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Girlfriend Refuses to Teach Basic Chores: Is She Wrong?

by Diply Social Team
2 years ago
in Family
Reading Time: 10 mins read
A A
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Imagine being in a relationship and considering moving in together, only to find out your partner can’t do basic household chores. That’s the situation one 20-year-old woman finds herself in with her 24-year-old boyfriend. He’s lived at home his whole life, and his mom has always done everything for him. Now, she’s hesitant to move in together until he learns to handle these tasks on his own. But is she wrong for refusing to teach him? Let’s dive into the story.

The Big Move

Image credit: napsandhugs | napsandhugs
napsandhugs | napsandhugs

Mom’s Little Helper ‍

Image credit: napsandhugs | napsandhugs
napsandhugs | napsandhugs

Setting Boundaries

Image credit: napsandhugs | napsandhugs
napsandhugs | napsandhugs

The Teacher/Mom Role ‍♀️

Image credit: napsandhugs | napsandhugs
napsandhugs | napsandhugs

Cooking Compromise

Image credit: napsandhugs | napsandhugs
napsandhugs | napsandhugs

Not So Fast! ⏸️

Image credit: napsandhugs | napsandhugs
napsandhugs | napsandhugs

Annoyed Boyfriend

Image credit: napsandhugs | napsandhugs
napsandhugs | napsandhugs

Quality Time vs. Chore Time ⏳

Image credit: napsandhugs | napsandhugs
napsandhugs | napsandhugs

Mom to the Rescue?

Image credit: napsandhugs | napsandhugs
napsandhugs | napsandhugs

Winging It ‍♂️

Image credit: napsandhugs | napsandhugs
napsandhugs | napsandhugs

Self-Doubt

Image credit: napsandhugs | napsandhugs
napsandhugs | napsandhugs

Grateful for Advice

Image credit: napsandhugs | napsandhugs
napsandhugs | napsandhugs

Is She a Bad Girlfriend or Just Cautious? ‍♀️

This young woman is facing a dilemma: should she teach her boyfriend basic household chores or not? She’s worried about taking on the ‘teacher/mom’ role in the relationship, and would rather spend quality time together than teach him how to clean. Her boyfriend is annoyed, saying she must not care about him if she doesn’t want to help him learn. She’s starting to doubt herself, but is she really in the wrong? Let’s see what the internet has to say about this situation…

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Empowering NTA comment with witty replies

Image credit: LakesideCitrus | LakesideCitrus
LakesideCitrus | LakesideCitrus

NTA. Commenters agree that basic chores are easy to learn.

Image credit: allthecactifindahome | allthecactifindahome
allthecactifindahome | allthecactifindahome

NTA, stand your ground and don’t become his new mommy

Image credit: sufficientmilk | sufficientmilk
sufficientmilk | sufficientmilk

Don’t waste your time teaching him, demand proof of competency. NTA

Image credit: Riblets_the_Brave | Riblets_the_Brave
Riblets_the_Brave | Riblets_the_Brave

NTA. Comment and replies highlight the issue of unequal household responsibilities.

Image credit: Flownique | Flownique
Flownique | Flownique

24-year-old man expects girlfriend to do his chores, NTA response.

Image credit: vicevans01 | vicevans01
vicevans01 | vicevans01

Empowering response to NTA comment about sharing household chores.

Image credit: nom-d-pixel | nom-d-pixel
nom-d-pixel | nom-d-pixel

NTA. Boyfriend lacks initiative and personal responsibility. Agree with replies.

Image credit: terrapharma | terrapharma
terrapharma | terrapharma

NTA for not wanting to take on a mom role

Image credit: SporkCarnival | SporkCarnival
SporkCarnival | SporkCarnival

NTA. Insist he lives alone first and learns to adult.

Image credit: SomeoneSomewhere1984 | SomeoneSomewhere1984
SomeoneSomewhere1984 | SomeoneSomewhere1984

Maturity praised for seeking to learn basic chores.

Image credit: Old_Sheepherder_630 | Old_Sheepherder_630
Old_Sheepherder_630 | Old_Sheepherder_630

Insightful advice on teaching basic chores to a partner.

Image credit: kapbozz1085 | kapbozz1085
kapbozz1085 | kapbozz1085

Sharing chores is important in a relationship.

Image credit: stellalunawitchbaby | stellalunawitchbaby
stellalunawitchbaby | stellalunawitchbaby

Living alone before moving in together can improve relationships ‍

Image credit: asyrian88 | asyrian88
asyrian88 | asyrian88

Taking responsibility for basic chores is important.

Image credit: CuriosiT38 | CuriosiT38
CuriosiT38 | CuriosiT38

Cooking is the Dark Arts, but no excuse for chores.

Image credit: ManiacFive | ManiacFive
ManiacFive | ManiacFive

NTA refuses to be a maid for an unskilled partner.

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Teaching basic chores: relationship dealbreaker or opportunity for growth?

Image credit: QuantityJaded | QuantityJaded
QuantityJaded | QuantityJaded

Short and to the point. Run for the hills!

