When it comes to motherhood, it seems every mom has her own set of rules — whether she’ll admit it or not!
Recently, a woman on Threads asked for the “non-negotiables” that make other moms secretly judge their peers. The responses? Let’s just say they’re both relatable and a little revealing. Here’s what fellow moms had to say.
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On Elder Parents and ‘Outdated’ Advice:
“Elder parents attempting to shame younger parents for updated best practices. i.e., sorry, My infant doesn’t need a hat after two hours in a public building. Yes, my child is still rear-facing in the car seat. No, they don’t need to finish their plate before dessert.”
Breastfeeding Battles:
Some moms have a bone to pick with the “‘breast is best’ mums.” As one mom put it, “Like sweet, my babe can suck the powder out of mine.” It’s clear the pressure to breastfeed is still a hot topic in parenting circles.
No Lying Zone:
“Lying to your kids about even small things” is another source of judgment. One mom believes, “There are age-appropriate ways to say almost everything without resorting to lies…even if it makes your life feel easier in the moment.”
Less Judgment, More Compassion:
Some moms preach understanding. “Unless it includes actual child neglect and/or actual child abuse, perhaps we just let them do them and not mommy shame?” suggested one mom. But not everyone agrees.
Substance Use Around Kids:
A hard line is drawn on substance use. One respondent stated, “Smoking weed or drinking alcohol around kids. I don’t care, I’m judging you.” Seems like some habits are hard to overlook.
Car Seats and Weaning Woes:
“Car seat safety and early weaning” came up repeatedly. “People are looking for ANY excuse to forward face so early and wean far too early. It’s ridiculous,” one mom complained.
The Sober Supervisor Rule:
“There should be at least 1 sober adult…capable of being responsible for however many kids are in their care,” insisted one mom, highlighting concerns over child safety at gatherings where alcohol is present.
The ‘Elimination’ Method:
“That ‘elimination’ strategy that forces children to be potty trained way too early” raised eyebrows. “Basically everything that pushes children to quicken their natural development rhythm,” is a no-go for some.
Kicking Kids Out at 18:
One mom wasn’t shy about her stance: “Parents that kick kids out at 18 give me the ick… Parenthood is not 18 years, it’s a lifetime.” She also has a strong opinion on diaper changes saying, “I hardcore can’t stand noticeably wet diapers. I get it diapers are expensive and it sucks changing wet diapers but I’d rather invest another $75-$100 a month for my kid to be dry and comfortable.”
Sick Kids in Public Places:
“I’m judgey about parents bringing their OBVIOUSLY sick child to play centres,” admitted one mom. “Please, not at the expense of all the other children that are there too.”
On Child Safety and Babysitters:
“Safety, and letting ANYBODY watch your kids is a big one for me,” shared one mom, underlining the importance of choosing caretakers wisely.
Car Seat Challenges:
A mom who once judged others learned a hard lesson: “I used to be SO intense about rearfacing carseats until…my daughter learned to unbuckle herself,” she shared. Now, she’s a little more forgiving.
Smoking Indoors and Teaching Kids to Swim:
Judgments aren’t just limited to parenting style but also lifestyle choices. “Smoking in the car or house or not teaching kids to swim,” were mentioned as serious concerns.
Safe Sleep Practices:
“Safe sleep for babies” is a hot-button topic. “More babies die in unsafe sleep spaces or positions than in car accidents,” one mom pointed out, emphasizing the importance of safe sleeping environments.
Emotional Safety Matters Too:
Some moms focus on more than just physical safety: “I definitely mom shame those who put their children through trauma & not find resources to get out… Trauma has a way to take shape the brain of a developing child.”
Do you judge other moms?
While the list of things moms judge each other for seems endless, the common thread is clear — each mom just wants the best for her child, even if her definition of “the best” doesn’t always align with others.
Whether it’s about safety, honesty, or letting kids be kids, moms aren’t afraid to share their opinions, for better or worse!
