful stereotypes. NTA

Image credit: HannahAnthonia | HannahAnthonia
HannahAnthonia | HannahAnthonia

Setting boundaries with roommate who expects unpaid caregiving. NTA.

Image credit: squirlysquirel | squirlysquirel
squirlysquirel | squirlysquirel

College roommate with autism needs professional help, NTA for refusing.

Image credit: cjennmom | cjennmom
cjennmom | cjennmom

Autistic roommate not her responsibility. Accommodation ≠ caregiving.

Image credit: Beneficial_Step9088 | Beneficial_Step9088
Beneficial_Step9088 | Beneficial_Step9088

Empathetic commenter supports student’s decision not to be caregiver.

Image credit: Significant_Win6431 | Significant_Win6431
Significant_Win6431 | Significant_Win6431

Roommate conflicts are not always about disabilities. NTA

Image credit: AndSoItGoes24 | AndSoItGoes24
AndSoItGoes24 | AndSoItGoes24

Roommate should be independent or pay for help. NTA

Image credit: mdthomas | mdthomas
mdthomas | mdthomas

College student refuses to be caregiver for autistic roommate. NTA.

Image credit: ashnxght | ashnxght
ashnxght | ashnxght

NTA. Taking care of Sarah takes time out of your schedule. Sarah is NOT your responsibility.

Image credit: Huge_Industry_1259 | Huge_Industry_1259
Huge_Industry_1259 | Huge_Industry_1259

Don’t let guilt make you a caregiver. NTA

Image credit: WbdigoQueenie | WbdigoQueenie
WbdigoQueenie | WbdigoQueenie

College student seeks advice on how to handle autistic roommate

Image credit: Conscious_Air_2466 | Conscious_Air_2466
Conscious_Air_2466 | Conscious_Air_2466

College student refuses to be caregiver for autistic roommate

Image credit: natdiego | natdiego
natdiego | natdiego

Certified commenter says refusing caregiver role is justified.

Image credit: crazymastiff | crazymastiff
crazymastiff | crazymastiff

Being a roommate doesn’t mean being a caretaker

Image credit: EyeFun3023 | EyeFun3023
EyeFun3023 | EyeFun3023

Roommate not your responsibility, good for standing up. NTA

Image credit: Algebralovr | Algebralovr
Algebralovr | Algebralovr

Refusing to be a full-time caregiver for autistic roommate

Image credit: Bitter-Conflict-4089 | Bitter-Conflict-4089
Bitter-Conflict-4089 | Bitter-Conflict-4089

Roommate boundaries respected – NTA for not being a caregiver

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

College is for learning, not babysitting. NTA for refusing.

Image credit: AstronomicalObserve | AstronomicalObserve
AstronomicalObserve | AstronomicalObserve

Set boundaries and don’t be guilt-tripped. You’re not her keeper

Image credit: Choco_guru12 | Choco_guru12
Choco_guru12 | Choco_guru12

College is for learning, not caregiving. NTA.

Image credit: jenniw3g | jenniw3g
jenniw3g | jenniw3g

Breaking social expectations: NTA for refusing to be caregiver

Image credit: MembershipJaded5215 | MembershipJaded5215
MembershipJaded5215 | MembershipJaded5215

Roommate should not exploit others’ decency for her laziness. NTA.

Image credit: Guarenita | Guarenita
Guarenita | Guarenita

NTA stands up for boundaries with autistic roommate

Image credit: Castilian_eggs | Castilian_eggs
Castilian_eggs | Castilian_eggs

Being a caregiver should be voluntary. NTA for refusing.

Image credit: redcore4 | redcore4
redcore4 | redcore4

Living with autism does not make me a burden. NTA

Image credit: memkwen | memkwen
memkwen | memkwen

Student suggests changing rooms to avoid caregiver role for roommate

Image credit: FORMVOLTRON15 | FORMVOLTRON15
FORMVOLTRON15 | FORMVOLTRON15

Stand up for yourself! NTA comment with no replies.

Image credit: No_Character7056 | No_Character7056
No_Character7056 | No_Character7056

Don’t be a caregiver for your roommate with autism. NTA

Image credit: Ok-Abbreviations4510 | Ok-Abbreviations4510
Ok-Abbreviations4510 | Ok-Abbreviations4510

Focus on your studies, not your roommate’s care. NTA

Image credit: SirMittensOfTheHill | SirMittensOfTheHill
SirMittensOfTheHill | SirMittensOfTheHill

College student refuses to be caregiver for roommate with autism

Image credit: AnotherRTFan | AnotherRTFan
AnotherRTFan | AnotherRTFan

Autistic parent shares how to teach self-sufficiency to autistic roommate

Image credit: Happy_Flow826 | Happy_Flow826
Happy_Flow826 | Happy_Flow826

Stand up for yourself! You’re not obligated to be anyone’s caregiver

Image credit: Miserable-Living9569 | Miserable-Living9569
Miserable-Living9569 | Miserable-Living9569

College roommate with autism expects too much from randomly assigned roommate

Image credit: TheEphemeralNight | TheEphemeralNight
TheEphemeralNight | TheEphemeralNight

Mother of autistic adult praises OP for not enabling roommate’s behavior

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

User shares experience with autistic coworker and suggests malicious compliance.