Image credit: do-it-herselfer | do-it-herselfer
do-it-herselfer | do-it-herselfer

Partner needs to learn basic chores, not rely on mother.

Image credit: gorg_ie | gorg_ie
gorg_ie | gorg_ie

Commenter suggests the boyfriend is lazy and immature.

Image credit: ScammerC | ScammerC
ScammerC | ScammerC

NTA. Partner should take initiative to learn basic chores. Supportive comment.

Image credit: InvarientZero32 | InvarientZero32
InvarientZero32 | InvarientZero32

NTA. 24-year-old should know basic chores and budgeting skills.

Image credit: thesnapening | thesnapening
thesnapening | thesnapening

Engaging 18-year-old shares how easy it is to do chores.

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Don’t fall for it! NTA and stand your ground

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Learning basic chores: necessary or not? Discussion ensues

Image credit: flowers4u | flowers4u
flowers4u | flowers4u

Don’t budge! Insist on basic chores before moving in together.

Image credit: ConsistentCheesecake | ConsistentCheesecake
ConsistentCheesecake | ConsistentCheesecake

Don’t move in with him, he’ll be a pain in the a**.

Image credit: PurpleWeasel | PurpleWeasel
PurpleWeasel | PurpleWeasel

Breaking the umbilical cord: NTA stands up for himself

Image credit: Carys_Vaughn | Carys_Vaughn
Carys_Vaughn | Carys_Vaughn

Teach him basic chores! NTA, don’t coddle him

Image credit: athrowaway11134 | athrowaway11134
athrowaway11134 | athrowaway11134

NAH, but the nasties are out tonight! Fair on both sides.

Image credit: horsendogguy | horsendogguy
horsendogguy | horsendogguy

NTA You’re not his mom, don’t teach him basic chores.

Image credit: Bubbly-Manufacturer | Bubbly-Manufacturer
Bubbly-Manufacturer | Bubbly-Manufacturer

Is he upset because he thinks you believe he’s too stupid?

Image credit: Incirion | Incirion
Incirion | Incirion

NTA wants a partner, not a dependent

Image credit: MorgainofAvalon | MorgainofAvalon
MorgainofAvalon | MorgainofAvalon

Moving in with someone who hasn’t lived alone? NTA explains why it’s not a good idea.

Image credit: likeahike | likeahike
likeahike | likeahike

Teaching basic chores: whose responsibility is it?

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

NTA. Teaching basic chores is an adult responsibility ‍ . Moving in without a plan is a disaster waiting to happen .

Image credit: zestrokes | zestrokes
zestrokes | zestrokes

Partner’s dismissive attitude towards basic chores is a red flag

Image credit: Nicole-Bolas | Nicole-Bolas
Nicole-Bolas | Nicole-Bolas

NTA suggests living alone before moving in to avoid emotional labor ‍ ‍ and financial conflicts .

Image credit: MumbleSnix | MumbleSnix
MumbleSnix | MumbleSnix

Learning basic chores as a child: NTA’s mother vs. commenter

Image credit: mewfour123412 | mewfour123412
mewfour123412 | mewfour123412

YouTube can teach basic life skills, not just cat videos.

Image credit: ExhaustedVetTech | ExhaustedVetTech
ExhaustedVetTech | ExhaustedVetTech

Partner should take initiative to learn basic chores. NTA

Image credit: dungeondragons_ | dungeondragons_
dungeondragons_ | dungeondragons_

Suggests practical solution for boyfriend’s lack of basic skills

Image credit: Maleficent_Ad_3958 | Maleficent_Ad_3958
Maleficent_Ad_3958 | Maleficent_Ad_3958

Internet is the teacher, not you. NTA

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Commenter accuses OP of wanting a ‘bang maid’

Image credit: Blood_magic | Blood_magic
Blood_magic | Blood_magic

Don’t let guilt stop you from setting boundaries.

Image credit: 0000udeis000 | 0000udeis000
0000udeis000 | 0000udeis000

Commenter sympathizes with girlfriend, suggests waiting for boyfriend to become responsible.

Image credit: maybenewbie | maybenewbie
maybenewbie | maybenewbie

Teaching basic chores could lead to feeling like his mom

Image credit: Caycepanda | Caycepanda
Caycepanda | Caycepanda

Couple struggles to find balance in household chores.

Image credit: Hippocr1t | Hippocr1t
Hippocr1t | Hippocr1t

Partner’s lack of basic life skills: NTA for not teaching.

Image credit: starryeyed00 | starryeyed00
starryeyed00 | starryeyed00

Don’t be an a**hole, learn to do basic chores!

Image credit: cyberrella | cyberrella
cyberrella | cyberrella

Don’t be a maid! ‍ Stand up for yourself. NTA.

Image credit: Ihave0friendzer0 | Ihave0friendzer0
Ihave0friendzer0 | Ihave0friendzer0

Stay solid and downright rad!

Image credit: Con-Struct | Con-Struct
Con-Struct | Con-Struct
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