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Teen’s Uncertainty About Future Care for Disabled Sister Sparks Family Tension

by Diply Social Team
1 year ago
in Family
Reading Time: 13 mins read
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Picture this: you’re a 17-year-old girl, on the cusp of adulthood, navigating the complex world of college applications. Everything is going as expected until your mom drops the bombshell question: ‘You’re going to be taking care of your disabled sister, right?’ The teen, stunned, could only reply with ‘I don’t know.’ This unexpected response sends shockwaves through the family, leaving everyone in a state of uncertainty and tension. Let’s dive into this emotionally charged tale.

College Applications and Unexpected Questions

Image credit: separate-mood-4820 | separate-mood-4820
separate-mood-4820 | separate-mood-4820

A Bombshell Question

Image credit: separate-mood-4820 | separate-mood-4820
separate-mood-4820 | separate-mood-4820

Mom’s Shock and Disappointment

Image credit: separate-mood-4820 | separate-mood-4820
separate-mood-4820 | separate-mood-4820

The Teen’s Perspective

Image credit: separate-mood-4820 | separate-mood-4820
separate-mood-4820 | separate-mood-4820

Mom’s Hope and Accusations

Image credit: separate-mood-4820 | separate-mood-4820
separate-mood-4820 | separate-mood-4820

Selfish or Just Uncertain? ‍♀️

Image credit: separate-mood-4820 | separate-mood-4820
separate-mood-4820 | separate-mood-4820

A Significant Commitment

Image credit: separate-mood-4820 | separate-mood-4820
separate-mood-4820 | separate-mood-4820

The Desire to Stay Connected

Image credit: separate-mood-4820 | separate-mood-4820
separate-mood-4820 | separate-mood-4820

The Big Question

Image credit: separate-mood-4820 | separate-mood-4820
separate-mood-4820 | separate-mood-4820

A Family at Crossroads: Expectations, Uncertainty and a Future Unknown

Caught between the pressures of impending adulthood and family expectations, our 17-year-old protagonist finds herself in a dilemma that’s all too real for many families. Her mother’s expectation that she’ll become the primary caregiver for her disabled sister clashes with her own uncertainty about her future. The teen doesn’t outright refuse, but her ‘I don’t know’ sends shockwaves through the family, sparking a conversation about responsibility, sacrifice, and the reality of caring for a disabled family member. As we delve into the internet’s reactions to this family drama, remember: there are no easy answers here.

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NTA. Parents should plan for sister’s care without burdening you.

Image credit: prairieislander | prairieislander
prairieislander | prairieislander

NTA. Lifelong responsibility, no need to be sure now.

Image credit: iloveyouKKslider | iloveyouKKslider
iloveyouKKslider | iloveyouKKslider

NTA. Family assumes OP will care for sister, manipulates with money

Image credit: Embarrassed-Sweet905 | Embarrassed-Sweet905
Embarrassed-Sweet905 | Embarrassed-Sweet905

Teen’s uncertainty about caring for disabled sister sparks family tension

Image credit: StAlvis | StAlvis
StAlvis | StAlvis

Sibling struggles with future care for disabled sister. NTA.

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Teen refuses to be guilted into caring for disabled sister

Image credit: ckmovesit | ckmovesit
ckmovesit | ckmovesit

NTA – OP raises valid concerns about future responsibilities. ️

Image credit: TheQuietType84 | TheQuietType84
TheQuietType84 | TheQuietType84

Being realistic at 17, not selfish. Sensible decision

Image credit: kaito1hxh1 | kaito1hxh1
kaito1hxh1 | kaito1hxh1

Choosing your own path doesn’t make you an a**hole

Image credit: Sillakit | Sillakit
Sillakit | Sillakit

Family tension over future care for disabled sister

Image credit: Blake_Raven | Blake_Raven
Blake_Raven | Blake_Raven

NTA. Don’t let guilt trip you into taking on unrealistic responsibility

Image credit: Affectionate_Slice10 | Affectionate_Slice10
Affectionate_Slice10 | Affectionate_Slice10

Teen refuses to sacrifice future for disabled sister, sparks family tension

Image credit: Humble-Negotiation32 | Humble-Negotiation32
Humble-Negotiation32 | Humble-Negotiation32

NTA- Misconceptions about Down Syndrome and future independence, clarified with empathy

Image credit: lostalldoubt86 | lostalldoubt86
lostalldoubt86 | lostalldoubt86

NTA. Mother’s manipulation and threats are unacceptable. Well said, commenter.

Image credit: bamf1701 | bamf1701
bamf1701 | bamf1701

Teen feels relieved about not being responsible for disabled sister’s care

Image credit: MotherBike | MotherBike
MotherBike | MotherBike

Choosing your role as caretaker for your sibling.

