No parent is perfect and even the best of them are bound to screw up sooner or later. However, sometimes in an attempt to raise children “correctly” parents can wind up screwing their kids up permanently.
Some care too much, whereas others seem to not care at all. In order to get a better understanding of what I’m saying, have a look below as these women of Reddit share the stories of what their parents did that completely screwed them up.
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Failure isn’t an option.
“I was always praised for being really smart. I never really learned how to practice anything or cope with failing. As a result, I’m an underachiever and I only do things that I’m assuredly going to be good at.” – Reddit u/Fancy_Ball
Not allowing them the freedom to be kids.
Redditor Confetticandi said that her parents constantly forced her to become involved with extracurricular activities while she was growing up. She said that it seriously affected her ability to interact socially with kids her own age.
Exhibiting an unwillingness to set healthy boundaries with family members.
Reddit user Comfortable-Deer565 used to have an uncle who would constantly drink too much and try to kiss and grope her. Instead of stepping in, her parents would just shrug and laugh it off.
Yelling and spanking as a form of discipline.
When Reddit user celestialism was young, their parents used to scream and hit her whenever she’d step out of line. What they mistook for discipline only ended up causing serious and long-lasting trauma.
Confusing abuse for affection.
“Telling me as a child that when a boy hit me or called me names, it was a sign of affection.
I should have clarified that this taught me to accept and make excuses for cruelty or abuse.” – Reddit u/Willough
Anything less than perfect is a failure.
Reddit user youfancy_huh wishes that her parents had put such an emphasis on attaining what they perceived to be perfection. Her mental health has suffered greatly as a result of this type of conditioning.
This too shall pass.
When MosadiMogolo was a kid, her parents always told her that whatever hurt or discomfort she felt would soon come to pass. She understands that this was meant to be a comfort, but it resulted in her thinking that her feelings weren’t validated.
Doctors don’t always have the right answer.
Wanting to act in accordance with her pediatrician’s wishes, Reddit user scthoma4’s parents put her on her first diet at the age of eight. It resulted in a lifetime of insecurity and an extremely unhealthy relationship with food.
Pretending that everything was alright when really it wasn’t.
Redditor crazynekosama understands that it was all for appearances and to try and make things easier for her, but it forced her into playing along with their rouse when she knew full well that their family was broken.
Speak when spoken to.
“I get asked at work all the time why I’m so quiet, and its[sic] because I only like to speak when spoken to, or if I have something really meaningful to contribute. I also work in a male-dominated field so I tend to get talked over a lot.”
Subjecting them to an alcoholic parent.
When Redditor kalex925 was a little girl, she began noticing that her parent was struggling with alcohol. She begged and begged them both to go to therapy , but neither was prepared to acknowledge that there was a problem.
A severe lack of emotional security.
Reddit user kikibird747 said that at no point throughout her childhood did her parents make her feel safe or loved. Any positive feedback or emotion that she received was always conditional, and it made her feel like she could never count on anyone.
Constant critiquing.
When Reddit user pbd1996 was growing up, her mother used to constantly critique every little thing that she did. In her mother’s eyes, she was a total failure and could never do anything right — a feeling that has stayed with her until this very day.
No boys allowed.
In an attempt to preserve her innocence, Reddit user Vyseria’s parents had a zero-tolerance policy when it came to her interacting with boys. She never developed the tools to function in a relationship with members of the opposite sex and still struggles.
Utterly obsessed with appearances.
“My mom always complimented my appearance so this wasn’t intentional, but from observing her self hating habits and weird relationship with food, I also picked up on that. I feel like I can never, at any weight, be happy with myself, nor have I ever had a normal relationship with food either.” – Reddit u/OverallDisaster
h/t: Reddit
