Ah, married life.
While sitcoms like Married… With Children and Everybody Loves Raymond likes to portray it as hard, mundane work, it can actually be quite fun.
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It’s like hanging out with your best friend every day, which means lots of laughter , farting, and so much more! Here are 19 funny stories of just that.
The cat scooper
Since this Redditor’s wife never had a pet before they started dating, she didn’t know the ins and outs of being a pet parent. So when her husband got sick one day and asked her to clean the cat’s litter, he found her crouched by the box, wearing a sandwich bag as a glove, while the scoop was right next to her on the floor…
The eye drops
“Asked my wife where my eye drops were. She responded ‘in the bedroom on the tv stand under the lightswitch slightly trapped between the wall,” this Redditor wrote. She could’ve picked them up, but not her job, not her prob!
The chicken wing
While this Redditor’s husband knows he’s not supposed to eat in bed, he broke the rule one night when he thought his wife was sleeping. She wasn’t.
Cue his life flashing before his eyes when he dropped one of the wings on the bed, But since the situation was too funny, the wife just let him think she was sleeping.
The maze
“When she just moved in I heard her walking past me while I was in the bathroom. She was obviously planning to go to the bedroom but walked past me towards the living room. She then tried to sneak past me agian but failed miserably. She admitted that she was lost. We laughed long and hard.” – u/ re_MINDR
The protector
Having your partner’s back in a marriage is extremely important. So when this couple walked to work together downtown, the wife stopped to freak out over the bee that was hovering by her face. Meanwhile, her hubby immediately got into a fighting position. When she told him it was just a bee, he replied with, “I was ready.”
The cat
“Wife and I spend an hour trying to get the cat to turn off the lights, so we didn’t have to get out of bed,” this Redditor wrote. This is laziness and marriage at its finest, people!
The compromise
Wondering who this adorable little guy is? He’s the dog that this Redditor didn’t want but his wife did. So, naturally, meet their new puppy, Cooper! Compromise! It’s what marriage is all about.
Are you happy to see me or is that a hamburger in your pocket?
“My husband and I met after work to see a movie and when he saw me he immediately gave me a big hug and whispered ‘I have hamburgers in my pockets’ sure enough when we sat down in the theater he pulled two hamburgers from A&Ws out of his pockets like it was normal.” – u/ KrystalFayeO
The selfie
Whenever this man and his wife get into a heated argument, his wife will stop mid-argument and take a selfie with him. As you can see, he’s not amused. But did it stop the fight and cause a smile? Probably.
The Godzilla
“One time I walked into our kitchen to witness my wife tromping around in the dark, like a maniac. (Think of Godzilla stomping around crushing things). It was very random and had never seen her act like that. I bring it up often, she loves it.” – u/ phantompainintheass
The lunch
LOL. This is the result of a wife asking her husband to pack her a lunch. Instead, he made a penis joke and sent her on her way with $20. That’s the best lunch someone could ask for!
The startle
“I was went to meet my SO at a gas station near a party she had just been at so I could walk her the rest of the way to her dorm. I walked up behind her and I guess that surprised her enough to pee her pants in the middle of the parking lot. Once she started she couldn’t stop either so she left a decent size puddle. I nearly fell to the ground laughing.” – u/ Primal122
The anniversary
Uh oh. This was the result of a husband needing to borrow his wife’s phone. She said that the password was their anniversary. But since he didn’t know it, he got locked out. This sure smells like a marriage test to us!
The rake
“We were cleaning up our yard, raking up twigs and leaves out of the flower beds after the snow melted, that sort of thing. I come around the corner just in time to witness my wife step on a rake. Full on, home run swing CRACK right between the eyes. Straight out of a cartoon, it sat her on her ass and she just looked at the rake, looked at me, looked back at the rake, and hung her head in shame. I couldn’t breathe I was laughing so hard.” – u/ luckyhunterdude
The resemblance
The resemblance is uncanny! This was discovered when this Redditor and his wife were looking through old photos of him one night. When they came across this photo, his wife started laughing and got the dog flea pills from the cupboard.
The jokester
“Every so often he will crack the silliest, dorkiest joke. They’re magically lame enough that he cracks up and ends up in tears. When he eventually winds down he rubs his eyes and sighs and said ‘ohh, I made myself laugh’. It’s just the cutest.” -u/ BridgetteBane
The accidental gift
If you’re wondering why there are two similar cross-stitch designs, it’s because this Redditor and his wife accidentally got each other the same gift for their second anniversary! These two can let out a sigh of relief that they’re made for each other!
The fart
“One of the first nights we were living together she went to the bathroom and let out a huge fart. I happened to be in the kitchen right outside the door and yelled ‘I heard that!’
She yelled ‘God damnit!!!’ and well both died in uncontrollable laughter. We’ve farted comfortably in front of each other ever since.” – u/ whatsupbudbud
The atlas
“Married for 62 years, but my grandpa will still pull out his road atlas to prove my grandma wrong,” this Redditor wrote. It just goes to show that the stubbornness of marriage never ends!
H/T: Reddit