Image credit: Mamertine | Mamertine
Mamertine | Mamertine

NTA. Siblings are not your responsibility! Focus on your goals

Image credit: EllieMacAus19 | EllieMacAus19
EllieMacAus19 | EllieMacAus19

NTA. Honest response to guilt-tripping parents. Good luck with college!

Image credit: bea_runs_02 | bea_runs_02
bea_runs_02 | bea_runs_02

NTA – OP shouldn’t be responsible for disabled sibling’s future ‍♀️

Image credit: jaded_angel85 | jaded_angel85
jaded_angel85 | jaded_angel85

NTA. You have a right to live your own life

Image credit: geckotatgirl | geckotatgirl
geckotatgirl | geckotatgirl

Logical response to unfair request for lifelong responsibility.

Image credit: emotionallydented445 | emotionallydented445
emotionallydented445 | emotionallydented445

NTA. Your sister is not your responsibility. Your life, your choice

Image credit: exchefknifesbs | exchefknifesbs
exchefknifesbs | exchefknifesbs

NTA: Mom assumes you’ll care for disabled sister without discussion

Image credit: AsuraRathalos | AsuraRathalos
AsuraRathalos | AsuraRathalos

NTA. Your parents should figure out your sister’s future care

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

NTA- Don’t let your mother guilt trip you into sacrificing your freedom

Image credit: rexmanningday00 | rexmanningday00
rexmanningday00 | rexmanningday00

Teen feels burdened by future care expectations for disabled sister

Image credit: BeccaUnit | BeccaUnit
BeccaUnit | BeccaUnit

Sibling boundaries: Who’s responsible for disabled sister?

Image credit: Ill-Rush6002 | Ill-Rush6002
Ill-Rush6002 | Ill-Rush6002

NTA. Your mom’s selfishness and pressure is unfair and toxic

Image credit: Traditional_Bat671 | Traditional_Bat671
Traditional_Bat671 | Traditional_Bat671

Teen’s concerns about future care for disabled sister and parental expectations

Image credit: Rural_Bedbug | Rural_Bedbug
Rural_Bedbug | Rural_Bedbug

NTA. Parents should help sister develop independence for better quality of life

Image credit: KaliTheBlaze | KaliTheBlaze
KaliTheBlaze | KaliTheBlaze

Teen refuses to be burdened with sister’s care. Independence matters.

Image credit: Bitter-Conflict-4089 | Bitter-Conflict-4089
Bitter-Conflict-4089 | Bitter-Conflict-4089

NTA, research facilities for sister, give mom an option

Image credit: Informal_Evening_249 | Informal_Evening_249
Informal_Evening_249 | Informal_Evening_249

Not the a**hole for being uncertain about future care

Image credit: eyore5775 | eyore5775
eyore5775 | eyore5775

Better to know now

Image credit: Nagadavida | Nagadavida
Nagadavida | Nagadavida

“NTA. Your sister is your parent’s responsibility. Her future is their responsibility to plan for, not burden you with. In your current position, I’d decrease her involvement in your application process, apply to all the scholarships you can (apply like it’s your job), so you’re not at risk of any sabotage by her. Her main concern is you becoming your sister’s caretaker, yours need to be your future.”

Image credit: baobab77 | baobab77
baobab77 | baobab77

NTA – Being a carer is a full-time job

Image credit: Brilliant_Victory_77 | Brilliant_Victory_77
Brilliant_Victory_77 | Brilliant_Victory_77

Mom’s responsibility to plan for sister’s care, not yours. NTA

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

“Mom’s unrealistic expectations cause tension. NTA for setting boundaries.”

Image credit: Heraonolympia123 | Heraonolympia123
Heraonolympia123 | Heraonolympia123

Parent’s concern about burden on siblings caring for disabled child

Image credit: Slow-Confection-3110 | Slow-Confection-3110
Slow-Confection-3110 | Slow-Confection-3110

Supportive comment suggests exploring group homes for sister’s independence

Image credit: CelerySecure | CelerySecure
CelerySecure | CelerySecure

Sibling rotation for disabled brother, but group homes are unacceptable. College loans > caretaker expectations.

