As much as I would like to believe there is equality in the workplace , that isn’t always the case for many women . Sadly, often women face double standards while men get an overwhelming pass.
A recent Reddit thread asked, “Women of Reddit, what’s the double standard you face as a woman while your male colleagues got a pass?” and women responded in droves. I’m going to share some of their concerns with the rest of you, to hopefully shed some light on this situation. Let’s take a look.
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This Work-Up-The-Ladder Situation
“Being perceived as competent in your field. When joining a new technical group, you have a much longer road to gain the same perception as your male counterparts. The road is also more difficult because you have to try and get others to perceive you as a sister or daughter rather than a possible sexual partner.”
Oh, I hear that loud and clear.
This Annoying Feeling
“I work in cybersecurity, and 90% of my coworkers are older men. Luckily, I’m in a pretty non-toxic workplace, and I genuinely don’t have major issues with the way I’m treated. However, I have definitely noticed that some of my coworkers seem to perceive me as a ‘daughter-type’ character. Sometimes, they will even directly compare me to their own daughters — who are relatively close in age to me from the perspective of someone older but still several years younger than me. It’s something that doesn’t feel malicious or intentionally sexist, but it still kind of makes me feel weird. It’s like this subtle reminder that, by default, I’m not perceived to be on level footing with them.”
Oh, yeah, been there done that.
This Odd Treatment
“I work in a garden center at a retail store, and almost every time I go to load dirt or other ‘heavy’ items, I get the same responses: ‘Why isn’t there a man doing this?’ ‘Why are they making the girl do the heavy lifting?’ ‘Let me do that, a girl shouldn’t have to lift that.’
But the minors who work there and can barely lift anything get not a word.”
I can totally see that.
This Phone Etiquette
“There are just a few of us at my job who answer the phone. People are MUCH more willing to be rude to the one female colleague who answers the phone. We have people who we talk to regularly who feel comfortable berating her over problems but will keep themselves in line when talking to one of our male staff.”
That’s just terrible.
This Reprimand
“I said I was good at Excel because I’m certified. I offered to teach folks macros because they kept having trouble with some work they were doing (they did and I held a fun lunch and learn). My boss later told me that I need to avoid being cocky. In the same meeting he also told me that people should never put a promotion as one of their goals – even though 1) I hadn’t put it as a goal and 2) it’s absolutely okay to have a promotion as a goal with steps to achieve it.”
Wow, what a nice work environment, huh?
This Clean-Up Duty
“I had to make an actual announcement to an office full of adults (mostly men), that they were all responsible for cleaning up and putting away their own potluck contributions. The guys, especially the older ones, had been expecting the three women in the office to pack up their dishes for them, or to tell the guys when to come to do it.”
Sadly, in many offices, that’s still the norm.
This Annoying Scenario
“I work as a customer support rep for an EMR and I had a question where I had my IT help me. My IT told me to say ‘XYZ’, I wrote it down, asked my IT if what I wrote down was right, they said yes, so I told the person over the phone, she told me I made no sense so I had my male IT get on the phone, say the exact same thing I said and he got told, “Oh that makes sense, what she said earlier made absolutely no sense.”
That’s too bad.
This Body Art Issue
“Tattoos. It varies from place to place but at the last place I worked, there were managers who were heavily tattooed and did not cover them. But I was required to cover every single one of mine and was told if I got any I couldn’t cover I couldn’t move up in my role. Very happy to work somewhere where that’s not an issue anymore.”
Wow, that sucks, huh?
These Grooming Standards
“‘Grooming standards’ for women: eight pages annotated with images on hair, makeup, clothing, shoes, jewelry, posture, and HANDS. Men: half a paragraph saying ‘look well-groomed.'”
I worked in a place where you couldn’t wear tights even under your skirts. They had to be pantyhose. Needless to say, I really didn’t like that as I can’t stand pantyhose.
This Make-Up Rule
“Being expected to wear make-up and have our hair and nails done to hold a professional title. My male coworkers don’t have to wake up earlier to add that into their routine, but if I choose to skip it I’m deemed unprofessional.”
As someone who doesn’t like to wear makeup every day, I wouldn’t last there very long, hee-hee.
This Rude Behavior
“Interrupting. I get interrupted constantly — even if I am the presenter or the current speaker. Other women get interrupted, too, but men very rarely do. I tried doing the, ‘What was she going to say?’ when men interrupt other women, but the other women get so embarrassed that they wave it off.”
Oh, man, that would drive me crazy.
This Silent Treatment
“I’ve let my hair go gray. I’m 47. My hair was so unhealthy from dying it. It’s long and lovely, just salt and pepper. But now, I’m ignored. The difference in the way I’m treated is so very stark when nothing else about me has changed. Men of the same age with even more gray are wise and distinguished. I’m over the hill. It pisses me off.”
OMG, I’m contemplating highlighting my gray hair and that would be so sad if I worked in that environment.
This Blue-Collar Standard
“Sorry for not being a woman. I work in a union blue-collar field, when men get angry and blow up (all of the time….. I did it last week) everyone makes excuses ‘he’s just tired/stressed/overworked’ but when a woman does it she is ’emotional/unstable/etc…’ Nah, bro, she’s tired stressed, overworked, and sick of pulling half of your weight around.”
Amen to that.
This Ridiculous Work Situation
“I work at a winery. The men can do whatever it takes to get club sign-ups and bottle sales. They tend to be given tables with lots of women and make significantly more in tips. They also tend to overpour and give freebies to get what they have to make money. Managers will give female servers the members’ tables, watch them pour, and reprimand them for not following guidelines. The more attractive females will be sent to older investors who don’t tip but like to be in the presence of attractive, young women. They will be there for hours, and these female servers have to entertain the investors while making absolutely no money.”
Honestly, I couldn’t do a job like that.
This Constant Battle
“Bossy vs. Assertive, Pedantic vs. Professional, Demanding vs. Decisive. Basically, everyone feels free to critique our appearance and behavior which they conflate with competency.”
It’s honestly a lose-lose kind of situation. You’re damned if you do, and you’re damned if you don’t.
This Double Standard
“Being passionate about your field of work. My male co-worker could get fired up and be assertive, and people would pay attention and take him seriously. I get fired up and stand up for what my division needs; I am a [expletive]. I have no friends at work, and I do not care. My division is successful. They respect his fire. Mine is treated as emotional.”
Oh, that must be so hard.
This Family Issue
“Not wanting kids or getting married. Guys get responses like ‘Ha, ha yeah nothing can tie this handsome bachelor down’ or ‘dodging a bullet there!’ Meanwhile, women get told ‘Oh you’ll definitely change your mind when you’re older’ [and] ‘But aren’t you afraid you’ll be lonely/you’ll die alone?'”
Oh, yeah. This happens all the time.
This Total Disrespect
“Part of my job is writing parking tickets. Most of my tickets go to male faculty members who consistently park in no parking zones. It’s a $15 ticket… I just found out that the guy before me did tickets, too. He not only ticketed the same people I do, but he also gave $50 tickets. Yet they love him and hate me. Once, I even tried to get one faculty member to move with the threat of being towed. He told me he will never move and there was nothing I could do. My boss then spoke to him about moving, and he moved because ‘It came from a man’ rather than me because he doesn’t respect my authority as a woman.”
Wow, that is so disrespectful, right?
Wow, did any of these issues surprise you?
I have to admit I’ve heard horror stories like these, but once you hear it from the women themselves, it’s even worse. It’s really sad to see that even in this day and age, women still don’t feel like they’re treated equally at their jobs. This needs to change, and I hope bringing light to these issues can hopefully influence positive change.