Image credit: oblivious_fireball | oblivious_fireball
oblivious_fireball | oblivious_fireball

NTA. Autistic people must learn to be adults in the world

Image credit: realshockvaluecola | realshockvaluecola
realshockvaluecola | realshockvaluecola

Student refuses to be caregiver for autistic roommate, NTA

Image credit: HunterDangerous1366 | HunterDangerous1366
HunterDangerous1366 | HunterDangerous1366

Roommate not caretaker. NTA. You did not choose this role

Image credit: AmazingLark | AmazingLark
AmazingLark | AmazingLark

Demanding payment for caregiving to entitled roommate

Image credit: Poison-Dart-Frog89 | Poison-Dart-Frog89
Poison-Dart-Frog89 | Poison-Dart-Frog89

Stand up for yourself and report the harassment to admin! NTA

Image credit: BooksAndStarsLover | BooksAndStarsLover
BooksAndStarsLover | BooksAndStarsLover

Don’t be gaslit, move out ‍♂️

Image credit: Procrumpets22 | Procrumpets22
Procrumpets22 | Procrumpets22

College roommate with autism: NTA refuses to be caregiver

Image credit: wolofancy | wolofancy
wolofancy | wolofancy

Refusing to be a caregiver for entitled roommate with autism

Image credit: Bleah100 | Bleah100
Bleah100 | Bleah100

Don’t be her mom , NTA. Let her take care of herself.

Image credit: MaryK007 | MaryK007
MaryK007 | MaryK007

Putting your life on pause for roommate? NTA.

Image credit: Apprehensive-Joke594 | Apprehensive-Joke594
Apprehensive-Joke594 | Apprehensive-Joke594

Caregiver refuses to help autistic roommate, calls her childish

Image credit: MaryK007 | MaryK007
MaryK007 | MaryK007

“NTA, she’s faking not being able to care for herself”

Image credit: Environmental_Act811 | Environmental_Act811
Environmental_Act811 | Environmental_Act811

College student refuses to be caregiver for autistic roommate. #NTA

Image credit: wayward_painter | wayward_painter
wayward_painter | wayward_painter

NTA. Cooking and cleaning for an autistic roommate? Hell no!

Image credit: bab_101 | bab_101
bab_101 | bab_101

NTA, but is the roommate lying about needing a caregiver?

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Stand up for yourself and report the situation to authorities

Image credit: RoadNo9352 | RoadNo9352
RoadNo9352 | RoadNo9352

Advocating for reasonable adjustments and not unpaid caregiving duties

Image credit: Possible_Laugh_9139 | Possible_Laugh_9139
Possible_Laugh_9139 | Possible_Laugh_9139

Autistic commenter supports student’s decision, advises to focus on self

Image credit: rk800s | rk800s
rk800s | rk800s

University should provide a solution. NTA, don’t stress over this.

Image credit: JBB2002902 | JBB2002902
JBB2002902 | JBB2002902

Roommate conflict: NTA suggests room change and family responsibility.

Image credit: cassowary32 | cassowary32
cassowary32 | cassowary32

Report Sarah to RA for better care. NTA, stop helping.

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Roommate should not intrude personal space, NTA for refusing.

Image credit: Unusual-Ride1010 | Unusual-Ride1010
Unusual-Ride1010 | Unusual-Ride1010

Roommate not your responsibility. Autistic not incapable. NTA

Image credit: Dogmother123 | Dogmother123
Dogmother123 | Dogmother123

Autistic adult calls out entitled behavior, suggests charging for caregiving.

Image credit: SamuelVimesTrained | SamuelVimesTrained
SamuelVimesTrained | SamuelVimesTrained

Not responsible for roommate’s care, NTA

Image credit: JalenTargaryen | JalenTargaryen
JalenTargaryen | JalenTargaryen

Roommate refuses to care for autistic roommate, gets support

Image credit: Pretend_Librarian_35 | Pretend_Librarian_35
Pretend_Librarian_35 | Pretend_Librarian_35

RN defends college student’s decision not to be caregiver for autistic roommate

Image credit: Most_Bicycle6185 | Most_Bicycle6185
Most_Bicycle6185 | Most_Bicycle6185

NTA. Parent of autistic kid agrees, suggest charging for help

Image credit: LateEvening6026 | LateEvening6026
LateEvening6026 | LateEvening6026

Fair compensation for caregiving tasks. NTA for refusing.

Image credit: NASA_official_srsly | NASA_official_srsly
NASA_official_srsly | NASA_official_srsly

College student refuses to be caregiver for autistic roommate. NTA.

Image credit: SammyLoops1 | SammyLoops1
SammyLoops1 | SammyLoops1

Student is not obligated to be a caregiver for roommate

Image credit: Blackstar1401 | Blackstar1401
Blackstar1401 | Blackstar1401

Don’t be a caregiver if it’s not your responsibility

Image credit: The_Blue_Adept | The_Blue_Adept
The_Blue_Adept | The_Blue_Adept

Autistic person calls out roommate for using autism as excuse

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Student refuses to be caretaker for autistic roommate. NTA.

Image credit: Less_Ordinary_8516 | Less_Ordinary_8516
Less_Ordinary_8516 | Less_Ordinary_8516
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