Image credit: Sorry-Independent-98 | Sorry-Independent-98
Sorry-Independent-98 | Sorry-Independent-98

Family tensions arise over responsibility for disabled sister’s care and finances

Image credit: CopperTodd17 | CopperTodd17
CopperTodd17 | CopperTodd17

NTA for wanting to decide your future, it’s your life

Image credit: DazzlingAssistant342 | DazzlingAssistant342
DazzlingAssistant342 | DazzlingAssistant342

Commenter questions urgency and involvement in caring for disabled sister

Image credit: transcendedfry | transcendedfry
transcendedfry | transcendedfry

Planning for the future: A family’s financial responsibility

Image credit: Shoddy_Lifeguard_852 | Shoddy_Lifeguard_852
Shoddy_Lifeguard_852 | Shoddy_Lifeguard_852

17-year-old unsure about caring for disabled sister. NTA

Image credit: Immediate_Park_3658 | Immediate_Park_3658
Immediate_Park_3658 | Immediate_Park_3658

NTA. Don’t let guilt limit your life. Your future matters

Image credit: unlordtempest | unlordtempest
unlordtempest | unlordtempest

Heartbreaking situation Family tension over disabled sister’s care

Image credit: Warhammer517 | Warhammer517
Warhammer517 | Warhammer517

NTA: Taking control of your own life and decisions

Image credit: Interesting-End1710 | Interesting-End1710
Interesting-End1710 | Interesting-End1710

Programs for sister’s development? Share your experiences!

Image credit: 2ndcupofcoffee | 2ndcupofcoffee
2ndcupofcoffee | 2ndcupofcoffee

Mom’s reaction to teen’s concern about disabled sister’s future

Image credit: Marzipan-Various | Marzipan-Various
Marzipan-Various | Marzipan-Various

NTA. Don’t let guilt hold you back. Explore your options!

Image credit: howie-is-my-homeboy | howie-is-my-homeboy
howie-is-my-homeboy | howie-is-my-homeboy

You’re not the a**hole for prioritizing your own life

Image credit: Gin_gerCat | Gin_gerCat
Gin_gerCat | Gin_gerCat

Future care for disabled sister: A family’s loving commitment

Image credit: Jaded-Size-7898 | Jaded-Size-7898
Jaded-Size-7898 | Jaded-Size-7898

Teen not the a**hole for uncertain future care

Image credit: theviolethour3 | theviolethour3
theviolethour3 | theviolethour3

NTA. Your mom wants you to sacrifice your future for her.

Image credit: Max_Evocatus | Max_Evocatus
Max_Evocatus | Max_Evocatus

Embrace your right to be selfish and live your own life

Image credit: Winter-Pudding9384 | Winter-Pudding9384
Winter-Pudding9384 | Winter-Pudding9384

Teen refuses responsibility for disabled sister, family tension ensues

Image credit: OrcEight | OrcEight
OrcEight | OrcEight

NTA. Personal experience with special needs sibling and future planning.

Image credit: newenglandnasty204 | newenglandnasty204
newenglandnasty204 | newenglandnasty204

NTA. Not your kid. Not your problem

Image credit: ajaye90 | ajaye90
ajaye90 | ajaye90

Teen refuses responsibility for disabled sister’s lifelong care.

Image credit: Odd-Cloud-6838 | Odd-Cloud-6838
Odd-Cloud-6838 | Odd-Cloud-6838

NTA. Plan together for sister’s future, explore support groups

Image credit: Awkward-Ad-1026 | Awkward-Ad-1026
Awkward-Ad-1026 | Awkward-Ad-1026

Realistic teen faces family tension over disabled sister’s care.

Image credit: slendermanismydad | slendermanismydad
slendermanismydad | slendermanismydad

Family tensions rise as responsibility for disabled sister debated

Image credit: ExplanationNo6063 | ExplanationNo6063
ExplanationNo6063 | ExplanationNo6063

Mom’s manipulative tactics backfire. NTA. Your sister’s future matters.

Image credit: DZHMMM | DZHMMM
DZHMMM | DZHMMM

Sibling’s guilt-free perspective: It’s not your responsibility

Image credit: Trick-Panda-7509 | Trick-Panda-7509
Trick-Panda-7509 | Trick-Panda-7509

Parents expecting too much from college-bound teen

Image credit: Jaded-Permission-324 | Jaded-Permission-324
Jaded-Permission-324 | Jaded-Permission-324

NTA. Sister’s care not OP’s responsibility. Mom should save money.

Image credit: Conscious_Front5650 | Conscious_Front5650
Conscious_Front5650 | Conscious_Front5650

NTA for wanting independence and not being guilt-tripped by mother

Image credit: JealousGuarantee8913 | JealousGuarantee8913
JealousGuarantee8913 | JealousGuarantee8913

Mom’s refusal to plan for disabled sister’s future sparks tension

Image credit: Motor_Business483 | Motor_Business483
Motor_Business483 | Motor_Business483

Mother using college as blackmail to care for disabled sister

Image credit: naraic- | naraic-
naraic- | naraic-

Supportive comment defends sibling’s decision, sparks family tension

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

“NTA – Facing the reality of lifelong care for disabled sibling.”

Image credit: JynFlyn | JynFlyn
JynFlyn | JynFlyn

Parents shouldn’t expect siblings to be caregivers. NTA

Image credit: DameofDames | DameofDames
DameofDames | DameofDames
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