In case you’ve been living under a rock, Zach Galifianakis’ Between Two Ferns is now a film.
Between Two Ferns: The Movie features Zach questioning celebrities like Brad Pitt, Benedict Cumberbatch, and Justin Bieber.
And by questioning, I mean making very uncomfortable. Who else would be brave enough to ask Chance the Rapper if his brother’s name is Community Chest the Rapper?
Speaking of Chance the Rapper
Zach wanted to know about his family.
Chance told him that he has a brother, who is also a rapper.
Zach asked, “What’s his name, Community Chest the Rapper?”
And now I need a the Rapper family Monopoly board, like, yesterday.
Brie Larson didn’t have to say a word.
“I read online that you’re pretty private and decline to answer questions that make you uncomfortable.”
“Is that true? And how old were you when you got your first period,” he asked.
David Letter(s)man
When the opportunity presents itself to mess with David Letterman’s name, do it.
He also made this joke: “My guest today is Santa Claus with an eating disorder.”
But I’m a millennial whose sense of humor is comprised mostly of Vine references, so I truly think “Lettersman” is funnier.
I can’t believe Bruce Willis survived this.
Y’all…remember when Demi and Ashton were a thing?
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This episode is so NSFW that I can’t quote much of it, so I’m just going to leave you with this joke…and a recommendation to check the whole thing out for yourself.
Vincent Van Get Off the Phone
Not even the legendary painter was safe from a bit.
“This is Vincent Van Gogh answering his cell phone,” Zach said, holding the phone up to his ear.
“Hel—” He switched ears. “Hello?
Art.
Seriously, there is no safe place for Bradley Cooper to hide.
Zach introduced him as the star of “Silver Linings Cookbook.”
He then asked, “How’s bragging camp going?” Which referred to Silver Lining Playbook ‘s Oscar campaign.
Bradley snapped and threw one of the ferns at him.
Can someone check on Matthew McConaughey?
Roast 1: “Of all the things you could have won an Oscar for, how surprised are you that you won one for acting?”
Roast 2: “Alright Alright Alright… sorry I was just reading the box office returns of your last three movies.”
Roast 3: (also an actor)
His Pitts might stink.
“Showers…why don’t you take them?”
Succinct, simple, savage.
Another iconic question that sadly did not age well: “Is it hard for you to maintain a suntan? Because you live in your wife’s shadow.”
Drive-by Cooper burn.
While interviewing John Hamm, Zach made sure to hit on the hot topic of Bradley Cooper.
“Bradley Cooper wrote, directed, and starred in _A Star is Born. Are you hoping that will open doors for other hot idiots?”
I’ve never seen Steve Carrell look more like Michael Scott.
“On the beach, people would yell, ‘Shark!’ Later they realize that it was just Steve Carrell doing the backstroke.”
Man, that’s a “Michael looking at Toby” level glare right there. Yikes.
Two Cumberbatch jokes for the price of one.
I don’t know why Zach bothered saying anything when that moustache is a roast in itself, but anyway.
“You got your start doing theatre and independent films,” he said.
“I did,” Cumberbatch replied.
“And now you’re acting in Marvel movies. How good does it feel to sell-out?”
Aw, poor Keanu.
It really should be a crime to roast Keanu.
“You have a big scar, I hear, from a motorcycle accident,” Zach begins. “I have a similar scar on my leg.”
“From what?”
“I walked out of the movie Lake House. Bumped into the seat in front of me.”
I feel so bad for laughing out loud.
Sure, that’s close enough to Steinfeld.
“You’ve been in Pitch Perfect 2 and 3. Do you ever wish you were in the good one?”
I’m sorry for agreeing with him. The original is superior in every sense of the word.
Well…this joke hits different.
Dicey yet timely joke incoming.
“Do you wonder what your opponent might be wearing?” Zach asked then-Presidential candidate and popular vote winner Hillary Clinton.
“I assume, you know, he’ll wear that red power tie—”
“Or maybe like a ‘white power’ tie.”
“That would be even more appropriate.”
And I oop—
Obama had the last laugh.
Celebrities occasionally get their revenge on Zach. Bradley Cooper’s involved throwing a fern, Obama’s involved turkey.
“Was that depressing to you? Seeing one turkey taken out of circulation, one you couldn’t eat?”