Unsplash | Patrick Tomasso

Bartender Opens Up About Being Treated Differently After Gaining Weight

Updated September 8, 2021

It's a well-known fact that weight discrimination exists in society.

Numerous studies have found harmful stereotypes that view overweight or obese individuals as lazy, weak, unintelligent, and unsuccessful.

The statistics are one thing; to experience this treatment firsthand is a whole other situation.

Sadly, that's what happened to one bartender who opened up about being treated differently since gaining weight.

Trigger warning: This article contains some discussion about body image and eating disorders that readers may find upsetting

This emotional video came from Cassidy Lane, who goes by the username @body_positive_bartender on TikTok.

Instagram | @body_positive_bartender

She had responded to a video on "pretty privilege," which is when a person receives more opportunities because of their good looks.

They are also treated more favorably because of it.

She began by explaining that she had gained weight during the coronavirus pandemic.

TikTok | @body_positive_bartender

This, by the way, is not uncommon.

A 2021 study by JAMA Network Open analyzed 7,400 weight measurements of 270 middle-aged men and women across the United States from February to June 2020.

They found that people's weight steadily increased by about 1.5 pounds per month.

Unsplash | Siora Photography

By those numbers, that's a 25-pound weight increase from February 2020 to June 2021.

But Cassidy's weight gain also had another source: her brave recovery from an eating disorder that she worked on during quarantine.

While this was a major win for her, the weight gain she experienced as a result of recovery caused customers at the bar to treat her differently.

Instagram | @body_positive_bartender

As she explained, "So I work in the service industry, I'm a bartender - and if you were unaware, the way you look influences it a lot, whether that's tips or how people treat you.

"It just does. And my whole life changed when I started getting help for my eating disorder, which resulted in weight gain after the pandemic."

TikTok | @body_positive_bartender

The sensitive topic got her emotional. "I really didn't expect this to make me cry," she said, while tears streamed down her face.

"People don't even look you in the eye anymore, they're not nice to you, especially men," she said.

TikTok | @body_positive_bartender

She explained the treatment she used to get at a lighter weight: "I would walk up and say, 'Hey how's it going, how are you?' And I used to get, 'I'm doing really great honey, how are you?'"

"Now it's a little more like [impersonates self behind bar]: 'Hey how's it going, what can I get you?'"

TikTok | @body_positive_bartender

To this, the men are gruff and impersonal as they say, "Two Coors light and a Bud Light."

As a body-positive influencer with thousands of followers, she's shedding light on this treatment many overweight women face.

"For people saying that doesn't actually happen, please raise your hand if you would willingly like to live as a fat person," she said.

TikTok | @body_positive_bartender

"And the fact that nobody raises their hand makes the point."

She concluded her powerful video with this: "And it just makes you feel hopeless - am I ever going to be worth more than my looks?"

Since then, her video has been viewed over six million times. She's also received thousands of comments from people who have experienced similar treatment.

TikTok | @body_positive_bartender

"My weight has fluctuated all my life. I am 100% treated nicer when I weighed less," wrote one user, whose comment has over 100k likes.

Another pointed out how the video actually made them feel better:

TikTok | @body_positive_bartender

She's right. And as a society, we can and should do better.

Those who have also struggled with an eating disorder could relate. "I've gained and lost weight so many times due to my ED and people always treat me better when I was smaller," wrote one user.

Cassidy was also praised for putting her health in front of the opinions of others.

"I'm so sorry humans suck. But I'm more proud of you for fighting for recovery from your eating disorder. You go, my girl."

If you or someone you know is battling an eating disorder, please contact the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) at 1-800-931-2237 or go to NationalEatingDisorders.org.

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